Author Aussiegirl94 Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 1 hour ago, snowboy91 said: Are you implying that if OP has slept with a large number of men that it is somehow "wrong"? You have got to be kidding me... if he'd made up his mind about the relationship, why the need to drill you (and not in a good way!) for an entire hour? If he had any bit of self confidence he wouldn't care what others thought and would take your relationship as is. You'll be glad to be rid of him. I believe he is taking all his anger out on me. I should have told him to leave my house sooner but I wanted him to know it was a lie.
basil67 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 16 hours ago, Aussiegirl94 said: Update: we had a face to face conversation, he has heard a rumour that I used to be a hooker(totally untrue) he wouldn’t take my answer and was drilling me for over an hour. Asking me to just admit it so he can have a clear coincidence that he is making the right choice to end the relationship. I didn’t really know what to say, I am shocked. That's appalling! I feel like this hour long argument would have been one of those 'no win' situations...where they already think you're guilty and the more you defend yourself, the more they think you're covering up. So glad you got rid of him.
Maldives Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) Think you may have approached a little off kilter. I think at the party you should of let him know straight off and not chatted wth the ex that's just my opinion. The first one though is not your fault just sheer coincidence not much you can do about that. If he can't accept it then you just have to accept this and let him go if that's what he wants. I can see how that would be uncomfortable for him I'd probably struggle with it as well to be honest but truly how were you to foresee this in the future? That's just not in your control weird though lol and strange Edited February 2, 2021 by Goodguy05
josedelamuerte Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 Wow. This is just a sad, highly unlikely set of coincidences. Bummer. I feel your pain. The most annoying thing about it is that no matter what you would've said or done, I don't think you could've made him see it that way.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 On 2/1/2021 at 6:03 AM, Aussiegirl94 said: He said that he knows what guys are like and they will call me a slut(not that he thinks I am) Oh yes, he does. Make no mistake, those are his thoughts that he's projecting. Proof? Right here: 19 hours ago, Aussiegirl94 said: Update: we had a face to face conversation, he has heard a rumour that I used to be a hooker(totally untrue) he wouldn’t take my answer and was drilling me for over an hour. Asking me to just admit it so he can have a clear coincidence that he is making the right choice to end the relationship. He is not right in the head. He thinks terrible things about you and is trying to manipulate and gaslight you. It's pretty convenient that he just randomly heard this "rumour" while all his other insecurities are bubbling to the surface. I call BS that anyone told him you were a prostitute. That's his paranoid delusion, and it's sickening that he interrogated you about this. Rational, mature adults don't do things like this, OP. I would never speak to this man again. The things he says and thinks about you are awful, and should be all the proof you need that he doesn't deserve a place in your life. 3
HadMeOverABarrel Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 On 2/1/2021 at 12:03 AM, Aussiegirl94 said: they will call me a slut Whoa! Those are not nice words from your boyfriend. I think he's projecting his own thoughts onto other men in his peer group. We can't really know what others are thinking (the way he describes it), can we? What he's really telling you is what he thinks about you and your past...and he is being totally unreasonable and gross about it. From your op I was thinking this guy is really unfair, unrealistic, and has plenty of his own issues that are showing up as obstacles to a healthy relationship. I think you should tell him that "these shoes are made for walkin' and that's just what they'll do!" I also got the impression you're an attractive lady. Good for you! Don't settle. Sorry this guy might not be as great as you'd hoped. 2
HadMeOverABarrel Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 19 hours ago, Gaeta said: I don't believe for one minute he heard a rumour. Nailed it! Exactly what I was thinking. This guy is a nutter.
HadMeOverABarrel Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 7 hours ago, Aussiegirl94 said: I wanted him to know it was a lie. This is the part where you can do some work on yourself. He was unworthy yet you were still seeking his validation (that he knows you're not 'bad'). Try to get yourself to a place where, when someone treats you poorly, you recognize the problem is with them rather than with you. Then you'll be less prone to seek validation from others. You'll get all the validation you need from the person who matters most... YOU! This is where empowerment comes from and the end of others making you jump through hoops to prove your worthy. You'll begin to attract better people to you, or at least see more quickly who doesn't deserve a place in your life. Meanwhile, dust yourself off. Breakups are hard, but you've got the rest of your life ahead of you with so many opportunities to meet great people. Don't waste too much time grieving the loss of a poor match. Put that energy into finding a better match. Good luck to you, Girlie! 2
d0nnivain Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 21 hours ago, Aussiegirl94 said: we have broken up This is for the best. He is not a good guy. Take some time to heal. Address whatever self esteem issues you have or developed as a result of him & then carry on with life. You will find a new BF who trusts you. Happy hunting.
Fletch Lives Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 He's going to have to grow up and realize he's not the first boyfriend you have had.Good luck with him finding a virgin.
BaileyB Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 On 1/31/2021 at 11:03 PM, Aussiegirl94 said: He said that he knows what guys are like and they will call me a slut(not that he thinks I am) But, that’s clearly what he thinks or this wouldn’t be an issue for him. He is clearly a very insecure man who cares more about what his friends “may” think than about you or your relationship. Its a big step from “my ex boyfriend was at the party” to “you are a slut and a hooker.” IF that’s really what he believes, which is appears to be, you don’t want this man in your life or your child’s life. I’m sorry this has happened to you. 1
Wiseman2 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 13 hours ago, Aussiegirl94 said: I believe he is taking all his anger out on me. End it. Delete and block him and all his people from All your social media and messaging apps. Don't be anyone's punching bag.
LynneVicious Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 Dear god. I think you dodged a huge bullet! Someone with a huge case of retroactive jealousy like that is no good. I’m glad you recognized your self worth and broke up. He sounds awful.
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