Lizzie1972 Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 My best friend and I are hoping to start a new business together running a cafe. We have discussed it and thought it through thoroughly but the only setback is the finance. He has suggested that I move in with him so that we will save money for starting a business. Sounds ideal but I am In love with him and I’m not sure this would be healthy. I told him how I feel a couple of months ago before this business idea had come up and he doesn’t feel the same and says he truly values our friendship and wouldn’t want to ruin that. I have a couple of friends who have suggested that this is his way of showing affection as he has mild autism and is unable to show it any other way and that I should move in with him. Thoughts people? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 42 minutes ago, Lizzie1972 said: He has suggested that I move in with him so that we will save money for starting a business. Sounds ideal but I am In love with him and I’m not sure this would be healthy. Preserve the friendship. There's other ways to make/save money. Don't move in or hope it becomes a romance. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 57 minutes ago, Lizzie1972 said: I have a couple of friends who have suggested that this is his way of showing affection as he has mild autism and is unable to show it any other way and that I should move in with him. Thoughts people? Your friends are being nice but are wrong. He told you how he felt and you need to accept it and believe him. If you do go into biz with him sooner or later the girl he ends up getting into a new relationship with will start dropping by and calling non stop and your heart will be destroyed. He probably loves you as a friend/family but is not in love with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 If you are in love with him you can't live with him or run a business with him. If finances are already an issue with this possible new business venture, you are already under capitalized. You need a better business plan. Seek out advice from your local SBDC. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 4 hours ago, Lizzie1972 said: I told him how I feel a couple of months ago before this business idea had come up and he doesn’t feel the same and says he truly values our friendship and wouldn’t want to ruin that. I have a couple of friends who have suggested that this is his way of showing affection as he has mild autism and is unable to show it any other way and that I should move in with him. Thoughts people? I'm a little confused. So you told him that you're in love with him, and he straight out told you that he doesn't feel the same way. So now your friends are telling you to kid yourself into thinking that maybe he does have feelings for you deep down, and that this is his "way of showing it." Sounds like your friends are giving you terrible advice. The man told you that he doesn't feel the same way about you, and just sees you as a friend. You need to believe him and accept that. It sounds like it's probably a bad idea to either live with this man or start a business together, when your judgment is clouded by your feelings for him. This has a high chance of ending badly. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle12345 Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 On 1/12/2021 at 9:59 PM, Lizzie1972 said: My best friend and I are hoping to start a new business together running a cafe. We have discussed it and thought it through thoroughly but the only setback is the finance. He has suggested that I move in with him so that we will save money for starting a business. Sounds ideal but I am In love with him and I’m not sure this would be healthy. I told him how I feel a couple of months ago before this business idea had come up and he doesn’t feel the same and says he truly values our friendship and wouldn’t want to ruin that. I have a couple of friends who have suggested that this is his way of showing affection as he has mild autism and is unable to show it any other way and that I should move in with him. Thoughts people? For one your friends gave you horrible advise. In elementary school it might work like that but not when you are a grown up. It is really up to you. Can you handle being around someone you are in love with all day every day? Believe me that is difficult and just causes pain. In the beginning you can shut down those feelings but after a while it becomes more and more difficult. I am talking from experience. And lsometimes a friendship is more valuable. What if you guys would give it a try and it would not work out. Chances are you would also loose a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 14, 2021 Share Posted January 14, 2021 TBH, you really can't be friends with this guy either. You are in love with him and just being around him knowing he doesn't feel the same must be soul crushing for you. You actually need to distance yourself from him so you can heal from his rejection. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted January 15, 2021 Share Posted January 15, 2021 Only move in if you can and do date other guys - if you find a real boyfriend, the problem will be solved. That said, a lot of people can't do that, I understand. Link to post Share on other sites
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