OLD Worth it or nah?

[sushiandtacos]

Do you guys have recommendations for apps over the others? I know some of them have stereotypes or more for "hooking up"? 

[Weezy1973]

2 hours ago, sushiandtacos said:

Do you guys have recommendations for apps over the others? I know some of them have stereotypes or more for "hooking up"? 

When I did it I was on Tinder, Bumble, POF, OKCupid and eHarmony. They all can be hook up apps or not depending on if you like hooking up or not. If you’re looking for a relationship make that clear in your profile. 
 

Of those I probably liked OKCupid the best because it was kind of interesting to answer all the matching questions. eHarmony is expensive, and very different (way fewer people on there, but also way more relationship oriented). Tinder and Bumble are similar swiping apps but with Bumble women have to message first. POF was probably my least favorite.

 

Really, like anything in life you get out of it what you put in. When I put effort into my profile, especially with recent accurate pics, I had way more success.

[salparadise]

Don't go on Tinder saying you're only interested in a serious relationship. I'm not saying it's not possible to meet someone that way, just that everyone knows the context and you'll have no credibility. That doesn't mean you have to hookup, but leave the whole feigning demure routine out.

I like OkCupid, even though it's a shadow of its former self now. It matches by the questions and answers with an algorithm, which isn't too bad at all. If you answer 2-300 question and have a match score in the high 90s you can presume that you have quite a bit in common as far as worldview and preferences. That doesn't mean you'll have chemistry, but you can get a lot closer than meeting random people on Tinder or whatever. You can also read the questions on which you did not match to see if there are any dealbreakers. My two longest and best relationships came out of OKC, both 99 percent matches.

[Azincourt]

Depends on your age.

OLD is for middle-aged(35+) and for the senior citizens of the world(65+). You might very well meet a good boyfriend or girlfriend there. If you are young(18-25) I reckon tinder and any other app like tinder will be more profitable.

[Trail Blazer]

On 1/12/2021 at 11:12 AM, Dash23 said:

For better or worse, I consider myself a “seasoned vet” of the modern dating apps. It’s no secret that males have it better on these apps than females. There is no shortage of stunning, successful women to date that are genuinely looking for a connection.  There are even many who are in a state of wanting something more casual. Sure, there is a lot of inevitable ghosting, people just on for brief attention and women have to deal with more catfishing, outdated pics, guys who are secretly married, guys just wanting ONS’s, etc.  The ratio of high-quality potential female partners far outweighs that of the men, but it’s not to say there isn’t any great men out there – there’s typically just much more of a weeding out process.

That's an interesting perspective you have there.  I'd love to know what data it's based on?  Did you know that recent data suggests that men outnumber women on Tinder nine-to-one? 

According to you, the ratio of high-quality females far outweighs males, yet the ratio of total male members far outweighs that of the number of females. 

To me, that doesn't suggest that OLD is a problem, but rather males in general.  Unless, of course, your suggestion is that high-quality men do not use OLD at all.  If so, why?  Why does OLD attract "top-quality women, but only the dregs when it comes to men?

So, to suggest that men have it better than women on dating apps with such an imbalance is a rather curious claim.  I'm not sure I really follow, just how, that could be possible.

When you consider the anecdotal evidence which suggests that most men get little-to-no response from women on OLD whilst most women get tired from having to weed through far too many options, I'm not sure that your claim rings true.

 

[MRSR31]

On 1/10/2021 at 5:16 PM, sushiandtacos said:

How do you solely look at this as a numbers game without any ounce of investment in order to prevent losses/wasting time?

 

I get lonelier than I am frustrated and I try again. Develop your own strategy. I am moving toward facetiming first to rule out. I am moving toward ensuring they are capable of meeting my cerebral needs in advance of meeting because chemistry is more malleable than compatibility. My days of crushing via text are long gone. Make then work for your attention. Afterall females make concessions for lack of physical appeal whereas males do not.   

Edited January 14, 2021 by MRSR31
females misspelled

[Erik30]

Worth it, but not right now during the pandemic... since you can't really meet up anyway. (And I'm not interested in virtual dates) Too many bored people who just want someone to talk to are using the apps to get through the lockdown.

[sushiandtacos]

[Update] 

I made my profile! Thanks guys for the thoughts and advice!

