oldschoolromantic Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 This past Wednesday, right after the Capitol riots, a friend of mine posted something to Instagram that I found disturbing, and seemed in support of the violence. I texted her about it and she said she didn’t support the violence. Nevertheless a disagreement ensued, and we left things on sort of a tense note. Later in the week she posted something in her Instagram story and I took that as an opportunity to reach out. She told me she was pissed at me and at several family members regarding comments made over the course of the week. Long story short, we both shared perspectives and seem to have cooled off and accepted our differences. Nevertheless, I feel as though I initially offended her and think the best course of action would be to back off and lay low for a while. I value the friendship and don’t want the continued political tensions to come between us. (Note: she lives in a different state so social media/text is really our only source to stay connected these days.) Any thoughts?
Alpacalia Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 48 minutes ago, oldschoolromantic said: Any thoughts? The best you can do is apologize for any hurtful remarks and then let it go and not engage with family/friends in political discussions on social media (good luck with that... lol).
Wiseman2 Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 Don't comment on her politics. It's Her social media and she can muse about whatever she wants whether you agree or not. Stay away from confronting people because you are disturbed by it. If she's that offensive to you, mute her on social media. Reserve political discussion for like minded people. Unless you wish to distance yourself from her because her attitude is upsetting. 1 1
d0nnivain Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 I think you are already past it. Carry on with the friendship but stop discussing politics. 2
elaine567 Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 12 hours ago, oldschoolromantic said: Nevertheless, I feel as though I initially offended her and think the best course of action would be to back off and lay low for a while. If the air has been cleared as it sounds like it was, then backing off will introduce tension and likely induce her to back off in return if she is still feeling a bit put out, and before you know it, your friendship will be over. Your only point of contact is via social media/text, so if you choose to close it down, then what have you got left? Nothing. "Space" can work in disputes but I have a feeling "space" causes more rifts than fixes. 1
FudgeSwirl Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 If things are okay between you both now, you should proceed as normal. When people post anything political on social media even though they should maturely expect and handle a difference of opinion, the truth is they are only looking for people to agree with them. If in the future she or anybody you know posts something political that irks you or makes you want to cringe, as hard as it may be just keep scrolling. 1
basil67 Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 I've unfollowed people who have political opinions which I'm not interested in hearing. I've unfollowed people who's opinions I am interested in but who post too many of them. I've unfollowed the antivaxxers and the conspiracy theorists and those who post rubbish stuff which a quick check on Snopes would debunk I've unfollowed those who complain that kids no longer sing the national anthem every morning (we never did do that...it was only once a week and was God Save The Queen) , I've unfollowed those who complain that kids no longer learn cursive (they still learn it), I've unfollowed those who write about how we drove around without seatbelts and nobody died (people did die) and that kids all worked hard at school and everyone learned to read (they didn't) For me, social media is somewhere I go to relax. I'm mostly there for my hobby groups anyway. If stuff makes me cross, it's easier to unfollow them than have to sit on my fingers trying to ignore. @oldschoolromantic Unfollow your friend. It will allow you to continue the friendship without getting cross at the stuff they post. Or at least, it works for me.
dramafreezone Posted January 12, 2021 Posted January 12, 2021 Don't talk politics with friends if you have conflicting ideologies.
LuckyM Posted January 22, 2021 Posted January 22, 2021 Actually this happened with me and an old friend over 2 months ago. We haven't spoken since. I hung up on him when he said some ridiculous comments only partly related to politics. I am waiting for his call. He loves talking. But this is a riff and long time. Sorry no advice
Wiseman2 Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 As long as she's not posting offensive content on your social media, you have to just ignore it.
Fletch Lives Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 People today seem to be more opinionated than ever before. Don't beat yourself up over it. I try to stay away from controversial subjects like politics, religion and sex. It's just easier that way.
Watercolors Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 Where religion and politics are concerned, I stay away from those topics on social media with friends and family as they always incite arguments. It's just not worth arguing with people I otherwise like, about how much our beliefs actually clash over those two topics. On 1/10/2021 at 7:26 PM, oldschoolromantic said: I feel as though I initially offended her and think the best course of action would be to back off and lay low for a while. I value the friendship and don’t want the continued political tensions to come between us. (Note: she lives in a different state so social media/text is really our only source to stay connected these days.) Definitely lay low for a while and just don't respond to anymore posts she writes about politics. Ask yourself if its worth getting into a tizzy with your good friend about. A friend of mine from high school posted something on her FB recently about our former president and she tried to bait those who didn't support him. I remained mum, because I knew it would be a mistake to try to refute what she posted. People believe what they want to believe. Is it my job to force them to change their beliefs? Nope.
littleblackheart Posted January 24, 2021 Posted January 24, 2021 On 11/01/2021 at 1:26 AM, oldschoolromantic said: She told me she was pissed at me and at several family members regarding comments made over the course of the week. Were these comments made by you also over politics, or was it about something else?
Mrin Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 The woman I am dating and I have completely different political views. I'm pretty liberal she she's... Not. Lol. I've always been a student of politics and the legal system so I have a vast amount of knowledge to call upon. she's pretty new to politics and feels very strongly about certain things. So having a debate even if it's friendly is sort of a one-sided affair given the discrepancy of knowledge. We've decided that we will just not talk politics. Ever. For the most part that works like a champ.
Zona Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 I was always told by my father that there are three things you should never talk about with friends, acquaintances, coworkers, etc. Politics, religion and money. I think it was good advice and I still follow it to this day.
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 Everyone was taught that & IMO it's how we got in the partisan mess where we are. Nobody is open to hearing new / different ideas.
Ellener Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 Unfortunately people's thoughtless comments sometimes show their deeper values. I have been unable to repair the friendship with a friend after I learned her husband was a child sex offender. Any kind of violence or abuse especially without remorse or with attempts to justify or normalise it are crossing a line and too unhealthy to me. I'd be taking a 'social worker' or charitable role to try to be friends with someone whose behaviour I despised, I think. My religion plays on that a lot so I do think about it, and sometimes the kindest thing is just walk away if it's not my business. They aren't 'just opinions' either when crossing some lines, like the people who don't believe in infection control, that's a risk assessment! Don't know how people ever confused that with politics, that's a new thing. I remember going to a job once and a nurse saying casually after I'd started work, oh we have a ringworm outbreak, it desn't seem too bad though...which was also breaching professionalism and medical procedure as well as really annoying- the appointment should have been cancelled and could have cost me weeks off work subsequently. I wasn't very friendly with her afterwards!
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