mimi123456 Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 What is NC, how does it work, what is it and how can you be good at it?
Mary3 Posted October 15, 2005 Posted October 15, 2005 No talking on the phone, no emails, no texts, no seeing eachother, no second hand messages from friends and certainly no intimacy. This gives you back your respect and helps you to heal because they are not there drumming words of lame attempts of love in your ears.
Author mimi123456 Posted October 16, 2005 Author Posted October 16, 2005 basically am trying to do this NC on my ex and always fail, but I was wondring if anyone know how to do it good and can help me out.
allaboutchoices Posted October 16, 2005 Posted October 16, 2005 The only way to do NC good is to stick with it. Change/block email addresses, phone numbers, do not pick up calls, do not read/reply text messages, do no IM. Just forget that person exists. The only way Be determined. Relapses are normal, we all have been there
J dub Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 The only way NC will work effectively (and by "work" I mean you will reap the benefits tremendously) you need to make a final decision...you need to say to yourself, I need to move on. I deserve better, and I want to be myself again. Then, you take action. Stop answering phone calls and do not for ANY reason contact them. Contact means everything that includes a keypad...AND in person. There has to be complete and total elimination of your ex for you to get the process moving. There is no detrimental (negative) effects from NC. Ever heard the saying, "hindsight is 20/20"? Its TRUE...you just need to get your head clear to see what's really going on. And trust me, you will be entirely surprised how strong you are and have been all along, but havent given yourself credit for. We all deal with the same emotions during a break up. There are literally STEPS we must endure, and you MUST complete these steps to ensure you dont carry baggage from this relationship into your next one. Right now you are "in the meantime", and you need to realize that if your relationship didnt work, that doesnt mean you are a failure and it DEFINITELY doesnt mean you'll never love again. You will fall in love, and when you do you will look back at thiswhole situation and feel silly for wasting so much time on someone who clearly wasnt right for you. And again, its not your fault. Sometimes people just arent right for eachother, and it takes someone strong to cut the ties. It doesnt mean you have to cut them off forever...it just means until you have a good hold on your heart, feelings, and emotions again so that you dont cave and fall back in to their trap. You can always be friends with an ex later in life. Right now, for the next few weeks (or months, typically) it is highly advisable that you avoid your ex like the plague becauseif you dont, the second you establish contact with them again you are going to hit the "reset" button on your healing process, forcing you back to the beginning of the process. If you have a weak moment and want to call them, get your A$$ into the bath, go for a drive, or call a friend. Or even better, come on here and vent away. Thats what we're all here for You will be SO proud of yourself once youve realized that you are over them and ready to move on. Its the most wonderful feeling in the world to literally feel the reins of the relationship release you. Its like a million bricks have been lifted off your shoulders -- suddenly everything seems hopeful and you are feeling like yourself again. And we are ALL capable of doing this, you just need to have faith. Thats all, and of course, patience
RecordProducer Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 Which part of NO CONTACT don't you understand?
Author mimi123456 Posted October 18, 2005 Author Posted October 18, 2005 Thaks guys,but I have one more question before I start NC. My ex has my apartment keys, how do I get it back?, should I call him for the keys or just let it go? What should I do, cause he doesn't want to give it back.
Mary3 Posted October 18, 2005 Posted October 18, 2005 Ask politely for the keys back or tell him you will get the locks changed and he needs to foot the bill for the cost.
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