smile95 Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Everyone always told me that I will "just feel it" when I know that I have given up hope. I am feeling it. Thank God! I finally see that I cannot change him and there is about a 1% chance he will ever revert back to the sweet man I once knew. I have put up with so much and I have done all I can. I am throwing in the towel knowing that I have done everything possible to save this. Maybe too much. I let too much happen and let him walk all over me. I do love him, but I also can see the difference now between loving him and being in love with him. I have to let go of the memories and see what he is doing to me now. As Bendit explained today, he only contacts me to feed his own ego. Sadly, I mistake that for him loving me and that is not right. I hate to admit that part! I am doing NC no matter what. This is a big step for me. I never thought I would get here. I continue to look at how he treats me now and then last time he did or said anything nice and followed thru. The problem was all his empty promises. At least I know the red flags of a Narcissist in the future. I am hurt that it is over, but at least I feel myself letting go of hope. I am going to be realistic and know that I will have my down days, but I want a family and a loving relationship one day and I know that holding on to the ex is doing me no good and not moving me in the right direction... Thanks to everyone who has been soooo patient with me all these months.....finally it is all sinking in. I knew all along you all were right, but I was in denial. I did not want to believe that someone did not love me. Especially, when I was wonderful to him.
Ditherer Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Well done hun, you're getting there. Keep going, you'll look back at this one day and be amazed how you've moved on since. Take care.
JohnJohn Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Beth, Glad to hear you are doing well. I just posted on here for the first time yesterday and I am very thankful for the responses I get. I too have been in denial with a narcissist and am now (finally) starting to come out of it. I think I have obsessed too much in trying to figure it all out. But then, like another member said, why bother? The ex isn't mulling over us. Most likely they replaced us right away.
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