[TooManyDates]

OLD is pretty much in a holding pattern right now, this is the slowest January ever (which is annually the busiest time) due to covid restrictions.  It was crazy busy last summer/fall but it seems most women are in hibernation right now.

[Dash23]

On 1/14/2021 at 1:13 AM, Trail Blazer said:

That's an interesting perspective you have there.  I'd love to know what data it's based on?  Did you know that recent data suggests that men outnumber women on Tinder nine-to-one? 

According to you, the ratio of high-quality females far outweighs males, yet the ratio of total male members far outweighs that of the number of females. 

To me, that doesn't suggest that OLD is a problem, but rather males in general.  Unless, of course, your suggestion is that high-quality men do not use OLD at all.  If so, why?  Why does OLD attract "top-quality women, but only the dregs when it comes to men?

So, to suggest that men have it better than women on dating apps with such an imbalance is a rather curious claim.  I'm not sure I really follow, just how, that could be possible.

When you consider the anecdotal evidence which suggests that most men get little-to-no response from women on OLD whilst most women get tired from having to weed through far too many options, I'm not sure that your claim rings true.

 

Great question and a solid topic for debate.  Yeah, that is no surprise that men outnumber women on tinder by that amount. I’d go as far as to guestimate that men outnumber women on any dating platform for the most part.

My data is based on a sweeping generalization I’ve made after using majority of these apps over 7+ years. But that generalization also includes feedback that I’ve got from a lot of the women I’ve talked to with online (and met) with regards to their OLD experiences. To be a bit clearer, it’s not just a generalization of from my own male perspective, but patterns I’ve noticed from the female side of it all.  Regardless, take what I say with a grain of salt, obviously.

Honestly, one of the most fun ice breaking questions I ask every woman I meet in person is how their OLD experience has been and if they got any fun success stories or horror stories.  Sure, there is a lot of good that many of them have experienced.  But if I told you even a pinch of the absurd stuff that many of these women have had to deal with, you would think it was written for a dark comedy.

I’ve been single for much of the OLD app phenomenon and I’ve been to over 40 countries and have met a few hundred women probably at this point. And I can honestly count on one hand the number of really mehhhh meet ups that I have – a couple women that stood me up, and maybbbbbbee one that didn’t really look that close to her photos. Everyone else has been quite pleasant and normal even if we didn’t have chemistry. Now compare that to the women I’ve heard from who have barely dabbled in OLD compared to me and have far more “twilight zone” strange stories? It got to a point where I was like “yeah I’ve heard enough, this is way more of a s***storm for women”.

As to your further comment, yes, I am suggesting that a lot of the men on OLD are a problem LOL.  And if they outnumber the women by 9-1 as you mentioned? Then there is always going to be a plethora of low-quality men lurking on them. As for the anecdotal evidence on here you mentioned of that men get little to no response – women complain a lot about this too (“let’s match and never talk!” “if you’re going to match me and not say hi, then don’t bother”, etc. etc.) And no, I’m not letting women off the hook as it is true and many of them will match and not respond.

If you’re a decent looking guy who isn’t sitting beside a sedated tiger or holding a big fish (yes there is a tonne of these male profiles), then you’re going to get a lot matches even though the women typically have more matches/options. When I said that males have it easier on these apps than females, I think a better way of reframing it is this: men will typically have much better odds of having more quality experiences while women will typically have much better odds of having to deal with more peculiar situations along their OLD journeys.

TLDR:

Men outnumber women on OLD, while women outnumber men for having far more unfavorable/bizarre OLD occurrences.

[Fletch Lives]

On 1/12/2021 at 10:57 AM, miss2017 said:

Always connect with your intuition and how you feel. If you do, you do not need to be afraid of anything.

This is rule number one. Go with your gut. Your head and your heart are liars.

[sushiandtacos]

Hey guys sorry to annoy you guys by continuing this thread, I tried to PM some members but it seems I don't have that feature yet. 

I'm sensing a common pattern that a lot of the guys that I match with start the conversation and we start chatting but then they stop replying. I'll be honest sometimes it takes me a few hours to reply due to work and being busy but I always try my best to respond but then they stop responding  Is this a common thing that they reach out then stop trying?

[SumGuy]

On 1/12/2021 at 3:21 PM, sushiandtacos said:

Do you guys have recommendations for apps over the others? I know some of them have stereotypes or more for "hooking up"? 

