stillafool Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 4 minutes ago, marvellous_merlot said: Other than putting someone in hospital with his reckless driving, cheating on his ex-girlfriend, lying to his employer, lying to me, deceiving his own family, making his friends worry for their teenage daughters and taking advantage of vulnerable women, he is a top notch guy. You have a good sense of humor. 3 1
Ellener Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 7 hours ago, marvellous_merlot said: I can't really bring myself to tell the full details of the joke, but it had to do with my boyfriend's friend's teenage daughters and their use of the internet. In particular, whether young girls are safer on the internet now that my boyfriend is "off the market". Disgusting. That's not consenting adults, that's pedophilia. The main question here after you detail what a terrible person he is- why are you with him? Are you asking for adviceon how to break up with someone? 1
peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 On 1/20/2021 at 7:28 PM, marvellous_merlot said: So it turns out that the sweet, caring, funny and intelligent guy I've been dating for six months actually turns out to be a total creep. I am 38, he is 44. The other day, one of my boyfriend's friends came out with a really weird and creepy inside joke. The joke made no sense whatsoever to me. I confronted my boyfriend about the implication of the joke and some five hundred skeletons came tumbling out of the wardrobe... First of all, apparently my boyfriend has been using sex workers in the past. Prostitutes and dominatrixes. In his view, this is completely normal, moral and fine, because they are "exclusive" sex workers. (Never mind it being illegal, apparently!) He can barely afford a place to live, yet he happily spends £350 on an "appointment" with some sex worker?! Next thing he tells me, apparently he used to date a prostitute at one point but he didn't dare introducing her to his friends and family because he was "ashamed" of her. (What a man! Hiding his girlfriend away from his family and friends because of her profession...) And then, as it turns out, apparently he is still creating and running the business websites for all of these various sex workers and escorts that he has been seeing. What in the actual...? As if that wasn't enough, it turns out that he has been perving over the half-naked photos of teenager models and female colleagues on Instagram. Apparently, he used to prowl for young girls on Instagram and on dating sites. Before he met me, he used to date/screw very young women (less than half his age), leading them on for a couple of weeks and then ditching them after introducing them to BDSM. In his late thirties, he apparently even had a long term relationship with an underage girl. This confession led to us discussing his previous relationships and this is when he lets slip that his most recent ex had to call the police to make him actually leave her house. And, apparently he is still keeping tabs on his ex through the dog walker that walks his ex's dogs...?! It also turns out that he has been arrested at one point due to reckless driving. What is worse, he is a named driver on my car insurance, which could have been invalidated seeing as he didn't tell me about this when we added him to my insurance policy. All of this came tumbling out in a 30 minute conversation after asking him about what his friend meant with that joke. When I asked him what on Earth was going through his mind in doing all this bizarre stuff, his excuse is that he "can't remember" and/or he "has no idea why he did it". If you're going to be such a thoroughbred creep, then least stand for your actions, right?! This guy has a professional job in the public eye. He manages people and is the Safeguarding Officer at his place of work, responsible for filtering content and protecting female colleagues against sexual harassment. Speak of having a fox in the henhouse... the hypocrisy of it all is astounding. I should run, right? I'm disgusted, shocked, horrified, heartbroken, hurt and angry. He seems to think that I "should just get over it" and that it is his "private business" because it is "in the past". I don't care if it is "in the past", I just can't see past the creepiness, the misogyny, the hypocrisy, the dishonesty and the sheer disgustingness of his behaviour... Walk away asap 1
Author marvellous_merlot Posted January 22, 2021 Author Posted January 22, 2021 Dumped him. Thank you all for your supportive responses. He nearly had me believing that I "shouldn't judge" him on "things that happened in the past". I think I probably should... Thank you all again. 4 1
kendahke Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 (edited) Change everything that gives him access to you---shut him out. Get him off your insurance. Don't bother with trying to get back at him by outting him--he will catch himself up in that dragnet. Edited January 23, 2021 by kendahke 3
Datingsux Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 Sounds like a psychopath or sociopath. Am I the only one thinking this? 3
Sarah_Smiles Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 I don't think the bf is relationship material for you or anyone atm or possibly ever. Finding out all he hid from you for so long will probably make it difficult to trust him now...best to move on. *hugs* 1
Fletch Lives Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 Quote my boyfriend is a creep I have that beat. My ex was a dog! Well, this will all work out on it's own. You are turned off and will probably fall out of love with the guy in a few weeks and leave him.
Wiseman2 Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 35 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said: I have that beat. My ex was a dog! Not surprising at all 1
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