fred123 Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 has anyone got any stories about chatting to someone online from another country or state and then eventually meeting? tell us your stories whether they were successful or not and how it transitioned from beginning to end. would love to hear from both sexes! 1
Keridan Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 I met a pretty cool girl online. She lived thousands of miles away, but she was smart and funny, and even pretty. However, this was a while ago. Being careful online was super important. We kept things friendly, but kept getting along. Eventually, she took a flight to see me. Things went really well. I took her on a date and we got along super well. So I took a flight to her and met her parents. I have loved this woman for 15 years now. We have been married 12 of them. It's not a fairy tale and nothing is perfect, but I wanted to share it. In my case, it was the best choice I have ever made. 4
Alpacalia Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 (edited) A relative met his now wife from another state through a dating app. They were matched accidentally but both had a shared hobby in common - I believe she eventually moved to his state and the rest is history. Edited January 10, 2021 by Alpaca 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 Are you specifically seeking out long distance? Or are you talking to someone long distance that you need to decide about?
Foxhall Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 met a lady in my own country back in 2013, she was on a two year visa at the time , I was quite taken with her and thus far anyway is the only woman I have asked to marry me! Anyway she turned me down and returned to her home country, I thought that would be the finish of our relationship but curiously we have remained in contact and developed more of a friendship or a stronger connection from long distance, skyping and texting, just purely friendship stuff like brother and sister. Surprisingly she still remains single, but I have met another lady now and hope to marry this current girlfriend, I guess if it does'nt work out or the current one gives me the boot, I would perhaps try again with the lady from 2013,
chillii Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, Foxhall said: met a lady in my own country back in 2013, she was on a two year visa at the time , I was quite taken with her and thus far anyway is the only woman I have asked to marry me! Anyway she turned me down and returned to her home country, I thought that would be the finish of our relationship but curiously we have remained in contact and developed more of a friendship or a stronger connection from long distance, skyping and texting, just purely friendship stuff like brother and sister. Surprisingly she still remains single, but I have met another lady now and hope to marry this current girlfriend, I guess if it does'nt work out or the current one gives me the boot, I would perhaps try again with the lady from 2013, Similar to my other situation that first one too. But to op yeah my lady now and l were talking 3mths before she came down . She was interstate and in an awkward situation so we waited until she could come to mine. We knew first ph call we had something really special and when she finally got off the plane l spotted her in 2 seconds 25mtrs from away among 400 other heads haha , and her me too even though she was the shorter one in the crowd and couldn't even see over everyone. Knew right there yessaa, now that's what l'm talkin about. Once we got out of the airport we still had a 3hr drive to my place , at night , but it was a beautiful trip and felt like we'd know each other yrs . Still rollin and marrying soon. Edited January 10, 2021 by chillii 1
Foxhall Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 13 hours ago, chillii said: Still rollin and marrying soon ah very good. nice outcome. 1
Author fred123 Posted January 14, 2021 Author Posted January 14, 2021 cool some nice success stories! did you guys just text or did you speak on the phone/video call before you guys met? and who decided about the meeting? who was travelling to whom and sleeping/staying arrangements? any sexual talk before the meet via text or phone? how were the conversations? im intrigued to know
chillii Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 (edited) Just speaking for my sitch but hell yeah we were talking everyday, and phoning and videoing whenever too. We got along very very well so that was only natural . As l said for us it worked out better she came to mine, stayed 6wks first trip. Edited January 14, 2021 by chillii
littleblackheart Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 A bad never met experience (absolutely no regret on not meeting, will never go back, book firmly closed forever), one 'in progress' hoping to meet post pandemic. Not keen on virtual dates or getting too invested until closer to the actual meeting (because of the first experience) but feeling very hopeful; all the ingredients are there for it to work. Just waiting on this pandemic to be over to put more concrete plans in place, including video calls. Will update when we do meet. 1
Fletch Lives Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 I had one long distance relationship. I knew I should not have, but it fell into my lap so to speak. It was short-lived but fantastic........we had our first, big kiss the first time we laid eyes on each other, the moment she opened the door. She drove partway across the country to see me and stay with me for a week, and play house together. 1
littleblackheart Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 Update already. 2nd 'never mets' in a pretend 'thing' that happened when I was part of a 'creative writing' project run by an arty guy. Realised I was used for an 'art project' story line by the guy pretty early on, but was curious to see how far it would go for my own self-serving reasons. Let's call it 'research'. I went along with it, which actually did more good than harm for my self-esteem, ironically. Allowed me to realise that my life is a lot less messed up than I thought. No feelings invested or hurt, no ego bruised, mental strength back in full mode, it's all good. Planning a series of trips as soon as the pandemic is over, mostly in Europe, and a road trip in the USA which had been in the works for months (he assumed I was going there for him, bless him). I'm back exercising, already feeling better and honestly think I needed this to spur me back to life. It always works both ways. Moral of the story: never mets can be worth it too. I owe this guy a lease of life. He'll never know how much he helped me. I hope he reads this, wherever he is. 1
Author fred123 Posted January 16, 2021 Author Posted January 16, 2021 On 1/14/2021 at 3:03 PM, littleblackheart said: A bad never met experience (absolutely no regret on not meeting, will never go back, book firmly closed forever), one 'in progress' hoping to meet post pandemic. Not keen on virtual dates or getting too invested until closer to the actual meeting (because of the first experience) but feeling very hopeful; all the ingredients are there for it to work. Just waiting on this pandemic to be over to put more concrete plans in place, including video calls. Will update when we do meet. can you explain your bad experience and why?
