I think I'm done dating. I just don't think God has one out there for me.

[crappedmypantsthrice]

15 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I always had a problem with women thinking they can only get a man if they're thin. Not all men like the same type of women. I was on the dating market at size 4, size 8 and 14, and I got a lot of attention at all those sizes. It's all about confidence, believing in yourself, attitude toward life and having a full life. 

I remember my cousin bringing his new girlfriend to a family weekend in a resort. She was probably 5'10'' and 300-lbs. Gorgeous!! She had hair like a lioness, a smile and personality that pulled you in ! She was artistic and full of talent. That woman never ran out of boyfriends. 

Losing 20-lbs is great for your health and will bring you a little bit of pride but as long as you don't believe within yourself that you are sexy and desirable it will not bring you happiness. 

 

This is fair.

But, it does bring up a problematic theory I have heard and seen floating around. Which is that if you are a heavy girl, you can get a good guy. But, you have to be outgoing and bubbly and have an infectious personality and, for lack of a better word, just have that extra something that, as you said, draws people in. But, not all women are like that. I'm not. I'm an introvert. I'm not outgoing, I'm not bubbly, and I never will be. (Around my closest friends and family, I can be...in some circumstances, IF the mood strikes) I could try to be, but it would be faking and disingenuous. 

But..it's like...you can have that personality, but you kind of have to be gorgeous too. The 1-2 punch of being heavy and being very introverted and empathic is like...the worst possible scenario, if that makes sense. 

[Weezy1973]

5 hours ago, crappedmypantsthrice said:

The 1-2 punch of being heavy and being very introverted and empathic is like...the worst possible scenario, if that makes sense. 

Are you interested in men that are heavy and very introverted too? 

[amygirl908]

5 hours ago, crappedmypantsthrice said:

 

This is fair.

But, it does bring up a problematic theory I have heard and seen floating around. Which is that if you are a heavy girl, you can get a good guy. But, you have to be outgoing and bubbly and have an infectious personality and, for lack of a better word, just have that extra something that, as you said, draws people in. But, not all women are like that. I'm not. I'm an introvert. I'm not outgoing, I'm not bubbly, and I never will be. (Around my closest friends and family, I can be...in some circumstances, IF the mood strikes) I could try to be, but it would be faking and disingenuous. 

But..it's like...you can have that personality, but you kind of have to be gorgeous too. The 1-2 punch of being heavy and being very introverted and empathic is like...the worst possible scenario, if that makes sense. 

it’s not about being introverted or extroverted, bubbly and outgoing, thin or fat. You can be any of those things and still fail at dating.

Confidence is what sells. Believing in yourself sells. Don’t think you have to live up to anyone’s expectations but your own. Anyone who can’t see beyond that isn’t worth having in your life anyways.

[mark clemson]

5 hours ago, crappedmypantsthrice said:

But..it's like...you can have that personality, but you kind of have to be gorgeous too. The 1-2 punch of being heavy and being very introverted and empathic is like...the worst possible scenario, if that makes sense. 

Unless there is a medical issue, you could consider going on a health kick and getting into shape. Easier said than done, but people do it all the time. That would potentially solve 1/2 of this equation and there are guys who will accept (a few may even prefer) a woman who's more introverted and will take the initiative to get past that initial wall for an attractive woman. There might be other fringe benefits of getting into good shape as well.

Bodily health is part of attraction/attractiveness for many people. Not for all, but being perceived as "attractive" tends to make things a lot easier. This is rooted in our biology to a certain extent and is just part of the "game we are forced to play" by being human/having emotional needs, etc.

Edit: congrats on progress toward that end - I missed that, apologies...

Edited March 6, 2021 by mark clemson