Jim3421 Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 Hi, I've been seeing a girl for 4 months. We're fairly close and get on well. The only thing is that we haven't seen each other that much recently. We text a lot though and it feels like a texting relationship sometimes. She's been back at her family home a lot recently, which is why we haven't seen much of each other. She gets too stressed out with her flatmates, especially as she's working from home, so she goes back to her family home, about 3 hours drive away. She's said she's thinking of going back again. I completely understand her situation, however I feel the relationship is a bit stop-start at the moment. I'm finding all the texting, 'miss you', 'how are you', quite exhausting now, especially as I don't actually see her. I often think 'what's the point?' If she does go back, I don't want to break up, I want to be patient, but I'm also not happy we're hardly seeing each other. If this is the case, I want to cut down on the constant texting. Should I say this to her? If she comes back here for a decent period of time, I'll gladly see her again. She always texts me saying she misses me but then she wants to go back to her family home... She has invited me to her family home again though, and I know it's not personal that she's back living there, it's the unique lockdown situation which means she's in her flat all day. I stayed with her at her family home for a night last month. We went out for dinner, but yet she didn't offer me any food or drink at her place. I wasn't hungry or anything but still felt it was a bit rude, especially as I'd brought some wine. So I ask myself if I really want to go visit again if that's the hospitality on offer. I've never had a long-term relationship before. She's the first girl I've hit it off with, but now I hardly see her. What would you advise? Thanks
Lorenza Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 (edited) Is she thinking of getting a place of her own or at least where the flatmates will not bother or is she planning on continuing this back and forth situation with her parents place? Why don't you video call instead of chatting? Edited January 15, 2021 by EternalClarity
Author Jim3421 Posted January 15, 2021 Author Posted January 15, 2021 Hi, thanks for your reply. She did look into renting on her own but she's put it off for now she said. We did a video chat over Christmas, was my suggestion. I'll let her suggest the next one, we're both not fans of calls though lol
d0nnivain Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 Lock downs make a lot of things weird. It sounds like she's a poor hostess, not offering you anything to eat or drink. You can probably fix that by modeling good behavior when she comes to your house. While she's away do more then text. Have a proper telephone call & use a video feature. Is it possible to meet in the middle for a date? Taking a break won't help. You are either together or broken up.
ShyViolet Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 When you've been dating someone for 4 months, that's supposed to be the honeymoon stage. However, you don't sound excited about this girl at all. She's choosing to spend a lot of time at her family's home 3 hours away instead of stay at her own place so that she can see you. That says a lot. I think this is a sign that there really isn't much point to this relationship. You guys both aren't that into each other. You should let her go and move on to someone you are more compatible with. 2
smackie9 Posted January 16, 2021 Posted January 16, 2021 I agree with the above post..by now you two should be wanting to go crazy on each other even if there is time apart you would be into making the best of it, and look forward to those video calls, sending each other gifts, love notes etc. You two ain't got that snap, crackle and pop. You need to meet someone new.
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