ZA Dater Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 First off, some context, we have been locked down for 290 odd days so far with a curfew. In 2019 I went on a date with someone and it was an OK date, everything sort of went nowhere because she was travelling and to be fair I not massively interested. We ended up chatting during the the mid part of 2020 and eventually met up again, she really made an effort and dressed up but this is once again one of those times where I just feel nothing at all. Objectively, single, 37, no kids, decent job, self supporting should be appealing but just the whole date was me working hard to keep the conversation going and when I did not there was silence. She is not really into partying and drinking which is a bonus and objectively some of our likes are similar. Chatted a bit after that on W app but pretty much gone silent, she went and liked me on Tinder. Should I put in more effort here, am I the issue here? The problem and I am learning it might be my problem is for me I have to actually feel something but more often than not I end up feeling for the near impossible, the more unlikely the more I like the idea. Anyone else have this issue? Its like I like an idea but partly because the idea is so unlikely that it holds a certain fascination. What also irritated me was I really did not feel the need to bring out my A game on this date, too much awkwardness I could not hide and quiet moments. Connecting is my issue it seems, however there is a certain type of person I connect very well with, never mutually but I do know what type of person that is and they are ALWAYS super confident. Overall I feel bad about this date, bad about not feeling anything, just bad.
Blind-Sided Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 Attraction is hard to put a finger on. After my divorce, I went out with a few girls who were nice, had a good job, and had a lot to offer. But............ Nothing. Heck, one of the girls was the head of Youth Services of the county I live in. (Could have been useful since I was being accused of abuse) But, after an evening with her... I just wasn't feeling it. There was a second girl who was young, and pretty. I enjoyed being out with her... but I couldn't bring myself to even give her a proper hug. I think both of those cases... it was just me, and nothing to do with them. In my head... I wanted to go out, but I wasn't really ready to move on from a 20 year relationship with my ex.
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