Megggpie Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 It's been a year and a half since I was betrayed but the pain is still there. My ex-husband and I had a huge wedding in 2018 only to have him leave me 7 months later for a female friend that was at our wedding. I didn't have an idea he was unhappy until he told me he wanted a divorce and didn't want to be in a jaded relationship like my parents were in. At that moment I didn't know he was already having an affair. I consulted his siblings and mother and no one knew what was going on with him. They kept asking me do you think he met someone? I told them no, my ex would never do that, there is no way. Low and behold my brother-in-law saw his truck at this house. A house I knew his female friend lived in with her parents. I went over to that house at 1AM to confront my ex-husband, only to have his female friend's mother verbally attack me and denying my ex-husband was there. When I point blankly stated his truck was in the driveway so stop acting like he's not. My coward of an ex-husband came around the side of the house and started yelling at me to leave, that I shouldn't be there, and that he was leaving me. I understand I crossed some boundaries that night but I was so hurt I couldn't just let it be. We were only married 7 months and just bought our own farm. I didn't know what happen. What hurts so much is knowing how much I sacrificed to be with him. I stood by him while we slept on his mom's apartment floor on a lousy mattress for 4 years. I stood by him when he was diagnosed with ED and our sex life was nonexistent. I stood by him while he tried to make a successful business. I stood by him while he changed careers. When I met him he had nothing, we built up our lives together and then he just dropped me when he got somewhere. Now he lives in a nice condo, has a new truck and is dating his female friend. I'm still astonish how it all went down. We were only together for 5 years, we had our ups and downs but we had a decent relationship. I thought we were happy, our personalities clicked, are humor was on point and I was extremely attracted to him. I was doing better with our separation but now the anger is eating me up alive and I don't know what to do.
stillafool Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 I'm so sorry you are still in pain by this. Did something trigger you? Have you thought of getting independent counseling to help you through this? Also have you dated since the divorce and do you now have the farm?
Author Megggpie Posted January 15, 2021 Author Posted January 15, 2021 Thank you for your response. I think I was expecting them to break up by now but they are still together and it just has stirred up the feelings again. When it first happen I was in therapy for a while but of course I felt better and stopped going. I need ot start again, and I do have the farm.
stillafool Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 (edited) Are you dating anyone? I think there will be times when you will feel like this as it's a part of healing. Was this girl a friend of yours? Edited January 15, 2021 by stillafool
Pumaza Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 crazy.next time for sure dont go alone.take someone with you. Are you sure you ddnt see the signs.or you closed your eyes ti see any??? How long you know him? Eventhou he may have felt all this he coulda tell you instead of all this cheating and drama. Fact is you gotta let him go.Or getting used much more. Try to see that its better you know now then much more wasted years with him. Get a therapist and work on a moment for you to clean your heart with him. By telling him once all what you are feeling and think, and then let it go.Move on.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted January 19, 2021 Posted January 19, 2021 On 1/15/2021 at 11:10 AM, Megggpie said: It's been a year and a half since I was betrayed but the pain is still there. My ex-husband and I had a huge wedding in 2018 only to have him leave me 7 months later for a female friend that was at our wedding. I didn't have an idea he was unhappy until he told me he wanted a divorce and didn't want to be in a jaded relationship like my parents were in. At that moment I didn't know he was already having an affair. I consulted his siblings and mother and no one knew what was going on with him. They kept asking me do you think he met someone? I told them no, my ex would never do that, there is no way. Low and behold my brother-in-law saw his truck at this house. A house I knew his female friend lived in with her parents. I went over to that house at 1AM to confront my ex-husband, only to have his female friend's mother verbally attack me and denying my ex-husband was there. When I point blankly stated his truck was in the driveway so stop acting like he's not. My coward of an ex-husband came around the side of the house and started yelling at me to leave, that I shouldn't be there, and that he was leaving me. I understand I crossed some boundaries that night but I was so hurt I couldn't just let it be. We were only married 7 months and just bought our own farm. I didn't know what happen. What hurts so much is knowing how much I sacrificed to be with him. I stood by him while we slept on his mom's apartment floor on a lousy mattress for 4 years. I stood by him when he was diagnosed with ED and our sex life was nonexistent. I stood by him while he tried to make a successful business. I stood by him while he changed careers. When I met him he had nothing, we built up our lives together and then he just dropped me when he got somewhere. Now he lives in a nice condo, has a new truck and is dating his female friend. I'm still astonish how it all went down. We were only together for 5 years, we had our ups and downs but we had a decent relationship. I thought we were happy, our personalities clicked, are humor was on point and I was extremely attracted to him. I was doing better with our separation but now the anger is eating me up alive and I don't know what to do. I am sooo sorry this happened to you. You did not deserve to be treated like that and betrayed. He sounds like an opportunist, and will probably do the same thing to this woman--leave her when he meets someone else who can enhance his life even more. It's easier said than done, but no more outbursts. He isn't worth it, nor should you let him see you sweat. Men like that are notorious for trying to slither back in when life throws them curveballs. You need to get yourself emotionally together, because he will sound so charming and convincing if he tries to return. Finally, you need to raise your dating standards. You shouldn't accept a man who can't even take care of himself.
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