littleblackheart Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 15 minutes ago, fred123 said: can you explain your bad experience and why? From the chats we had, we were highly incompatible with very little in common at practically every single level that matters to me (worldview, politics, family ties, personality, passions, priorities in life, temperament, life experiences) with bad conflict resolution and weak boundaries on top. The LDR part wasn't the issue (for me). We never met for the reasons stated above, as acknowledged by both. That's it. Not a great experience, but one I learned from re keeping better boundaries and cutting things short quicker when things are obviously not working. Also it was just a few months after my divorce, so I wasn't in the best place anyway. That's it. I hope that satisfies your curiosity .
Author fred123 Posted January 16, 2021 Author Posted January 16, 2021 On 1/15/2021 at 3:07 PM, Fletch Lives said: I had one long distance relationship. I knew I should not have, but it fell into my lap so to speak. It was short-lived but fantastic........we had our first, big kiss the first time we laid eyes on each other, the moment she opened the door. She drove partway across the country to see me and stay with me for a week, and play house together. oh wow. it looks like a lot of these stories were successful and the women were happy to meet by themselves? i assume communication was every day? its fascinating to know that the women in these stories were different to mine
littleblackheart Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 20 minutes ago, fred123 said: its fascinating to know that the women in these stories were different to mine What's your story, Fred? Btw, LDRs typically don't always work, in the same way any other relationship doesn't always work. But when you focus on the positive, you can find something to learn from every situation.
MeadowFlower Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 3 hours ago, fred123 said: it looks like a lot of these stories were successful and the women were happy to meet by themselves? What do you mean by that OP? That "the women were happy to meet by themselves"?
Author fred123 Posted January 17, 2021 Author Posted January 17, 2021 correct i mean unescorted. My story was years ago and have been thinking about why mine was unsuccessful. And now years after reading the posters on here and reddit and even my friends who have done it Iv realised the difference. Its great to hear stories from both women and men who have done it and to observe their actions. My best mate (guy) did it twice successfully and my girl mate did it once too. Iv even done it recently again with a girl from america and noticed why that one worked. My story- Met a girl on facebook through a mutual friend (he kinda liked her). I lived in a city called Bristol (UK) and she lived in a city called Stuttgart (Germany). We both used to chat on facebook chat during work every day. She was 18 at the time and I was 24. First red flag- we used to chat on facebook every day for the first couple of weeks but only during work hours. We never really messaged after work or talked on the phone or skyped/video chatted even though I had tried to organise and called her a couple of times. (BTW she is no catfish, she is real cos my friend knew her but they had stopped talking). After a couple of weeks or so of messaging all day every day we both said we really like each other and enjoy talking to each other. I said I want to go berlin for the xmas markets and I said you should show me around. We spoke tentatively about hanging out and meeting up in berlin at some point. At this point i started to like this a girl and was scared of getting hurt and I told her and opened up about my feelings to her. She was very nice and told me not to be scared and understands Iv been hurt before and that she would never play with my feelings. After this point we basically both said we were into each other she kept saying how much she really liked me a lot and how different I was to the other guys in germany. we flirted over text etc and i joked about how i wanted to kiss her lips when i saw her. Red flag 2- changes plans about meeting. We planned to meet in berlin on a certain weekend (nov 29th to dec 1st) which was good for her. i looked at hotels and sent her a couple. she said she would take a train from stuttgart to berlin. All good. I told her id book the flights next week once i got paid. She was cool with it. (btw i did all the planning, she wasnt very pro active in helping me find hotels etc). Then 2 days later she tells me she has good news for me and that she is coming to london on 7th to 10th dec with her friend. She asks if im happy. im shocked cos we had plans for meet in germany on 29th. she then says on the 29th weekend she is moving out to her own flat. She then books her flights to london with her friend the next day. red flag 3- she slowly stops talking on facebook during work as much and i dont hear from her for a few days. I get a bit mad and tell her this isnt working and she responds saying that she hasnt talked to me for days becsuse she wanted to see if her feelings for me were real and they are and want us to work. She kept convincing me that long distance can work if its the right people. The last 2 weeks before she flies in she is distant and says she is busy and starts snapping at me and from being sweet a few weeks ago she is now rude and cold and distant. The "i miss yous" arent there anymore and its just 'i look forward to seeing you"- quite cold. She never even answered my question about picking them up from the airport or what time they were flying in and I was travelling from Bristol to London for her. No sleeping or staying arrangements were ever discussed with me and she didnt even talk about that with me. When i asked her about will she stay with me she said lets keep it spontaneous- red flag 4!! She was staying with her friend obviously in a hotel. I had no video calls and a 2 minute phone call when she was at a festival those 2 months before she flew in. Well it went badly the visit i wont go into it (as there is more )but she was not into me. What iv learnt from other stories is that those stories were successful because 1) there was constant communication all the way until meet up 2) they didnt fly with a friend 3) they stayed with each other either at hotels or their houses 4) lots of phone calls and skype even before going sleep and staying up till late talking. 5) not sure whether having sexual talk or phone sex is important for success? 6? any others you can think of??
