ThatDude76 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 Good afternoon, I have been using online dating apps recently, and have matched and chatted with some great people. However I have become oddly smitten with one in particular. But, I am concerned she does not see me the same way. We have not yet met, its hard to ask a woman out on a date when everything is closed ( covid restrictions in my area cant even get a coffee or lunch inside, take-out only ). We have had a few phone calls and video chats though. However I asked her if this weekend we could figure something out, and if she was willing to meet up with me. She said she would, but only after her final exams are done ( shes still in school ). She said shes busy with her exams and work, and would be free after the 28th of January. I understand being busy, and we have never met so obviously she has priorities. However I feel if we did have a connection, or if she was excited about meeting me, she would find time. Your thoughts? Am I off base with my assumption?
dramafreezone Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 37 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: Good afternoon, I have been using online dating apps recently, and have matched and chatted with some great people. However I have become oddly smitten with one in particular. But, I am concerned she does not see me the same way. We have not yet met, its hard to ask a woman out on a date when everything is closed ( covid restrictions in my area cant even get a coffee or lunch inside, take-out only ). We have had a few phone calls and video chats though. However I asked her if this weekend we could figure something out, and if she was willing to meet up with me. She said she would, but only after her final exams are done ( shes still in school ). She said shes busy with her exams and work, and would be free after the 28th of January. I understand being busy, and we have never met so obviously she has priorities. However I feel if we did have a connection, or if she was excited about meeting me, she would find time. Your thoughts? Am I off base with my assumption? You're mostly right. If she were highly attracted to you, she would find time. For whoever doesn't think so, just ask yourself if your Hollywood Crush asked you out would you say you're busy with finals? You'd SKIP finals if you had the chance to go out with that person. So it's all about her attraction level. It's minimal at this point. That said, the vast majority of women that you date will be like her, on the fence. It doesn't mean that you won't eventually meet, but they're not going to make you a priority. It's not your fault and it's not her fault. The thing is, don't spend so much time talking on the phone and set the date quickly after meeting online. Move as quickly as possible from meeting to setting the date. Many young women have a ton of options so if you're a 5 on a scale of 1-10 with her, she meets a 5.5 next week and then she's putting that guy ahead of you. It doesn't take much for her to flake or just to decide not to engage anymore. You have to be decisive and set the date quickly. Don't ask her if we can figure something out, you have a plan and ask her when she's free. Or ask her when she's free and then tell her you'll get back to her shortly with a date plan. But you have to make the plans. That might actually distinguish you from those other guys that were dragging their feet about asking her out. Edited January 21, 2021 by dramafreezone
princessaurora Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 January 28th is not that far off. It's not like she told you she wasn't free till Easter. It's a little over a week, so relax and reach out after the 28th. Studying for finals is a stressful time and she needs to have complete focus. This is her future we're talking about. When I was studying for finals I stayed away from my boyfriends because it was too much of a distraction. And then she has work too, so that doesn't leave time for anything else, especially meeting up with a stranger. I wouldn't take this as a brush off unless she comes up with another excuse after the 28th. It'll be a much better meetup when she doesn't have the stress of school weighing on her shoulders,so just be patient. 1 1
Miss Spider Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) Did you schedule a date for after exam? When someone is into you, there’s typically not much question about it. I am sorry to report that you may just be a part-time, cam and chat when bored lover/distraction. Try to nail that date for after the 28th. If she dodges it again, next her Edited January 21, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes
amygirl908 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 51 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said: Good afternoon, I have been using online dating apps recently, and have matched and chatted with some great people. However I have become oddly smitten with one in particular. But, I am concerned she does not see me the same way. We have not yet met, its hard to ask a woman out on a date when everything is closed ( covid restrictions in my area cant even get a coffee or lunch inside, take-out only ). We have had a few phone calls and video chats though. However I asked her if this weekend we could figure something out, and if she was willing to meet up with me. She said she would, but only after her final exams are done ( shes still in school ). She said shes busy with her exams and work, and would be free after the 28th of January. I understand being busy, and we have never met so obviously she has priorities. However I feel if we did have a connection, or if she was excited about meeting me, she would find time. Your thoughts? Am I off base with my assumption? I agree with @princessaurora. The 28th is not far off. She could be putting you on the backburner but I find it pretty admirable that she wants to set the boundary that school is a priority as it should be. I pissed away my time at college and I should have been more diligent with my studies. I wouldn't read too much into it. Now if she's still beating around the bush after her exams that's a problem. It's only 7 more days until the 28th and it sounds like you really like her so just see what ends up happening Good luck! and let us know!! Edited January 21, 2021 by amygirl908 2
dramafreezone Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 Another thing OP, you asked her out on a weekend. If this is a young woman that has a lot of options, it's likely that her weekend was already taken. She's not going to tell you this. Saturdays are for prime time dating. You're not going to get that slot right off the bat unless you knock her socks off, which you would've known by her enthusiasm. Schedule for a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. I think that'll give you the best chance of actually going out with her.
