MihiranCG Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 13 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I’m into communication and apologizing when I’m wrong too. But you didn’t do anything wrong and you shouldn’t have apologized Yes!!, i have same feeling about this so, there is no sense ,get apologize
Caauug Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 (edited) On 1/25/2021 at 10:45 PM, notyouraveragebabe said: It was a great 4 weeks. I felt like we fell for each other fast. It was him that made all the moves. Someone once told me, if you can easily fall in love, then you can easily fall out of love. Ok, he was doing all the chasing, you were enjoying the attention. IMO this is very important. On 1/26/2021 at 3:05 PM, CollinW said: I'm not saying either one of you are "less than a (wo)man" due to your reactions. But just like someone said earlier, early stages of dating people at least attempt to accommodate people's feelings and put up facades. It's not about sex, from a man's perspective if you're that brash to flat out tell him you don't want to be bothered with him after 4 weeks, how will you act when you really are tired of his ass? [redacted] [redacted] 21 hours ago, winny said: [deleted] [redacted] PS: They both dodged the bullet..... OP, Better luck next time, he wasn't "the one" for you. Edited January 29, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Off topic 2 1
elaine567 Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 Had they both expected he was coming over to cook dinner, then he had said once he arrived, "I can't cook tonight I have cut my hand badly", would it then be appropriate for her to go cold, and then arrange to go work out at 6am as she hadn't scheduled seeing him Saturday morning and then ghosting him after he apologised for not being able to cook... I doubt anyone would think that OK OK he was disappointed, OK he maybe felt rejected, why? God knows?, menstruation happens... but his pouty, entitled behaviour is not acceptable on any level. 2
introverted1 Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: Had they both expected he was coming over to cook dinner, then he had said once he arrived, "I can't cook tonight I have cut my hand badly", would it then be appropriate for her to go cold, and then arrange to go work out at 6am as she hadn't scheduled seeing him Saturday morning and then ghosting him after he apologised for not being able to cook... I doubt anyone would think that OK OK he was disappointed, OK he maybe felt rejected, why? God knows?, menstruation happens... but his pouty, entitled behaviour is not acceptable on any level. If he was supposed to cook and then couldn't, I'd expect him to pay for carry out. 2 1
poppyfields Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 (edited) His behaviour in response certainly wasn't kind, and one could argue ghosting her after a month was wrong, but the bottom line is the guy simply didn't give a crap. If he did, his response would have been different. More understanding, not as self-centered. We all have the "right" to leave a relationship whenever we want, however we want, and for whatever reasons we want, there is no "owing" as far as I'm concerned. And the recipient of that (the OP) has the right to react however she wants. Hurt, angry. Turned off, whatever. Here, guy didn't give a crap and whether he felt rejected or not, her not wanting sex was enough for him to want whatever they had to be over. Agree, the way he chose to handle that was crappy, but still his right. And like I said, if he gave a *, his response would most likely have been quite different. That's what I would be focusing on. Not how "inappropriate" his reaction was, but that he simply did not care. Next. I'm sorry. Edited January 29, 2021 by poppyfields 3 1
Acacia98 Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 On 1/26/2021 at 11:42 PM, CollinW said: There is a way to do things like that and you did it the wrong way. Look at it this way. If you called a man who was busy and he said "I'm not in the mood to talk to you", how would you take it? Would you be a "real woman" and comfort him as you said? Or would you question his character due to the lack of tact in how he communicates? You're obviously not addressing me, but if you were, this would be my response: If I called a guy I was dating and he said he wasn't in the mood to talk because he had a headache or abdominal pain (that's a fairer analogy), I'd assume he was being blunt because he was in a lot of pain and didn't have the capacity to communicate in a fancier way. Pain impacts the way people communicate. But even if physical pain was not a factor, my response to someone I cared about saying they weren't in the mood would be concern: "What's wrong? Did you have a bad day?" It wouldn't be "Your character is flawed." I just can't bring myself to see how her words could be offensive. Unless of course, he's very sensitive about how he's perceived and thought she was implying that he was only interested in sex. But the funny thing is that by reacting the way he did, he gave the impression that he was only interested in sex. But I do think I should pause there and ask you: do you have any idea how difficult periods can be for some women? I mean, I'm talking about symptoms like cramps, headaches, pain all over the body, exhaustion, diarrhea. I have no idea how bad OP felt. Presumably, he didn't know either. But that's kind of the point, you know? When you don't know how much pain or discomfort someone you've been spending time with is in, you do what you can to find out and try to make them feel comfortable. He's under no obligation to date her, of course. And I think he actually did her a favor by reacting how he did when he did, because it showed her he was low on empathy before she had invested too much. Most people want to date somebody who's empathetic. 4