Pay apps over free.  Where I live Plenty of Fish and Tinder are at the top of the "hooking up" apps, OKCupid not far behind.   The lesser known free ones seemed to have a lot of fake women profiles.

Match and eHarmony seem to be the most relationship focused where I live, but a lot of people have issues with how eHarmony does the matching for you.

[SumGuy]

25 minutes ago, sushiandtacos said:

Hey guys sorry to annoy you guys by continuing this thread, I tried to PM some members but it seems I don't have that feature yet. 

I'm sensing a common pattern that a lot of the guys that I match with start the conversation and we start chatting but then they stop replying. I'll be honest sometimes it takes me a few hours to reply due to work and being busy but I always try my best to respond but then they stop responding  Is this a common thing that they reach out then stop trying?

Yes, it is fairly common in my experience.  In the best of all possible worlds people would conclude and say (politely) they are not interested before stopping text/messaging, but alas once you have a few experiences where the other person badgers you for why fading becomes all too common.  I did make a habit if it was going well and met someone else to be honest about that.  Never had a negative response to that.

Not sure your age, but in my book anyone who needs you to reply in less than 8 hours (the length of a work day), if your are not in the middle of a live texting conversation, are too impatient and/or judgmental and/or wrapped up in social media for me.  Most people have lives, work and responsibilities and hanging on social media is not, and should not, be at the top of the list.  That said, I did try to get to my OLD stuff at regular times (like at noon and at 7pm) to provide some predictability.

[dramafreezone]

It definitely seems worth it for women if they have the time to invest.  Many women have tons of matches delivered to your fingertips, so if you're just willing to sift through the rif raff you'll probably find something you want.

That's just from my vantage point as a guy.  I don't think OLD works to most guy's advantage.  I feel better off meeting people in person.

[SumGuy]

10 hours ago, Dash23 said:

...

Men outnumber women on OLD, while women outnumber men for having far more unfavorable/bizarre OLD occurrences.

Exactly my experience.  It is amazing how being just a basic decent human being as a man (I'm a man by the way) makes you "exceptional" it seems in OLD. 

I never had trouble finding great women to meet and date, even if it didn't work out, and very, very few misleading profiles, or other bad experiences.  Also every women I met through OLD when we shared OLD stories (agree it is a good ice breaker to share such stories) had her fair share of men behaving beyond belief stories, some down right scary.

I would say the dregs build up in OLD, the good ones (male and female) don't.  Certainly a "good one" may come back on as things don't always work out, but there is not a build up of them.  This is one reason I recommend pay sites, as it is easy for a "dreg" to remain on a free site without changing themselves or what they are doing.  Still have dregs on pay sites, just believe a lesser percentage.

[Weezy1973]

11 hours ago, sushiandtacos said:

Hey guys sorry to annoy you guys by continuing this thread, I tried to PM some members but it seems I don't have that feature yet. 

I'm sensing a common pattern that a lot of the guys that I match with start the conversation and we start chatting but then they stop replying. I'll be honest sometimes it takes me a few hours to reply due to work and being busy but I always try my best to respond but then they stop responding  Is this a common thing that they reach out then stop trying?

Everything is “normal”. Just block and move on.

[Alpacalia]

A female friend recently joined and she said within a few hours of joining she was inundated with unsavory male anatomy photos, married men in search of discreet encounters, and a barrage of verbal put downs.

I'm sure it has its good merits, and I know of some that have met their spouses from it, but I think there is a reason why it's suggested one must have a "thick skin" for online dating.

Edited January 16, 2021 by Alpaca

[Miss Spider]

That sucks. Some people can act a certain way when they’re hiding behind a screen 

[d0nnivain]

19 hours ago, sushiandtacos said:

I'm sensing a common pattern that a lot of the guys that I match with start the conversation and we start chatting but then they stop replying. I'll be honest sometimes it takes me a few hours to reply due to work and being busy but I always try my best to respond but then they stop responding  Is this a common thing that they reach out then stop trying?

I have no experience with this but what I have read here on LS is that many people expect daily contact & instant replies.  If you take longer than 1 hour to respond or don't talk to these strangers on a daily basis they conclude that you don't have a high enough interest in them & they disappear. 

