missingj Posted October 15, 2005 Posted October 15, 2005 Hi everyone. This is my first post here, I was searching the internet and found this site hoping it may help as I think I've driven my friends crazy the past 2 months! Anyway, I was with my ex for 4 years and we broke up about 2 months ago, his decision. I have since moved back home and have awesome family and friends to help me through this. We broke up because he was unsure of his feelings for me and this is day 12 of no contact. The past month I have done stupid things like phoning him while I was drunk asking him to take me back ect. He has been phoning me too until I asked for n/c. He came back home a couple of weekends ago to drop my stuff off and go to a friends party. That night he phoned me at 3am wanting to 'catch up', I told him I was in bed and offered to drop him home. He said that wasn't a good idea as he wasn't sure if he could control himself around me. I then went out the next night and phoned him he then decided it wasn't a good idea for us to speak until we were over each other (sound familiar?!). Everytime I ask him if he thinks we'll get back together its always 'i dont know' or 'probably not but im not sure'. So basically Im very confused, he seems to say one thing and then do another. He knows I still want to be with him but I think he likes to string me along and im pretty sick of it. How can i stop this man influencing the way i live my life now when he isn't in it?
JohnJohn Posted October 15, 2005 Posted October 15, 2005 How can i stop this man influencing the way i live my life now when he isn't in it? I am fairly new on here as well and have found it to be a great resource. I would say in your situation that since he knows you want him back that he knows he has power over you. He can set you aside if he wants and then "reel" you back in if he chooses. Don't let him do this or you will forever frustrate yourself. Do you really want him back? If so, I would suggest a long talk with him and set some boundaries and express your needs and see if he is willing to meet them. Don't be too available for him to contact you. Let him know that you have other priorities and will not sit around and wait for him. And in the meantime, take care of yourself.
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