Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 15 minutes ago, poppyfields said: From what I understand about men, the first order of business is connecting sexually, after which the desire to connect emotionally. For many women, the opposite it true. First connect emotionally, followed by connecting sexually. There are always exceptions of course. GND = GirlNextDoor. That’s funny, a guy I met a few months ago wanted to have sex with me after the first date and told me so. I told him I want to know each other first at other levels, and he said he is the type sex first (our chemistry was really good) and then the rest will happen. I told him it was too soon for me to have sex and he was gone. If he was telling the truth or just wanted sex I’ll never know. Thanks, I was burning my brain thinking what GND was!
cleverusername Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 2 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Good analogy, but in that case what are the foundations? Curiosity. The unknown. The desire to imagine living in the house and making it a home. What is she like in bed? Is there sexual tension? How about personality? What does she look like naked? Does she seem interesting? How interested is she in me? The foundation is the chase.
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 2 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Curiosity. The unknown. The desire to imagine living in the house and making it a home. What is she like in bed? Is there sexual tension? How about personality? What does she look like naked? Does she seem interesting? How interested is she in me? The foundation is the chase. Well but women think about all that too! At least I do!
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 Now the guy I created this thread about texted me asking me to have a coffee at his house since we have nowhere to go and all is closed.
cleverusername Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 Just now, girlnextdoor2020 said: Well but women think about all that too! At least I do! Good, play into it. Be flirty. Quantify the relationship to give him something to look forward too. Send him a picture doing something you both mutually enjoy, looking hot. That way he can look forward to doing the activity you both enjoy with a beautiful woman by his side, then go back and have some awesome sex. Give him a future to fantasize about. That will get his attention. Good to know women think that way too. I literally have no clue how you think, women's thought process makes 0 sense to me. 1
poppyfields Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: That’s funny, a guy I met a few months ago wanted to have sex with me after the first date and told me so. I told him I want to know each other first at other levels, and he said he is the type sex first (our chemistry was really good) and then the rest will happen. I told him it was too soon for me to have sex and he was gone. If he was telling the truth or just wanted sex I’ll never know. I think this causes a lot of confusion between genders. Men's first order of business is sex, however most understand that takes time and will wait a reasonable amount of time. Problem is when a man voices his desire for sex, most women mistakenly believe that is ALL he wants which isn't necessarily true, and they get insulted and dump. Sometimes it is all he wants, so best to wait because like the guy in your above quote, he won't stick around. So in that case, even though he was the one to leave, consider it a bullet successfully dodged! Edited January 21, 2021 by poppyfields
cleverusername Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Now the guy I created this thread about texted me asking me to have a coffee at his house since we have nowhere to go and all is closed. How cold is it there? Like snow everywhere cold or like 30-50 degree cold? Edited January 21, 2021 by cleverusername
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 27 minutes ago, cleverusername said: How cold is it there? Like snow everywhere cold or like 30-50 degree cold? Is not very cold at the moment.
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 30 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I think this causes a lot of confusion between genders. Men's first order of business is sex, however most understand that takes time and will wait a reasonable amount of time. Problem is when a man voices his desire for sex, most women mistakenly believe that is ALL he wants which isn't necessarily true, and they get insulted and dump. Sometimes it is all he wants, so best to wait because like the guy in your above quote, he won't stick around. So in that case, even though he was the one to leave, consider it a bullet successfully dodged! It surely was!
