Alpacalia Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 You still don't know much about this person, so maybe it's too premature to make conclusions, so maybe the best thing to do is see if he proposes another date. If he does, ask him to confirm the date and time then and there. 2 1
josedelamuerte Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 It pains me to see how everyone here is so quick to bury the guy, when we hardly know anything about him. She says they've been texting for weeks now, so I'd say he's fairly invested in this. Her text confirming the date could've gone unseen. Could be that something came up that weekend. He did offer to reschedule, providing several possible times the following week. Sounds like he might be a stand-up guy that everybody's quick to project their past romantic disappointments on. Just wondering - after a few weeks of texting, why aren't you talking on the phone? Not only do you get to enjoy the sound of each other's voices and the exhilaration of real-time communication, it also leaves much less room for miscommunications. I think texting confusion cost me alot of coulda-beens over the years. 3
peach302 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Uh, yeah, and that was his doing. He's not that excited about meeting you or he wouldn't have left it so long that it was "kinda last minute" and needed to reschedule. This was a very convenient "well, shucks, look at the time, better get going!"-type move. My guess is that he made plans to meet someone else instead and wanted a slick way to keep you on the back burner for next week in case the date doesn't go well. Don't bother. He's not as interested as you are and you haven't even met yet. Why does everyone always assume the person made a date on the Exact same day they were scheduled to meet another. There are seven days in a week.
peach302 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, josedelamuerte said: It pains me to see how everyone here is so quick to bury the guy, when we hardly know anything about him. She says they've been texting for weeks now, so I'd say he's fairly invested in this. Her text confirming the date could've gone unseen. Could be that something came up that weekend. He did offer to reschedule, providing several possible times the following week. Sounds like he might be a stand-up guy that everybody's quick to project their past romantic disappointments on. Just wondering - after a few weeks of texting, why aren't you talking on the phone? Not only do you get to enjoy the sound of each other's voices and the exhilaration of real-time communication, it also leaves much less room for miscommunications. I think texting confusion cost me alot of coulda-beens over the years. It's projection most definitely. Truth is no one knows what it could be with a 100% certainty as some are making out. Edited January 31, 2021 by peach302 3
Miss Spider Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) Nah, It’s not all that. It’s just that I don’t understand why you got to even bother with people that can’t plan a date or it’s difficult to plan a date. I’ve dated guys all throughout my 20s and guess what they could still plan dates just fine.(?) This guy is not a stand-up guy. I can tell you why right now. He is not considerate to strangers. . He this guy effed her whole Saturday without even a single thought or apology. He was planning a date and went so far as to vaguely asked her what she wanted to do on Saturday and then flaked and came back with some weird excuse... and she is the one to ask him when to reschedule? Wow. Okay, but I think if people would just get these clear signs and not waste time with people like this, they wouldn’t be disappointed. I mean I guess if the guy is really all that, one in a million, super special, give him the second chance ... but he’s just some dude that she’s talking to online. She doesn’t owe him anything when I’m sure there are seriously thousands of other stand up guys online that wouldn’t do that. Just don’t get this kind of logic at all, but op’s always have to find out... Edited January 31, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3
peach302 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 3 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Nah, It’s not all that. It’s just that I don’t understand why you got to even bother with people that can’t plan a date or it’s difficult to plan a date. I dated guys all throughout my 20s and guess what they could still plan dates just fine.(?) This guy is not a stand-up guy. I can tell you why right now. He is not considerate to strangers. . He this guy effed her whole Saturday without even a single thought or apology. He was planning a date and went so far as to vaguely asked her what she wanted to do on Saturday and then flaked and came back with some weird excuse... and she Hass to be the one to ask him out ? Wow. If people would just get these clear signs and not waste time with people like this, they wouldn’t be disappointed. I mean I guess if this guy the guy is really all that, one in a million, super special, give him the second chance, but he’s just some dude that she’s talking to online. She doesn’t owe him anything when I’m sure there are seriously thousands of other stand up guys online that wouldn’t do that. Just don’t get this kind of logic at all, but op’s always have to find out... He offered up some times for them to meet next week without her prompting. Personally i think she should see what happens and if he flakes again..stop keeping in touch completely. Sometimes things do come up as another poster said. I do agree though it was probably wrong of him to keep her hanging the whole day. 2