central Posted January 17, 2021 Posted January 17, 2021 (edited) I met a British woman in Hong Kong using an OLD site. I lived near Boston at the time. After chatting almost daily for 6 months online and eventually by phone, she came to visit friends in Connecticut and we met in person. We immediately went off by ourselves on a week-long vacation in Maine, followed by several more days in Boston. Several months later I went to Hong Kong for 3 weeks, and we traveled in that area and also for 11 days in Japan. Alas, it did not work out, but it was wonderful while it lasted. But it gets far more interesting! I also had a long-term (6 years) penpal from Tokyo. Just before I went to Hong Kong, she came to visit me in Boston (she ran in the Boston Marathon that year when she visited me). About a month later when my Hong Kong gf and I visited Japan, we met with my Tokyo penpal and she showed us around for a day. I also had a penpal in Bombay, also for about 6 years. The day I returned from Hong Kong (via NYC), she and her husband and daughter were visiting New York, so I met them for lunch. That wasn't a romantic relationship, but it was a first-time meet after a long correspondence. Edited January 17, 2021 by central
Author fred123 Posted January 17, 2021 Author Posted January 17, 2021 you speak to a girl online chatting every day and she really likes you. all is going well in that aspect. she books her flight to come see you. ok good. from then on up to the day her coming over to see me communication dies massively. the daily chatting stops. more like 1 message every few days. no talk or conversation about our plans for her trip, me picking her up from the airport, what time, sleeping arrangements etc. If anything i thought we would talk more up to the point of meeting. When i bring this up that i feel she has changed and we dont talk as much and when we do its very cold she gets angry with me and says "WHAT DO YOU WANT, i told you im busy!" I find it also strange that a girl who used to tell me she really likes me and has strong feelings for me and wants the long distance to work all of a sudden stops talking so much and has never once wanted to call me or video me to get to know me?! Girls surely if you really like a guy to fly to see them wont you/wouldnt you want to speak to them on the phone or have a phone/videeo dates before you come? wouldnt you make time for that and wouldnt your friends tell you the same? strange. love to hear peoples responses and if they have been in situations similar to that.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 17, 2021 Posted January 17, 2021 (edited) Fred. You have numerous past posts on this very topic: trying to "date" women a plane-ride away, trying to forge something with women who mysteriously disappear or don't want to show their faces to you in real-time, and so on. What's strange is that you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. When are you going to learn that online women are not going to provide the relationship you're seeking? Edited January 17, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1
elaine567 Posted January 17, 2021 Posted January 17, 2021 The flight and you were two separate things.... She probably wanted to fly to your city/town/country but, she was not too interested in communicating with or seeing you. The attraction was likely where you lived not you. The minute she became cold and unavailable and "too busy" was the minute you needed to end it. Even if she did like you for a while, long distance relationships get stale and end just like any other, she wasn't feeling it hence shut you down. As Expat has said you keep hankering after unavailable, iffy and uninterested foreign women online. Stop it. 1
Alvi Posted January 17, 2021 Posted January 17, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, fred123 said: I find it also strange that a girl who used to tell me she really likes me and has strong feelings for me and wants the long distance to work all of a sudden stops talking so much and has never once wanted to call me or video me to get to know me?! Yes, that is strange indeed. A person whom you've never met in person has some strong feelings for you. A definite red flag. Sounds like a scammer or a catfish to be honest here. Or maybe she is married woman living up a fantasy but never intended to take it any further, aka meeting you for real. Like other posters have mentioned already, why are you interested in long distance women? Better to date ONLY local women. Edited January 17, 2021 by Alvi
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