OLD Worth it or nah?

[sushiandtacos]

I have gotten out of a relationship due to long distance and various reasons around a year ago and went on very few dates this year due to the pandemic via mutual friends and guys I've met. It's really difficult to date right now due to everything and some friends suggested dating apps. I've heard really nightmarish stories from some friends and this forum () with OLD dating such has ghosting that has led to endless confusion, guys who are only on there for one thing, etc etc. But I've also heard about the success stories albeit rare. I am interested in trying it out!

Any advice/tips and precautions when using them and talking to guys? How do you guys deal with the burnout associated with them especially after bad experiences and dates since it's apparently a numbers game? The main thing I picked up from your guys' posts was to text less and meet sooner so that there isn't a false intimacy established before meeting in person. Another big thing is to have thick skin when dealing with ppl from OLD to easily spot and delete the bad ones. I'm a little worried that I will start liking someone I meet on the app and develop feelings, then have things end disastrously. Also scared about feeling encouraged to try again and have bad experiences repeat. How do you solely look at this as a numbers game without any ounce of investment in order to prevent losses/wasting time?

 

[Miss Spider]

Worth it. It’s another way to meet people and can be fun. Even if it doesn’t work out, give it a shot. If you feel burnt out, delete it. I think it works best for me when I don’t check it often and just use it as one of the many ways to meet people. Avoiding disappointment is a tricky one. 
 

Disappointment is part of life.
you can fear it, but that is just a detour, because you will most likely face it even if you try to avoid it. However, it’s helpful to keep things into perspective and have the attitude of “ if it’s meant to be, it will work out and if it’s not meant to be, oh well” easier said than done but remember we are all works in progress.  What’s not working for you, revise. There’s always better experience down the road. Don’t have high too high of expectations and you won’t feel too disappointed. 

Edited January 11, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Disappointment is part of life.
you can fear it, but that is just a detour, because you will most likely face it even if you try to avoid it. However, it’s helpful to keep things into perspective and have the attitude of “ if it’s meant to be, it will work out and if it’s not meant to be, oh well” easier said than done but remember we are all works in progress.  What’s not working for you, revise. There’s always better experience down the road. Don’t have high too high of expectations and you won’t feel too disappointed. 

Amen sista. 

Edited January 11, 2021 by poppyfields

[sushiandtacos]

14 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Worth it. It’s another way to meet people and can be fun. Even if it doesn’t work out, give it a shot. If you feel burnt out, delete it. I think it works best for me when I don’t check it often and just use it as one of the many ways to meet people. Avoiding disappointment is a tricky one. 
 

Disappointment is part of life.
you can fear it, but that is just a detour, because you will most likely face it even if you try to avoid it. However, it’s helpful to keep things into perspective and have the attitude of “ if it’s meant to be, it will work out and if it’s not meant to be, oh well” easier said than done but remember we are all works in progress.  What’s not working for you, revise. There’s always better experience down the road. Don’t have high too high of expectations and you won’t feel too disappointed. 

Wow I love this thank you

[chillii]

Far from an expert only went on them a very short stint , buttt, l'm one of the good stories , it does happen and l've heard of plenty of others too over the yrs.

My tips always the same , which no body likes bc they seem to just prefer to date date date, anything, everything, no picker, even if they are wasting their time, hence them burning themselves out .  Butttt, one more time won't hurt l suppose but be selective, use your picker carefully - do you understand what that means , do you have the patience to wait for those few someones you might find on there , might , that could be really worthwhile when everything looks right for you. They're the only ones you bother with it's about quality not quantity .

So many people in forums call it a numbers game , which l think is ridiculous and just more of the above and all the reasons why they have such a hard time and burn out. 10-yrs and a 1000 dates later they 're still saying it and wondering why.

Edited January 11, 2021 by chillii

[sushiandtacos]

7 minutes ago, chillii said:

Far from an expert only went on them a very short stint , buttt, l'm one of the good stories , it does happen and l've heard of plenty of others too over the yrs.