Author ThatDude76 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 6 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Another thing OP, you asked her out on a weekend. If this is a young woman that has a lot of options, it's likely that her weekend was already taken. She's not going to tell you this. Saturdays are for prime time dating. You're not going to get that slot right off the bat unless you knock her socks off, which you would've known by her enthusiasm. Schedule for a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. I think that'll give you the best chance of actually going out with her. I generally agree with what you are saying, and if that's the case and she isn't into me at all, I'm cool with that. I think im gonna make a plan/date for when she says she will be free, ask her and she what she says, then go from there. 1
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 It's only a week away....Thursday is ok...that will give you a chance to ask her out for a date on Saturday if things go well. 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 1 hour ago, ThatDude76 said: She said shes busy with her exams and work, and would be free after the 28th of January. Not unreasonable. Stay in touch lightly and reconfirm after that date.
peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 11 hours ago, ThatDude76 said: Good afternoon, I have been using online dating apps recently, and have matched and chatted with some great people. However I have become oddly smitten with one in particular. But, I am concerned she does not see me the same way. We have not yet met, its hard to ask a woman out on a date when everything is closed ( covid restrictions in my area cant even get a coffee or lunch inside, take-out only ). We have had a few phone calls and video chats though. However I asked her if this weekend we could figure something out, and if she was willing to meet up with me. She said she would, but only after her final exams are done ( shes still in school ). She said shes busy with her exams and work, and would be free after the 28th of January. I understand being busy, and we have never met so obviously she has priorities. However I feel if we did have a connection, or if she was excited about meeting me, she would find time. Your thoughts? Am I off base with my assumption? Personally i think you're being insecure and its perfectly fine what she said. So yeah just set a date
ShyViolet Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 She told you that she will have time after the 28th of January. So why don't you schedule a date for after the 28th of January. I don't understand what the problem is.
Author ThatDude76 Posted January 31, 2021 Author Posted January 31, 2021 So we ended up going on a date tonight! She actually was the one that asked me out after her exams were done. It went really well :) She asked if she could kiss me during our time out, and of course I obliged. Looks like I was being a bit insecure I suppose. Thanks everyone! 9
Miss Spider Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 That’s awesome. Glad the date went well “. 4
dramafreezone Posted January 31, 2021 Posted January 31, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, ThatDude76 said: So we ended up going on a date tonight! She actually was the one that asked me out after her exams were done. It went really well She asked if she could kiss me during our time out, and of course I obliged. Looks like I was being a bit insecure I suppose. Thanks everyone! Wow, I was wrong on that one, AND she met you on a Saturday. She must really like you. I can be a bit cynical at times. Good for you! Edited January 31, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
princessaurora Posted February 3, 2021 Posted February 3, 2021 Yay! So happy everything went well and she even initiated a kiss. I figured she needed that time to study. This girl knows what she wants and she's not afraid to show it. I like her style. Keep us posted 1
Author ThatDude76 Posted February 3, 2021 Author Posted February 3, 2021 14 hours ago, princessaurora said: Yay! So happy everything went well and she even initiated a kiss. I figured she needed that time to study. This girl knows what she wants and she's not afraid to show it. I like her style. Keep us posted I like her style to . She is very intelligent and is focused on her studies, its admirable. Last night, over the phone, she invited me over to her apartment this weekend for some wine. I am excited but also nervous 1
Fletch Lives Posted February 3, 2021 Posted February 3, 2021 Good job! It's nice to hear something going right around here! 3 1
princessaurora Posted February 3, 2021 Posted February 3, 2021 3 hours ago, ThatDude76 said: I like her style to . She is very intelligent and is focused on her studies, its admirable. Last night, over the phone, she invited me over to her apartment this weekend for some wine. I am excited but also nervous Yeah, she's definitely a take charge kind of girl, but that's great because you don't have to try to figure out if she's into you or not. She's invited you to her place, so she must really like and trust you. Just be prepared because you know what being invited to someone's house to drink wine is often code for. But then, again, maybe she really just wants to drink wine and hang out. I guess you'll find out this weekend. Hope y'all have a great time:)
dramafreezone Posted February 4, 2021 Posted February 4, 2021 8 hours ago, ThatDude76 said: I like her style to . She is very intelligent and is focused on her studies, its admirable. Last night, over the phone, she invited me over to her apartment this weekend for some wine. I am excited but also nervous Yes, she really likes you. Sounds like she wants to relieve some stress. Just don't say something stupid to talk her out of it. 1
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