Alpacalia Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 38 minutes ago, poppyfields said: His behaviour in response certainly wasn't kind, and one could argue ghosting her after a month was wrong, but the bottom line is the guy simply didn't give a crap. If he did, his response would have been different. More understanding, not as self-centered. We all have the "right" to leave a relationship whenever we want, however we want, and for whatever reasons we want, there is no "owing" as far as I'm concerned. And the recipient of that (the OP) has the right to react however she wants. Hurt, angry. Turned off, whatever. Here, guy didn't give a crap and whether he felt rejected or not, her not wanting sex was enough for him to want whatever they had to be over. Agree, the way he chose to handle that was crappy, but still his right. And like I said, if he gave a *, his response would most likely have been quite different. That's what I would be focusing on. Not how "inappropriate" his reaction was, but that he simply did not care. Next. I'm sorry. Couldn't have said it any better. He simply just didn't give a hoot. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted January 29, 2021 Posted January 29, 2021 (edited) Interested in men don’t. Just some people find it very hard to tell when people are not that into them. So the wiggle room allows them to put up with all kinds of chitty behavior.. Until the person either ignores them or straight up tells them to go away. And almost no one is going to tell someone to go away unless they really have to ...and especially someone that is essentially a quarantine booty...bc that is mean and shooting yourself in the foot a bit. Might want to come back later. And I suspect he will Edited January 29, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 (edited) On 1/29/2021 at 9:50 AM, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Interested in men don’t. Just some people find it very hard to tell when people are not that into them. So the wiggle room allows them to put up with all kinds of chitty behavior.. Until the person either ignores them or straight up tells them to go away. And almost no one is going to tell someone to go away unless they really have to ...and especially someone that is essentially a quarantine booty...bc that is mean and shooting yourself in the foot a bit. Might want to come back later. And I suspect he will He won’t be back, cus I won’t allow it. I’m over him and that entire situationship. I had a great time, but for him to ghost me, says a lot about his character. Yes, I rejected sex/him. I don’t owe him crap. I wasn’t feeling well. If he can’t understand something as simple as that, then he won’t be able to grasp a more complex situation. I dodged a bullet early. I can see why he’s single. Good luck to him! And for those who said it was my delivery or whatever- well that’s who I am and I speak my mind. If he doesn’t like someone who’s so “blunt” then clearly we are not for each other. Dating is finding out if we are compatible, and we knew 4 weeks in that we aren’t compatible. That’s ok! What’s not ok, is him ghosting me. Communicate, be a man! I don’t need his closure, my closure is - I don’t want him and thank you for not wasting anymore of my time. He’s an attractive guy; I’m sure he will find someone for him & I will too. Edited February 1, 2021 by notyouraveragebabe
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted February 1, 2021 Author Posted February 1, 2021 On 1/29/2021 at 7:06 AM, poppyfields said: His behaviour in response certainly wasn't kind, and one could argue ghosting her after a month was wrong, but the bottom line is the guy simply didn't give a crap. If he did, his response would have been different. More understanding, not as self-centered. We all have the "right" to leave a relationship whenever we want, however we want, and for whatever reasons we want, there is no "owing" as far as I'm concerned. And the recipient of that (the OP) has the right to react however she wants. Hurt, angry. Turned off, whatever. Here, guy didn't give a crap and whether he felt rejected or not, her not wanting sex was enough for him to want whatever they had to be over. Agree, the way he chose to handle that was crappy, but still his right. And like I said, if he gave a *, his response would most likely have been quite different. That's what I would be focusing on. Not how "inappropriate" his reaction was, but that he simply did not care. Next. I'm sorry. Agreed!!! I was so hurt, but the real focus here is, I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me!!!
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