Pookie1 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 I’ve known my boss for two years and it’s just us who worked together initially starting up a pop up gift shop. I felt he had feelings for me but he never asked me out so I went dating someone else. during this time my Mum was dying from a cancer and to say the least it’s been super stressful with the grief process.I also lost my dad to cancer shortly after my mum was diagnosed. so my bosses Mum asked me for coffee one day and asked if my boss had a new girlfriend, I said I didn’t know , he just does the deliveries. She said he seems happier. She asked if I was dating and I said yes but I’m not sure about the guy I’m dating. After that covid hit and my boss said he can’t afford to keep the shop so I found a new job. I thought about him often and missed him at times and sent him a face book request but he never replied. I lost the new job as I had to home school. My boss saved the pop up shop and moved to a bigger shop. We had a few texts about tax and so forth and I said I’ll come and see the new shop soon as he asked if I had been into the new shop. a month after I went into the new pop up shop and the girl working there asked me if I wanted some hours and to text my boss. My boss text me anyway later that day before I did and I said I’m available just let me know when to come in. two days later he text his dad died today and please come into work tomorrow so I did with my heart racing and all my grief triggered in a loop. we worked together settling me in and he sung standing right next to me with the radio... the only words ... “I love you” I just ignored it but smiled as what do you do or say when it’s just singing...? he had the funeral this week and I’ve been filled with so much emotion, probably more my own loss and loneliness. I’m having a very deep attraction to him and I’m not usually like this emotionally. Now we are both in grief mode and I don’t know how to handle or what to make of it. People often ask if he’s my partner or refers him as my husband. People are curious. I feel very emotional atm. I just want to hug him but he’s my boss. his mum came in today to see me and said sorry for the loss of my mum and I said I’m sorry for the loss of her husband and I hugged her. We have gotten on well in the past. I didn’t tell my boss my mum died but they must have found out somehow. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 I am so sorry for all of your losses. While he's your boss & both of you are grieving, starting anything is a bad plan. I don't think he fancies you because if he did he would have made a move while you weren't working for him. 1
smackie9 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 Now is not the time. You got to let all this grieving go through it's process. Maybe by next fall when all is settle emotionally things will take their natural course. All it takes is an invite for a drink after work, or meeting up for coffee as friends to start the ball rolling. 1
amygirl908 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 I agree... this is just such bad timing and the feelings could end up being superficial given the amount of grief you're both dealing with at the moment. I know it sucks, but don't set yourself up for failure. If the feelings are still there at a later date it might be something to consider then. 1
Author Pookie1 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 13 hours ago, d0nnivain said: I am so sorry for all of your losses. While he's your boss & both of you are grieving, starting anything is a bad plan. I don't think he fancies you because if he did he would have made a move while you weren't working for him. I agree, he may have thought I was still dating the other guy, but to end it all... he would have made a move if he really wanted me at any given time. I think I’m full of empathy atm and messy emotional. I think he flirts with me and shouldn’t if he’s not genuine. I’m on my own roller coaster
Author Pookie1 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 11 hours ago, smackie9 said: Now is not the time. You got to let all this grieving go through it's process. Maybe by next fall when all is settle emotionally things will take their natural course. All it takes is an invite for a drink after work, or meeting up for coffee as friends to start the ball rolling. I was thinking of asking him but I don’t think so, the man should initiate. If it happens it can happen in its own time. And I agree, now is NOT the time...
Author Pookie1 Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 10 hours ago, amygirl908 said: I agree... this is just such bad timing and the feelings could end up being superficial given the amount of grief you're both dealing with at the moment. I know it sucks, but don't set yourself up for failure. If the feelings are still there at a later date it might be something to consider then. I think so... I think we were both attracted when we first met. It doesn’t mean anything but an attraction. I think it will always be there.
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