Jack Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Dear all, I would appreciate advise/opinion from all of you. I and she (Philippine Girl) fall in love 3 months back. I dont doubt her character but the problem is her online life on facebook and a game 8 ball pool. She have few friends on Facebook and few on pool game, they all send her love invitations almost every time they talk since many months. she show me sometimes, yesterday she show me a screen shot from her game, a man asking him "i love you baby" . Many times i asked her to stop playing or talking to them but she said she is not doing anything bad or not replying to them whenever they are expressing same wishes everyday. Now my concern is, I love a girl, and she is always there to all of them like a toy, i mean they come, play, call her baby and love and similar words and leave, and she is there for them every day to pass their time. even she dont reply them but she is their during games or few other talks. And i cant see this anymore, a girl which i want to keep higher than anyone, but whoever comes call her baby love u and go everyday, she played almost 200 games with that person and she says he every time say same words but she dont care. I would be thankful for everyone if please guide me what should i do here because i cant bear this kind of her style. thank you very much every one. Jack
elaine567 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 27 minutes ago, Jack said: i cant bear this kind of her style There is your answer. Walk away. This girl is not a girl you want and need in your life. Dating is about finding compatible people, it is not about finding someone and then trying to change them into the girl you really want. 2
Wiseman2 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Have you met in person? If it's just a gaming friend, there's no right or wrong. Either enjoy the game and other players, or if you have too much of a crush on her, join another gaming community. 2
SumGuy Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 3 hours ago, elaine567 said: There is your answer. Walk away. This girl is not a girl you want and need in your life. Dating is about finding compatible people, it is not about finding someone and then trying to change them into the girl you really want. This. You two are not right for each other it appears. From my perspective though based on what you wrote, you are getting overly and unjustifiably jealous. So I don't believe your reaction is "right" in that regard. 1
dramafreezone Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 6 hours ago, Jack said: Dear all, I would appreciate advise/opinion from all of you. I and she (Philippine Girl) fall in love 3 months back. I dont doubt her character but the problem is her online life on facebook and a game 8 ball pool. She have few friends on Facebook and few on pool game, they all send her love invitations almost every time they talk since many months. she show me sometimes, yesterday she show me a screen shot from her game, a man asking him "i love you baby" . Many times i asked her to stop playing or talking to them but she said she is not doing anything bad or not replying to them whenever they are expressing same wishes everyday. Now my concern is, I love a girl, and she is always there to all of them like a toy, i mean they come, play, call her baby and love and similar words and leave, and she is there for them every day to pass their time. even she dont reply them but she is their during games or few other talks. And i cant see this anymore, a girl which i want to keep higher than anyone, but whoever comes call her baby love u and go everyday, she played almost 200 games with that person and she says he every time say same words but she dont care. I would be thankful for everyone if please guide me what should i do here because i cant bear this kind of her style. thank you very much every one. Jack These men are validating her and boosting her ego, that's all. She's not interested in them. If she was thinking about doing something with these guys she wouldn't show you. Every woman likes attention from men, even men they have no intention of ever dating or seeing romantically. You showing jealousy over it is just going to highlight your own insecurity, and some women will keep poking at your insecurities the more you react. Are you even dating this person though, like in person? If not there's not really a lot to hold on to here. 2
Author Jack Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 thank you all. we had few meetings during my visit there, everything looks fine, i met her family, friends, cousins, i didnt feet anything wrong, but since her online style became a headache for me, You all are correct i feel jealous for no big reason, and my reactions are abnormal in this case, though in my practical life i am matured enough to handle every matter but i became so childish in this love relation. I also believe we cant and should not try to change to anyone what we want them to be. I am 33 years, having few past short term affairs, but this is my first experience to get emotionally too close to someone, I am man of the real world, what i think a facebook has no value when its comes to relationships, but she said she can leave me but cant leave facebook, i was just surprised that how it could be, while she is waiting to marry me ASAP.
elaine567 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 I guess she lives in the Philippines, and you don't, is that correct?
Author Jack Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 18 minutes ago, elaine567 said: I guess she lives in the Philippines, and you don't, is that correct? yes, i visit there and this all happened, she is in Manila, a well settled family, i dont think shes looking for a sugar daddy, nor i have a very rich background, she is 24yrs now.