Miss Spider Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) Yea if a guy made me feel like there were plans for a date on a specific day, ask me to choose the place , I waited, possibly got ready, then he flaked out just saying “Yea I’m not sure what else to do” the day of, i’d not only be turned off, I’d be PRESSED I guess people are more easy going. I understand that she’s just a stranger online and he might be on the fence about the date , and that’s understandable, but he should have more consideration for another person. Hopefully it all works out though Edited January 31, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 2
SumGuy Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 35 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Yea if a guy made me feel like there were plans for a date on a specific day, ask me to choose the place , I waited, possibly got ready, then he flaked out just saying “Yea I’m not sure what else to do” the day of, i’d not only be turned off, I’d be PRESSED I guess people are more easy going. I understand that she’s just a stranger online and he might be on the fence about the date , and that’s understandable, but he should have more consideration for another person. Hopefully it all works out though Agree with this, and consider myself easy going. I'd be more miffed than pressed and just assume the interest is not really there, fair enough but don't be all passive about it...but wishy washy people are often that way. All I can think of otherwise is he is interested but he is playing some game/following some internet advice about being stand-offish to not seem to eager and increase her interest...foolish and can see that such games don't work. Given COVID and all, meeting such a guy would not be the hill I'd want to die on (figuratively, or literally if know people in high risk groups) 3
peach302 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 38 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Yea if a guy made me feel like there were plans for a date on a specific day, ask me to choose the place , I waited, possibly got ready, then he flaked out just saying “Yea I’m not sure what else to do” the day of, i’d not only be turned off, I’d be PRESSED I guess people are more easy going. I understand that she’s just a stranger online and he might be on the fence about the date , and that’s understandable, but he should have more consideration for another person. Hopefully it all works out though I usually give people two chances though. Thats me personally... because sometimes you never know what it could be. Obviously if it carries on like that...doesn't matter the reason..it wont be in the ops best interests to continue. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) @sushiandtacos This is your life & you are in charge of it. Every concern you raised about this date & rescheduling could have been avoided if you stopped sitting on your hands acting like this is 1950 & the man has all the power. When you have a date & especially a tentative date off OLD, you take the bull by the horns & confirm the date. Your time is too valuable to sit around & worry about some dithering guy you don't even know. Since you had this date planned since last Thursday, the idea that it was now "last minute" was utter nonsense & you would have done well to call him on that BS. In your shoes I would have said, "No it's not last minute. We talked about it on Thursday. If you are no longer interested tell me that, but don't do this." When you take better control of your own life, time & schedule you won't waste so much time being jerked around by non-committal scared rabbits who don't have the decency to treat somebody politely. Since this date has now been cancelled I'd write him off or at least not lift a finger to arrange a new date. He already proved too flaky & unreliable. Edited January 31, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Misprint 5
Author sushiandtacos Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Nah, It’s not all that. It’s just that I don’t understand why you got to even bother with people that can’t plan a date or it’s difficult to plan a date. I’ve dated guys all throughout my 20s and guess what they could still plan dates just fine.(?) This guy is not a stand-up guy. I can tell you why right now. He is not considerate to strangers. . He this guy effed her whole Saturday without even a single thought or apology. He was planning a date and went so far as to vaguely asked her what she wanted to do on Saturday and then flaked and came back with some weird excuse... and she is the one to ask him when to reschedule? Wow. Okay, but I think if people would just get these clear signs and not waste time with people like this, they wouldn’t be disappointed. I mean I guess if the guy is really all that, one in a million, super special, give him the second chance ... but he’s just some dude that she’s talking to online. She doesn’t owe him anything when I’m sure there are seriously thousands of other stand up guys online that wouldn’t do that. Just don’t get this kind of logic at all, but op’s always have to find out... Yeah I do have to admit I was expecting to do something or waiting for his text at least to confirm/ask. I was excited to meet him since I honestly didn't want to waste time texting all the time if i didn't see potential! But I'm for sure less interested in this guy after how he handled this and got asked for a facetime date tonight with another guy so gonna focus on that 6