 

Personally I can't go from 0 to 60 that fast & don't want to talk to a new person daily.  I am certainly not going to jump because they posted / responded.  I rarely turn on notification features on any aps.  I dealt with OLD one hour per day in the evening not all day every day. 

[Fletch Lives]

On 1/11/2021 at 7:42 PM, Dash23 said:

It’s no secret that males have it better on these apps than females. There is no shortage of stunning, successful women

I see the opposite online - plenty of shallow golddiggers and people with issues. 

However, you only need to find one good one.

[sushiandtacos]

11 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

I have no experience with this but what I have read here on LS is that many people expect daily contact & instant replies.  If you take longer than 1 hour to respond or don't talk to these strangers on a daily basis they conclude that you don't have a high enough interest in them & they disappear. 

 

Personally I can't go from 0 to 60 that fast & don't want to talk to a new person daily.  I am certainly not going to jump because they posted / responded.  I rarely turn on notification features on any aps.  I dealt with OLD one hour per day in the evening not all day every day. 

Oh interesting I didn't think about how they would think that I would be less interested if I don't reply for a few hours  but I agree with you too, I can't just start replying right away or gain a lot of interest just by messaging back and forth a few times lol. 

[Miss Spider]

On 1/12/2021 at 3:21 PM, sushiandtacos said:

Do you guys have recommendations for apps over the others? I know some of them have stereotypes or more for "hooking up"? 

I don’t know but I liked tinder and OKcupid the best. 

Edited January 17, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Fox Sake]

On 1/11/2021 at 1:16 AM, sushiandtacos said:

I have gotten out of a relationship due to long distance and various reasons around a year ago and went on very few dates this year due to the pandemic via mutual friends and guys I've met. It's really difficult to date right now due to everything and some friends suggested dating apps. I've heard really nightmarish stories from some friends and this forum () with OLD dating such has ghosting that has led to endless confusion, guys who are only on there for one thing, etc etc. But I've also heard about the success stories albeit rare. I am interested in trying it out!

Any advice/tips and precautions when using them and talking to guys? How do you guys deal with the burnout associated with them especially after bad experiences and dates since it's apparently a numbers game? The main thing I picked up from your guys' posts was to text less and meet sooner so that there isn't a false intimacy established before meeting in person. Another big thing is to have thick skin when dealing with ppl from OLD to easily spot and delete the bad ones. I'm a little worried that I will start liking someone I meet on the app and develop feelings, then have things end disastrously. Also scared about feeling encouraged to try again and have bad experiences repeat. How do you solely look at this as a numbers game without any ounce of investment in order to prevent losses/wasting time?

 

I’ll say don’t waste your time. Just try and enjoy being lonely haha! I’ve wasted so much money, time and self respect OLD. I feel like I’m surrounded by tumble weed and it’s made me feel pretty low value , lonely and worthless,  especially the last few months. Which I’m not. people judge everything on how you look and stereotype you instantly. 

If you’re down for some self punishment then go for for it, but OLD has lost its charm I think.  Everyone just window shops and judges , and you have to quantify how awesome you are in a paragraph. That’s an experience. Not a paragraph. Maybe in a less remote area I may have more luck so don’t take my world as gospel. Just a frustrated experience the last few years! 
 

[Trail Blazer]

17 hours ago, Fox Sake said:

I’ll say don’t waste your time. Just try and enjoy being lonely haha! I’ve wasted so much money, time and self respect OLD. I feel like I’m surrounded by tumble weed and it’s made me feel pretty low value , lonely and worthless,  especially the last few months. Which I’m not. people judge everything on how you look and stereotype you instantly. 

If you’re down for some self punishment then go for for it, but OLD has lost its charm I think.  Everyone just window shops and judges , and you have to quantify how awesome you are in a paragraph. That’s an experience. Not a paragraph. Maybe in a less remote area I may have more luck so don’t take my world as gospel. Just a frustrated experience the last few years! 
 

Sorry to hear that's been your experience, bro!  I definitely think living in a small town wouldn't help!  I'm lucky enough to live (on the outskirts) of a decent-sized city, so the swiping choices have always been there.

Did you ever try swipey-dating apps in a bigger city?  I've used Tinder and Bumble is cities much bigger than my own and found a strong correlation between the population of a city and the amount of matches I'd receive.