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 Be very careful. She is showing you and telling you who she is. It is up to you to listen. Who exactly are all these guys are they under the impression she is marrying them too? Marriage is a big deal, you hardly know this woman. Be in no hurry to make it all legal. Know exactly what you are getting into. Many will expect the husband to finance the whole family... are you prepared for that? 1
Author Jack Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 6 hours ago, elaine567 said: Be very careful. She is showing you and telling you who she is. It is up to you to listen. Who exactly are all these guys are they under the impression she is marrying them too? Marriage is a big deal, you hardly know this woman. Be in no hurry to make it all legal. Know exactly what you are getting into. Many will expect the husband to finance the whole family... are you prepared for that? i belongs to and grown up in a bold advanced family, i understand very well who is not in online activities today, the most irritating thing is whenever we starts talks, few minutes later someone will come online and she will start responding there too and put me on hold, i met her in real so i didnt know her this part before leaving that city. now if i show her my anger then she will start crying or emotional hits like you dont trust me and so on. and when i say you can continue your time in onliners whole day but please when i am there then let us talk, i am busy, i cannot into chats whole day, then suddenly a stranger comes out of her and say i cannot leave facebook for you because i am not doing anything wrong there,,,,, i am totally confused. until now she never demand for anything, even she refused to accept my gifts whenever i want to buy for her in Manila, dont know really what is truth now,,,
Author Jack Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 4 minutes ago, Jack said: i belongs to and grown up in a bold advanced family, i understand very well who is not in online activities today, the most irritating thing is whenever we starts talks, few minutes later someone will come online and she will start responding there too and put me on hold, i met her in real so i didnt know her this part before leaving that city. now if i show her my anger then she will start crying or emotional hits like you dont trust me and so on. and when i say you can continue your time in onliners whole day but please when i am there then let us talk, i am busy, i cannot into chats whole day, then suddenly a stranger comes out of her and say i cannot leave facebook for you because i am not doing anything wrong there,,,,, i am totally confused. until now she never demand for anything, even she refused to accept my gifts whenever i want to buy for her in Manila, dont know really what is truth now,,, i am from south Africa, Living in UAE, having own but a very small business here, i cant say i am rich,
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 The truth is that her on line activities & the attention she gets from multiple men are more important to her then you are. You may think you love her but she says she loves any man who pays attention to her. 2
smackie9 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) As a person who plays on line...no matter what, there is always someone hitting on you. You ignore it...it's all one can do. Remember...online you are faceless, unknown, all they see is an avatar. they do not know who she is for real. She has a cute avatar, they just assume she's hot. If she was walking out on the street, she will get hit on. I got hit on, my friends get hit on...it's men, that's what they do...women can't control that, it's a reality we have to deal with. So telling her to stop playing that game is ridiculous. That won't stop every man from approaching her. Now it's one thing to "encourage" these men by responding...if she isn't doing that like she said, then what other people do is out of her control. I'm not sure about the control options in her game, but in the one I play you can mute other players chat. So maybe you can request that from her. Just me, it's just better to stay out of it. She's not interacting verbally with these people. It's something that happens in the majority of online games. what can you do? tell every GF you have that they better not play online games? Edited February 2, 2021 by smackie9 1
Author Jack Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 1 hour ago, smackie9 said: As a person who plays on line...no matter what, there is always someone hitting on you. You ignore it...it's all one can do. Remember...online you are faceless, unknown, all they see is an avatar. they do not know who she is for real. She has a cute avatar, they just assume she's hot. If she was walking out on the street, she will get hit on. I got hit on, my friends get hit on...it's men, that's what they do...women can't control that, it's a reality we have to deal with. So telling her to stop playing that game is ridiculous. That won't stop every man from approaching her. Now it's one thing to "encourage" these men by responding...if she isn't doing that like she said, then what other people do is out of her control. I'm not sure about the control options in her game, but in the one I play you can mute other players chat. So maybe you can request that from her. Just me, it's just better to stay out of it. She's not interacting verbally with these people. It's something that happens in the majority of online games. what can you do? tell every GF you have that they better not play online games? thank you for your time. infact the game is not an issue as you described, ok lets talk it here, 8 Ball pool game is connected through facebook, the facebook profile picture and name is displaying in the game, there is open chat option during the game, the thing is she is making screen shots and showing me that how people flirt with her, more than 10 peoples screen shots send me with their playful comments like hi hottie, hi baby will you marry me, how about a kiss after the game and similar stuff, and she is playing with them again and again and bring all of them to facebook, i think she is addicted of men attention, even shes not replying to them in the same way she is not stopping them either or not ignoring them. there is an option to play with thousands of online strangers , but when she play again and again with only those who only do flirting comments then what would you call it? OK i can even ignore this, lets say she is addicted and let her do, but when she knows i am here to talk to her and she tells me wait few minutes please a friend send game challenge,,, then what should i feel? now if the answer is that her addiction is important than me, then what she is waiting to marry me? and keep asking every day to come and lets get marry, even she decided the babies names also,,,,
smackie9 Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) well have you actually told her how you felt? What did she say about it? How long have you "dated" ? How much dating experience have you had? Edited February 2, 2021 by smackie9
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