Author sushiandtacos Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 48 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: @sushiandtacos This is your life & you are in charge of it. Every concern you raised about this date & rescheduling could have been avoided if you stopped sitting on your hands acting like this is 1950 & the man has all the power. When you have a date & especially a tentative date off OLD, you take the bull by the horns & confirm the date. Your time is too valuable to sit around & worry about some dithering guy you don't even know. Since you had this date planned since last Thursday, the idea that it was now "last minute" was utter nonsense & you would have done well to call him on that BS. In your shoes I would have said, "No it's not last minute. We talked about it on Thursday. If you are no longer interested tell me that, but don't do this." When you take better control of your own life, time & schedule you won't waste so much time being jerked around by non-committal scared rabbits who don't have the decency to treat somebody politely. Since this date has now been cancelled I'd write him off or at least not lift a finger to arrange a new date. He already proved too flaky & unreliable. Yes I could've texted him but I guess I didn't want to seem too eager or double text, but still learning everyday especially with this modern scape of dating but 1000% yes to your last point! He already raised a flag yesterday so I'm definitely not going to put effort into planning this hypothetical rescheduled date now (lol) until he shows me otherwise that he is capable, which I highly doubt at this point. But as @peach302 said time will tell!! 1
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 Just now, sushiandtacos said: I guess I didn't want to seem too eager or double text, To me double texting is a misnomer. Sending a text with a purpose -- to confirm a date so as to not waste your time -- shows that you have self confidence. It's not a sign of being clingy. Eager is OK. Overly eager is bad but self confidence is best. 3 3
peach302 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 10 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said: Yeah I do have to admit I was expecting to do something or waiting for his text at least to confirm/ask. I was excited to meet him since I honestly didn't want to waste time texting all the time if i didn't see potential! But I'm for sure less interested in this guy after how he handled this and got asked for a facetime date tonight with another guy so gonna focus on that Sushi!!! That's great you have another date lined up! Tell us how it went..what you thought of him etc 2
Author sushiandtacos Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, peach302 said: Sushi!!! That's great you have another date lined up! Tell us how it went..what you thought of him etc Ok will do!! 2
dramafreezone Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 20 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: Hey guys! I know there are probably a lot of threads about this but I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now, we've been texting back and forth for a good amount. On Wednesday, he suggested we do something this weekend and we agreed on today. He gave me options on what to do since it's been hard with the lockdown and everything. I chose one of the options he gave me on Thursday and haven't heard from him since? We were planning on doing something tonight... I already told myself I wasn't going to double text and ask him if we are still on for today because he would've texted if he wanted to still see me? Thanks! Hmm, generally I don't re-confirm dates, ONCE I SET THEM. After you messaged him last he should've said, great, we're on for ______, see you then, and then I would've left it at that. He didn't actually set the date in the first place. He's a fuddy duddy. 5
ExpatInItaly Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 6 hours ago, peach302 said: Why does everyone always assume the person made a date on the Exact same day they were scheduled to meet another. There are seven days in a week. Because many people reserve dates for the weekends when they tend to have more free time. 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 5 hours ago, sushiandtacos said: this hypothetical rescheduled date now (lol) until he shows me otherwise that he is capable, which I highly doubt at this point. Excellent. Bite the bullet and meet. Who knows...he may not be shy, just look like Godzilla in person. 2
Acacia98 Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 7 hours ago, d0nnivain said: @sushiandtacos This is your life & you are in charge of it. Every concern you raised about this date & rescheduling could have been avoided if you stopped sitting on your hands acting like this is 1950 & the man has all the power. When you have a date & especially a tentative date off OLD, you take the bull by the horns & confirm the date. Your time is too valuable to sit around & worry about some dithering guy you don't even know. Since you had this date planned since last Thursday, the idea that it was now "last minute" was utter nonsense & you would have done well to call him on that BS. In your shoes I would have said, "No it's not last minute. We talked about it on Thursday. If you are no longer interested tell me that, but don't do this." When you take better control of your own life, time & schedule you won't waste so much time being jerked around by non-committal scared rabbits who don't have the decency to treat somebody politely. Since this date has now been cancelled I'd write him off or at least not lift a finger to arrange a new date. He already proved too flaky & unreliable. This is basically what I was logging in to say. 2
Author sushiandtacos Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 So facetime went well with the other guy definitely interested in getting to know him more he was sweet!! 5
Miss Spider Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 (edited) Glad to hear... I think these type of people need to get their s*** together or miss out . Some of us already know. You snooze, you lose. You sleep, you weep. Boy, bye Edited February 2, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
StrongHands Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 Also, common courtesy and decency go a LONG way in the dating world 2
Author sushiandtacos Posted February 2, 2021 Author Posted February 2, 2021 Hey guys so the guy who was flaky when we were supposed to meet asked to get drinks tonight but isn't it such LATE NOTICE?! 1
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