Miss Spider Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 35 minutes ago, Versacehottie said: Oh wow, I didn't realize that you've been looking at it for 2 years. I thought it just started around the time you followed her. So I'd say for YOU and for your progress, it's already in a not good territory. It's keeping you stuck. And 100% the photo thing tends to make people more infatuated; it does not increase infatuation. Not to mention that people tend to put flattering stories and photos of themselves on social media so you aren't getting the full story really about what she is about----just building it more to the fantasy person you already have a crush on. Anyway, my advice still stands: start living your own life;, find someone to date that reciprocates your interest in her; and don't check out this one's social media (unfollow or mute), I believe you that she could be a special person. But what you need is a special person who is into you. Agree. I recently just read this thing that if you look at someone that you like it raises hormones in your brains that makes you more attached to them. The same thing if you even think about them, which is essentially what will happen if you look at them. So don’t look, balin. Follow some other hot Instagram chicks, you never know. 1
Versacehottie Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Agree. I recently just read this thing that if you look at someone that you like it raises hormones in your brains that makes you more attached to them. The same thing if you even think about them, which is essentially what will happen if you look at them. So don’t look, balin. Follow some other hot Instagram chicks, you never know. Yes it's totally true those type of studies, as well as the ones that have discovered we give MORE VALUE to people who we like the look of-regardless of what the real situation is. ie in this case that OP may not know her truly very well, only sees 1-2 sides of her/her life, as well as that she does not reciprocate his feelings. I would also say the OP may value the surrounding life that made him happy at that point in time. At a beloved bar, surrounded by people, including her, who increased his positive hormones & emotions, which then he transfers to HER. They can all be symbolic for what he really needs in his life or other things that he can do to increase his positive hormones & emotions. Like being around like-minded people, a social environment, a place where he feels understood & free to be who he is & admired or renewed because of it. Also I think you are in UK, OP, right? Pub life holds a lot more importance than other parts of the world there. So it can be really important to you cultural and imbedded in the way you socialize. And anyway the pandemic has had most of that shut down (i think, correct me if I'm wrong) so you could be "longing" for what you miss out on and reigniting it by placing a lot of those overall feelings into one person, who perhaps representing the most extraordinary or reaffirming part of that life for you. Like "if only I could have her as my girlfriend, everything would be perfect". I do think she's about so much more than her job and you don't even know her outside of work. Also it helps most bartenders to be nice to patrons so they make good tips. I've seen ones that really enjoy it, so it's not like they are being fake nice but it is part of their work persona and they "get" something from it (it's almost like a power of course). And then of course there are ones who are nice because it has a direct correlation with what goes in their pocket. I'm wondering why not meet people to date in other ways as well as just bars? Definitely don't want to be the guy who posts up right as soon as the bar opens and doesn't move, having drink after drink. That's not going to draw good women toward you IMO. And if that's the lifestyle that drew you to her, it could be why you are overvaluing those interactions. Good luck Edited January 31, 2021 by Versacehottie 2
Author balin Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 1 hour ago, Versacehottie said: I would also say the OP may value the surrounding life that made him happy at that point in time. At a beloved bar, surrounded by people, including her, who increased his positive hormones & emotions, which then he transfers to HER. They can all be symbolic for what he really needs in his life or other things that he can do to increase his positive hormones & emotions. That is so perceptive and amazing. She just liked a photo I uploaded. Hang right back for like, 200 maybe 300 years lol. Aaaah, 2
Author balin Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) i am feeling something a Yes V, I didn't even know the concept but I projected my feelings onto her thinikng ,"Hey (oh yio are amazing) onto her yup, ///definitey. 1 hour ago, balin said: Ireland He V your suggestion worked. Er how to do insta. I like it that I have one photo o Edited January 31, 2021 by balin Not such sence 2
Miss Spider Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) Well if you’re anything like me, Balin, your Instagram tries to make it look like you have some semblance of a life. I mean there is social distancing dining with friends, movie night, in between a seemingly exciting New Years eve party and some pretty winter walks with my dog... But it’s all a big façade. If they knew the truth, 98%of my life is spent on loveshack, twiddling my thumbs, contemplating the point of existence. So agree with V that Instagram can be deceiving Edited February 1, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes 3
Miss Spider Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 6 hours ago, balin said: i am feeling something a Yes V, I didn't even know the concept but I projected my feelings onto her thinikng ,"Hey (oh yio are amazing) onto her yup, ///definitey. He V your suggestion worked. Er how to do insta. I like it that I have one photo o ¿01010111? 2
Author balin Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 If I find myself fantasising and filling in the future I will mute and/or leave Insta altogether. Thanks! 1
josedelamuerte Posted February 1, 2021 Posted February 1, 2021 1 minute ago, balin said: If I find myself fantasising and filling in the future I will mute and/or leave Insta altogether. Thanks! Why wait. Do it now. Read Jaron Lanier's "Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now". 1
Author balin Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) 53 minutes ago, josedelamuerte said: Why wait. Do it now. I do very much like her general vibe and have missed it. I think I have fully accepted that nothing romantic will happen and would like to keep her somewhere in my life, if I can handle it. I will OLD in the meantime. Edited February 1, 2021 by balin
Author balin Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 If I start feeling pain I'll bail.
LynneVicious Posted February 2, 2021 Posted February 2, 2021 I think you’ll just be setting yourself up for more hurt feelings and over analyzing. It’s best to unfollow her ig and put it behind you. Always move forward, never back. This small thing can keep you from moving your life forward, if combined with other things.
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