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 35 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Good, play into it. Be flirty. Quantify the relationship to give him something to look forward too. Send him a picture doing something you both mutually enjoy, looking hot. That way he can look forward to doing the activity you both enjoy with a beautiful woman by his side, then go back and have some awesome sex. Give him a future to fantasize about. That will get his attention. Good to know women think that way too. I literally have no clue how you think, women's thought process makes 0 sense to me. Well I can’t speak for other women, but If I am attracted to a guy I think a LOT about sex with him too and want it. Maybe the difference is I do get attached through sex because it is a very intimate act to me, so I prefer to know each other and connect at other levels first, so I don’t end up attached to an idiot. I don’t think most men think/feel this. They can just have sex casually like brushing their teeth. Women release oxytoxin through sex which is the bonding hormone so i prefer to be careful about it. But yeah I’ll be checking his pics too and fantasize about sex with him. Edited January 21, 2021 by girlnextdoor2020 1
cleverusername Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 5 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Is not very cold at the moment. Lack of effort on his part. He either is not creative or wants just sex. If I actually wanted a date in his position I would pick up coffee to go for you and meet at a park or bring a thermos to share and go on a hike or something. Coffee at an apartment is sleezy IMO. Edited January 21, 2021 by cleverusername 6
stillafool Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 10 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Is not very cold at the moment. Then tell him you're prefer to go for a walk and talk. Going to his house for coffee I would dodge. 2
poppyfields Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, cleverusername said: Lack of effort on his part. He either is not creative or wants just sex. If I actually wanted a date in his position I would pick up coffee to go for you and meet at a park or bring a thermos to share and go on a hike or something. Coffee at an apartment is sleezy IMO. I believe she said they are on lockdown and cannot go out. In some areas, if caught outside by law enforcement, you're hit with a hefty fine! I know this is true in parts of Europe. Edited January 21, 2021 by poppyfields
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I believe she said they are on lockdown and cannot go out. In some areas, if caught outside by law enforcement, you're hit with a hefty fine! I know this is true in parts of Europe. Yes we are in Europe and we cannot sit at the park at the moment. We could go for a walk but still would be a risk. He mentioned too for us to meet at one of those big chain stores lol so I think I am gonna go for that. Not romantic at all but I prefer rather than going to his house. 1
poppyfields Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Yes we are in Europe and we cannot sit at the park at the moment. We could go for a walk but still would be a risk. He mentioned too for us to meet at one of those big chain stores lol so I think I am gonna go for that. Not romantic at all but I prefer rather than going to his house. You could go to his house and maintain your boundaries if you're not ready to have sex with him. You know him through texting and your two dates, what's your sense of him? Is he the type to disrespect your boundaries and sexually assault you? I dunno, I probably would go in your shoes. I can handle myself. I did get myself into an extremely unpleasant (and dangerous) situation with a man many years ago, but I did not know him at all, it was a first date. So that was a big mistake. But you know this guy, at least to some extent. I invited my fiancé to mine on our third official date; we had a lovely time, no sex. I guess just do whatever you're comfortable with. Have fun! Relax, enjoy. Edited January 21, 2021 by poppyfields
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 12 minutes ago, poppyfields said: You could go to his house and maintain your boundaries if you're not ready to have sex with him. You know him through texting and your two dates, what's your sense of him? Is he the type to disrespect your boundaries and sexually assault you? I dunno, I probably would go in your shoes. I can handle myself. I did get myself into an extremely unpleasant (and dangerous) situation with a man many years ago, but I did not know him at all, it was a first date. So that was a big mistake. But you know this guy, at least to some extent. I invited my fiancé to mine on our third official date; we had a lovely time, no sex. I guess just do whatever you're comfortable with. Have fun! Relax, enjoy. Well we are planning to meet at a shop this weekend lol And then depending on how I feel about him and if we want to see each other again I might consider the coffee inside the house, maybe I’ll invite him to mine as I would feel more at ease.
