Datingsux Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 (edited) I am currently concerned for a friend of mine. He was single a long time, but in the past few months he started seeing this girl who's much younger than him. She apparently just came out of a marriage and/or relationship and also has a child. I'm thinking it's only been a short period of time since this girl broke up with her spouse, but she's already dating my friend. Recently my friend posted on Facebook how they are perfect for each other and that they are already "in love", claiming to be soulmates basically. It sounded too good to be true sort of deal, but I'm trying to be happy for them. The problem is she appears to be a huge attention seeker and super immature. She posts lots of selfies, and noticed she hasn't put up one single photo of my friend and her as a couple on her Facebook. She's definitely the type that post on social media 24/7. I also found out she has Twitter where she's constantly posting negative stuff. I see post about drinking, smoking, going to bars. Or partying rather, just in the last year. Even comments about men hitting on her. Lots of rants about feeling depressed, anxious and what not. Lots of comments suggest she's super materialistic as well. It appears to be one of those people who gets off to constantly posting and ranting on social media. It looks like she's got some mental problem IMO. Weird thing, is my friend doesn't use Twitter, and I don't think he knows she's on there. She looks extremely immature, and there's so many selfies, and she's the type that likes to show more cleavage than not while posing in selfies in sexy outfits. So the question is, does this appear to be a red flag? I know it might be dumb asking, as it clearly doesn't sound too good. Just wanting other opinions though. Afraid my friend is truly going to end up getting hurt big time. I just can't believe he'd go for such a girl or is he just clueless so far. Edited January 14, 2021 by Datingsux
stillafool Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 (edited) I'm not surprised he's smitten. He's got young flesh which is quite exciting for a guy much older than her. He may be aware of all the things you said but doesn't care because of the joy he feels when with her. I would continue wishing them well and not say anything as he will think you are jealous. As long as he seems happy that is all that matters at this point. Edited January 14, 2021 by stillafool 1
d0nnivain Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 You may see the writing on the wall but he's too enamored with her youth & the attention she is paying to him. While it's only dating, just grit your teeth & don't criticize. If you find out he's impoverishing himself for her, start asking pointed Qs designed to let him come to his own conclusion that she's unsuitable. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 It will most likely blow up in his face, but if he chooses to be oblivious to the realities of the situation, that's on him. I agree that if you say anything, it will only make him defensive. He's "in love," so he'll stick with the situation as long as it lasts. 3
Wiseman2 Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 Don't rain on his parade. He'll figure things out soon enough. He's a grown man. Stop scanning her social media. 3
smackie9 Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 He's no dummy. I'm sure he has seen the posts but would rather ignore them and just enjoy his relationship/fling. He's a grown man, he takes responsibility for his decisions. If he gets hurt, that's on him and I'm sure he knows there is always a risk. He will get over it, and meet someone else, and life will go on. Just let him be. 1
ShyViolet Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 I think you should stop spending so much time analyzing your friend's girlfriend's social media. He's a grown man and can handle his own relationship. If she's really as crazy and immature as you say, he will see signs of that and will decide if he can deal with it or not. 1
mark clemson Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 2 hours ago, Datingsux said: She apparently just came out of a marriage and/or relationship and also has a child. I'm thinking it's only been a short period of time since this girl broke up with her spouse, but she's already dating my friend. ... Afraid my friend is truly going to end up getting hurt big time. I just can't believe he'd go for such a girl or is he just clueless so far. Ye olde rebound. Your friend should be aware of that (or made aware of it, if he's not) and so take EVERYTHING about this with a BIG grain of salt.
Ami1uwant Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 More details needed What are their ages? is he on social media? how did they meet? Did they know each other before dating started? social media is not necessarily who the person really is
Author Datingsux Posted January 14, 2021 Author Posted January 14, 2021 (edited) Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I am trying not to concern myself too much as obviously its his life, but its kind of hard when hes posting on social media. Im on his Facebook. Today he post another photo of the both of them. She still has no photo of them up, which I find odd. This girl has nearly 4,000 friends and he has no where near that amount. Shes definitly a very attractive girl, so dont blame him in a way lol. I also feel like he might be posting mostly to receive compliments and gain acceptance of the relationship. I guess many people tend to use social media for that. I definitly will keep quiet and not say anything. To the person who asked their ages. Hes 38 and shes 25. They met on a dating site, and no Im pretty sure he did not know her previously. Her Facebook is not too terrible, but again after finding out she has Twitter and reading the tweets, as well as seeing more flashy photos, it makes me a bit more concerned. I really dont think he is aware. He does not use Twitter. I do sense shes super insecure despite her collection of selfies. To the person, who mention a "rebound". Sounds like it to me. Oddly, it looks like in only the last few years, she had both a husband(her kids father), and a new BF, and now my friend. Edited January 14, 2021 by Datingsux
dramafreezone Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 Maybe he's just enjoying himself and not taking this as seriously as you think he is. I'd stay out of it. 1
ShyViolet Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 I'm still not sure why you are concerning yourself so much with their lives. It's generally best to stay out of other people's relationships. Has he actually asked your advice about what he should do about this relationship? If not, then frankly this is not your business. 2
Trail Blazer Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 It's nice to have friends who are genuinely concerned about your welfare, but those friends also should know the boundaries. There's definitely some red flags with this girl. However, your friend is a 38-year-old man who is solely responsible for his own choices and happiness. I doubt this relationship will last. So, as a friend, be there to help him pick up the pieces if and when it does. Until then, you just have tl sit on the periphery and let it ride out.
Melrose78 Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 It's nice you care but chances are your opinion won't be appreciated. Just be there. Like any good friend.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 10 hours ago, Datingsux said: To the person who asked their ages. Hes 38 and shes 25. They met on a dating site, and no Im pretty sure he did not know her previously You can't be very close to him if you don't even know this information. As such, I would mind your own business. 1
Wiseman2 Posted January 15, 2021 Posted January 15, 2021 Are you hoping to be more than friends? Your obsession with her social media seems a bit out of place. Who cares who he dates? You should be happy for him, but why aren't you? 1
Author Datingsux Posted January 23, 2021 Author Posted January 23, 2021 Just a little update, if anyone cares lol. So, as of today my friend has posted two more photos of him and his girlfriend on his social media, but this girl still has not posted one photo of them on her Facebook, which I find odd. Recently they entered a cutest couple contest and it's sponsored through a Jewelry store. Does it sound like they may be getting engaged soon or considering it, or am I looking too much into this?! LOL I get this is my friend and his relationship, but I'm really convinced he might just be her rebound and that can't be a good thing, is it? It seems to be moving way too fast, and note she just came out of a marriage. She has photos of her ex and their daughter posted on her Facebook just last November. I can't help but be concerned. I'm not going to say anything to him, but his relationship screams red flag to me. I can't exactly delete him off my Facebook, and this is the 3rd post/picture of them in just 3 weeks or less since the relationship became exclusive.
smackie9 Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 If you were smart you would delete your fiend off your FB and stop following her on twitter. Then you can enjoy your life peacefully.
basil67 Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 Why did you start following your friend's new gf on Twitter?
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