SiDot Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 Should I be angry that he follows an ex on social media? Especially one that he called a "shady b****" but still follows her a year later.
Wiseman2 Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 1 minute ago, SiDot said: Should I be angry that he follows an ex on social media? Especially one that he called a "shady b****" but still follows her a year later. How long have you been dating? Nothing you can do about who he follows/talks to except observe this behavior and reflect if he's compatible with you. Sounds like he's not over her and they're still talking.
Blind-Sided Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 Was it a long relationship, and they have kids together? Is there another reason he should follower her? How long have you been together? 1
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 Define "follows". If she's just one of several dozen or hundred people who are his "friends", it's not that bad. If he's actively engaging with her -- liking each other's posts or worse engaging in long colloquy about the posts -- then it's a problem. 3
smackie9 Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 I think it's inappropriate. They call that "unfinished business". How he describes her to you, I would take it with a grain of salt. People cover their tracks by putting their ex in a bad light and playing it up.
ShyViolet Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 People on this board get so overly paranoid about this issue. I find it pretty ridiculous. I still follow most of my exes on social media. And I do NOT still have feelings for any of them or want to get back with them. If my current boyfriend had a problem with that and told me not to, I would tell him that he is being controlling and that I will NOT accept his controlling, jealous behavior. There's just no reason for it. Continuing to follow someone on social media does not mean that you're talking to them or that you still want to be with them. 4
poppyfields Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, ShyViolet said: People on this board get so overly paranoid about this issue. I find it pretty ridiculous. I still follow most of my exes on social media. And I do NOT still have feelings for any of them or want to get back with them. If my current boyfriend had a problem with that and told me not to, I would tell him that he is being controlling and that I will NOT accept his controlling, jealous behavior. There's just no reason for it. Continuing to follow someone on social media does not mean that you're talking to them or that you still want to be with them. First off to the OP, who is "he"? A boyfriend? An ex boyfriend? A crush you want to be your boyfriend? Some guy you chat with on line? In any event, I tend to agree with ShyViolet^^, however any guy who refers to an ex as a "shady bytch" is obviously harboring some sort of ill will towards her and has not moved on = still has some lingering feels going on. Whether it's love, hate, anger, whatever, something's happening there. Add to that, the fact he still follows her socials would suggest that as well. Edited January 13, 2021 by poppyfields 2
Lorenza Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) Following an ex on social media is not a big deal, even liking some of their generic pictures isn't a reason to get upset about (if they aren't some flirty selfies or bikini shots). I wouldn't like it my partner name called their exes though. Means that when/if you become an ex they will not portray you in a nice way either. Edited January 13, 2021 by EternalClarity 2 1
stillafool Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 11 hours ago, SiDot said: Should I be angry that he follows an ex on social media? Especially one that he called a "shady b****" but still follows her a year later. It''s obvious he isn't over her because if he were he'd be indifferent. 2
dramafreezone Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, stillafool said: It''s obvious he isn't over her because if he were he'd be indifferent. She didn't say when he said that. Was it a year ago or was it yesterday? Makes a huge difference. In any event she didn't give enough information. Are they still in contact? How long has she been dating him? A month, a week? Too much information missing. A lot of people like to block people they used to date or delete phone numbers. I just don't see the point. Even if I was upset with them, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of letting them know that I'm butthurt. Moving on and having a great life is the best revenge. Edited January 13, 2021 by dramafreezone
poppyfields Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) 33 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: In any event she didn't give enough information. Are they still in contact? How long has she been dating him? A month, a week? Too much information missing. A lot of people like to block people they used to date or delete phone numbers. I just don't see the point. Even if I was upset with them, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of letting them know that I'm butthurt. Moving on and having a great life is the best revenge. We don't even know IF she's dating him, she referred to him as "he" which could have many connotations. Hell he could be an on-line chat buddy for all we know. You're right we need more info. I agree with you about blocking, that is an emotional reaction. When one is indifferent, there is no need to block, no need to be calling them derogatory names like a "shady bytch," no feeling anger. For me, when indifferent, I cherish the memory and look back with fondness. I even feel that way about my long term ex, who hurt me so bad when it ended, I nearly ended my life. I still view HIS socials btw too, and like pics. I'm glad he's happy and moved on. Edited January 13, 2021 by poppyfields 2 1
smackie9 Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, ShyViolet said: People on this board get so overly paranoid about this issue. I find it pretty ridiculous. I still follow most of my exes on social media. And I do NOT still have feelings for any of them or want to get back with them. If my current boyfriend had a problem with that and told me not to, I would tell him that he is being controlling and that I will NOT accept his controlling, jealous behavior. There's just no reason for it. Continuing to follow someone on social media does not mean that you're talking to them or that you still want to be with them. It may not for you, but it could be different for someone else. I get it, it could go either way BUT this isn't really about him, but how it makes the OP feel. Obviously communication is the answer to resolve this. Edited January 13, 2021 by smackie9
deepthinking Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) Not angry but honest. He is living in the past. You are not controlling. You have a right to ask him why he lives in the past. You should have more clout than some ex. But no anger for that leads to a argument, but just ask him, maybe he just does not maintain social media daily, used to but no more, and so she was left there, frozen in a time-warp; I have known 2 men just stop bothering with facebook, see. Edited January 13, 2021 by deepthinking
Miss Spider Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 I think the bigger flag is he called her a shady b*tch. A shady btch he dated and still follows. Tacky and seems like he has some unresolved feelings there 3
dramafreezone Posted January 13, 2021 Posted January 13, 2021 1 hour ago, deepthinking said: Not angry but honest. He is living in the past. You are not controlling. You have a right to ask him why he lives in the past. You should have more clout than some ex. But no anger for that leads to a argument, but just ask him, maybe he just does not maintain social media daily, used to but no more, and so she was left there, frozen in a time-warp; I have known 2 men just stop bothering with facebook, see. I don't see any upside to bring it up at all. Like you said, some just don't unfriend anyone or bother with social media much. 1
Trail Blazer Posted January 14, 2021 Posted January 14, 2021 I still follow most of my exes and my girlfriend follows her exes. It's not a big deal unless you don't trust your partner. 1
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