Watercolors Posted January 21, 2021 Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 19 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Well we are planning to meet at a shop this weekend lol And then depending on how I feel about him and if we want to see each other again I might consider the coffee inside the house, maybe I’ll invite him to mine as I would feel more at ease. I know you are old enough to know better. But do not go back to his house until you have a better idea of who he is. To minimize risk. Of course, if he is a crazy pants, the number of dates won't matter, until he displays whatever his version of "crazy" looks like to you. Then you will need to be prepared to flee... When I did online dating, I went back to a guy's condo after 4 dates with him. He seemed SO normal on the surface. Uh-uh. The facade came down when we went back to his place after dinner on our 5th date. When he was thirsty, he went to his kitchen sink, turned it on, and instead of using a glass, just sucked the water from the tap. Like he was a college student, instead of a 35 year old accountant. Then, he called me a f***ing b**** when I refused to agree to have sex with him. It was like a real life episode of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Keep the venues of the dates between you two in public places until you feel safe with him. Good luck. Edited January 21, 2021 by Watercolors 3 1
Author girlnextdoor2020 Posted January 21, 2021 Author Posted January 21, 2021 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Watercolors said: I know you are old enough to know better. But do not go back to his house until you have a better idea of who he is. To minimize risk. Of course, if he is a crazy pants, the number of dates won't matter, until he displays whatever his version of "crazy" looks like to you. Then you will need to be prepared to flee... When I did online dating, I went back to a guy's condo after 4 dates with him. He seemed SO normal on the surface. Uh-uh. The facade came down when we went back to his place after dinner on our 5th date. When he was thirsty, he went to his kitchen sink, turned it on, and instead of using a glass, just sucked the water from the tap. Like he was a college student, instead of a 35 year old accountant. Then, he called me a f***ing b**** when I refused to agree to have sex with him. It was like a real life episode of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Keep the venues of the dates between you two in public places until you feel safe with him. Good luck. That thing with the tap is quite funny but the other is just disgusting. Many years ago I agreed on a dinner date with a guy at his house (second date). He said he was going to cook. So he got these ready meals from the shop, warmed it up in the microwave, and then said to me: let’s eat it straight from the containers so we don’t get the dishes dirty! I was in love after this of course So yeah you never know. I am going to meet him at a public place and thread carefully in regards to his invite to his house. Usually these invites are for one thing only. Edited January 21, 2021 by girlnextdoor2020
poppyfields Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 4 minutes ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Usually these invites are for one thing only. Usually? Not necessarily. Sometimes? Yes definitely. As I said, I invited my fiancé (soon to be ex but that's another thread) to mine for dinner on our third date (not counting our first meet). So maybe fourth date if you consider the first meet a date. It was lovely, no sex. He didn't even try. Some kissing, of course, but no sex. I felt extremely safe with him. I dunno, you could wait until the 20th date to invite a guy over, and he could turn out to be an a-hole. Just go with what you're comfortable with is what I say. 2
winny Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 4 hours ago, cleverusername said: Man here. Can confirm. Men are like lions. They don't want to be fed a precut steak in a zoo cage. The lion wants to hunt his prey on the plains, form a plan, and make the kill to get his meat. It's the process that makes it fun, so long as the prey doesn't disappear from sight. (This is just an analogy, I'm not a serial killer I swear!) Oh please.. men are like little puppies if they are into a woman LOL 4
cleverusername Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 6 minutes ago, winny said: Oh please.. men are like little puppies if they are into a woman LOL And what do women love? Puppies! checkmate. 2 1
winny Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, cleverusername said: And what do women love? Puppies! checkmate. Definitely not lions or puppies. A woman loves a mature man who treats her with respect love and kindness. Not like a prey to be hunted or a trophy to be won. Keep the check mate with you. I dont engage in games. LOL Edited January 22, 2021 by winny 1
peach302 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 6 hours ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: That’s funny, a guy I met a few months ago wanted to have sex with me after the first date and told me so. I told him I want to know each other first at other levels, and he said he is the type sex first (our chemistry was really good) and then the rest will happen. I told him it was too soon for me to have sex and he was gone. If he was telling the truth or just wanted sex I’ll never know. Thanks, I was burning my brain thinking what GND was! He just wanted sex and was manipulating you by saying the rest will come after sex ( yeah right) . How do i know this? Because the exact same thing happened to me but i wasnt weak and didnt allow the person to take advantage. I knew he was talking out of his butt hole
Watercolors Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 1 hour ago, cleverusername said: And what do women love? Puppies! checkmate. 1
spiritedaway2003 Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 6 hours ago, girlnextdoor2020 said: Good analogy, but in that case what are the foundations? Personally, I think it's mutual love, kindness, and respect. It's the glue that holds everything else together.
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