chillii Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 8 hours ago, fred123 said: no guys just to clear it up she did fly in to london but she came with her best friend. they stayed together in a hotel. trip ended badly she wasnt interested and ignored me the first night. but the signs beforehand now makes sense Oh , shyt , well that changes a lot of things never saw that or read the lot , strange that she's even talked about coming again then. Wouldn't hold my breath mate .
elaine567 Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 (edited) She was just coming to London, she was not coming to London to meet you. Your input was no longer needed basically as soon as she booked the flight. Everything stopped after that. She changed her mind about you. You were so carried away with the dream, you forgot to look at the reality. You were her online penpal, nothing more and not even that latterly. She didn't even want to video call you. She became cold and distant and "busy". She no doubt felt obliged to meet you in London, but a meet was it, you had expectations of more but that was not in her plan. She was also 19, her feelings will have changed like the wind. Edited January 18, 2021 by elaine567 1
littleblackheart Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 On 1/17/2021 at 3:45 AM, fred123 said: My story was years ago How long ago was it?
ExpatInItaly Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 11 hours ago, fred123 said: yes of course. so many sucxessful stories though Are there really? I have to say that in real life, I can't name even one couple that has met this way and wound up together forever. I know those couples exist, yes, but it's not anywhere near as commonplace as you seem to believe it is.
littleblackheart Posted January 18, 2021 Posted January 18, 2021 (edited) I don't think meeting that way is that rare. Some peer-reviewed research is starting to emerge on establishing those 'cognitive connections' online. The hyperpersonal effect in online dating: effects of text-based CMC vs. videoconferencing before meeting face-to-face Romance in Cyberspace: Understanding Online Attraction I know it's possible to meet online in that way, build up a cognitive connection that can become emotional with time, then move to phone and video chats just before meeting in person. No meeting before a phone call and a video chat, though. That would be unwise, for obvious reasons. These things don't always work as demonstrated in the thread, but you do get to know someone quite well in that way, as long as they are transparent with you. You can still pull out at any time if you don't feel it anymore, and you need to go in without expectations, but the feelings are real. It's just a different way of meeting people. You can also form online friendships in that way. In Fred's case, it seems the girl wasn't as keen as she let on in the end. Maybe she didn't want to hurt your feelings Fred, by telling you she had lost the attraction for whatever reason. It was years ago though so probably time to move past it either way. Edited January 18, 2021 by littleblackheart
Author fred123 Posted January 18, 2021 Author Posted January 18, 2021 15 hours ago, BaileyB said: If I was her friend and we travelled to London together, I’d be less than happy if my friend left me to go and spend time with a man she had never met. So no, I wouldn’t find that strange at all. she was travelling to see me and told her friend and her friend wnated to come. The purpose of the trip so she told me was to come see me
Author fred123 Posted January 18, 2021 Author Posted January 18, 2021 Hey so to answer some of the questions and show you certain things. yes Expat people have done this a lot more than you think. go on to reddit and you will see many stoies about never mets and meeting for the first time. People have met over gaming or chatrooms and flown to other places to meet. There are some stories on youtube. Also personally my best friend he has done it successfully 3 times. Two of my girl mates have done it also. One of them she flew to Venezuala to mee thim for a few weeks. The other girl i knew she sent me this to explain her story "Hey, I don't remember all the details anymore Fred, but before we met we were texting a lot. Only texting. I don't know who wanted to meet. I guess both of us. We had no place to go, because we were staying at our parents home, so we booked a hotel room half way between us. Sounds crazy. I wasn't worried cos it felt somehow familiar. We spent two months texting a lot. After we kept on texting. And that's it. Not so spectacular " So theres a few examples of it being a success. I can only assume thier build up was different to mine as it was successful and that the girls were interested in the guy. All these stories the girls met up with the guy by themselves (whether he flew there, or the girls flew or met half way). All stories they stayed together the moment they met just the two fo them and they all eneded up at somepoint in their trip getting intimate. This is completely different to how mine went. My girl was coming with a friend. she was coming to a city neither of us live. She wasnt staying with me. Her texting and communication died down as she "got busy" 2 weeks until meeting up. All of my friends stories communication was constant until the day of meeting.
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