My tips always the same , which no body likes bc they seem to just prefer to date date date, anything, everything, no picker, even if they are wasting their time, hence them burning themselves out .  Butttt, one more time won't hurt l suppose but be selective, use your picker carefully - do you understand what that means , do you have the patience to wait for those few someones you might find on there , might , that could be really worthwhile when everything looks right for you. They're the only ones you bother with it's about quality not quantity .

So many people in forums call it a numbers game , which l think is ridiculous and just more of the above and all the reasons why they have such a hard time and burn out. 10-yrs and a 1000 dates later they 're still saying it and wondering why.

Very true for sure quality over quantity. I guess my question now is how do you select ones over the others without going on dates to essentially get to know them? I've seen so many posts about getting to know them in person rather than texting so I was curious on what criteria you suggest on selecting before dating them. 

[chillii]

Not directed at you personally bc it seems really really common , but l can never understand people not just knowing it when they see it in someone or knowing exactly what they like. l know what l like and although it's very rare when l did see it l knew it . Their face , pics and things they say even on a profile should all strike a very special cord to you. lf they aren't doing that it's a waste of time and you can easily spot that even on a date site if he or she is there. Just like RL it doesn't mean the pieces will come together when you meet but it's got a far far better chance than any others . This is why l never understand people just aimlessly dating dating, most go on yrs doing that and seem to just blindly shoot at anything , some decades, why do they even bother.

Edited January 11, 2021 by chillii

[Weezy1973]

Worth it but have realistic expectations. Online dating isn’t like dating in real life. Real life dating generally you get to know someone through real life (school, work, activities, friends etc.) and then progress,  after some time and chemistry has developed you progress to dating. On your first date you already like each other. There’s already chemistry. The first date, is really just the start of the relationship. 
 

Online dating is just the opposite. You’re meeting strangers, most of which won’t be a match. A first date most of the time will also be the last date. If you go in with the expectations of real life dating, you’re bound to be disappointed. But if you take it for what it is, OLD can be a lot of fun. And I met my wife through OLD, so yes it can work.

[BlockRockingBeats]

Awesome username!

Basically, OLD works for some and not for others. The sifting is the hardest part. Some of the things you need to look out for for starts:

the 'old school romantics' aka  intense, those who 'live in the moment' aka pro ghosters, those who've been there years aka players, those describing themselves as 'good looking' when their pic is right there in plain sight, those who have a group selfie aka they're not the one you think they are, the 'separated' guys, the obvious multidaters aka STD central, those with a pic but no profile, and those who are great 'on paper' but not for you and vice-versa.

 Don't do it half-heartedly thinking the guy of your dreams will turn up on day 2, girl! It happens, but it's not the norm.

Do you have your own house in order, aka no emotional baggage, mentally and physically at your best, feeling cool, calm and collected? Do you know what you want from a guy? OLD is a merry-go-around, the switched-on guys will jump off the first chance they get depending on the competition so better be at the top of your game!

[d0nnivain]

11 hours ago, sushiandtacos said:

Any advice/tips and precautions when using them and talking to guys?

How do you guys deal with the burnout associated with them especially after bad experiences and dates since it's apparently a numbers game?

 How do you solely look at this as a numbers game without any ounce of investment in order to prevent losses/wasting time?

Think of the OLD platform like a bar.  In a bar there are lots of people, some you want to talk to, most you don't.  You may walk past dozens of people without engaging.  You may smile & nod, before moving on or you may spend a few minutes.  Maybe you dance with 1-2 people.  Every so often you may give your contact info & meet up later for a date.  It's more weeding out then connecting, with no emotional investment.

The scrolling, the clicking, the liking are you walking through that bar, nothing more.  If you smile at some guy but he doesn't talk to you, you don't get all upset.  You just move on.  You have to do that on line too.

Also until you meet, invest nothing emotionally.  Assume you are going to be disappointed.  Unless you have a great picker, if something feels off, don't bother.  Just end communication & move along. 

 

10 hours ago, sushiandtacos said:

 how do you select ones over the others without going on dates to essentially get to know them?

As for the #s game, you need a good filter.  Meeting earlier is good but change your mindset.That 1st meet is NOT a date.  It's a meeting, nothing more.  You use it to confirm the person who sent you pictures is the person standing before you & you assess whether you actually want to go on a date.  This meeting is not a date.  It should be short & cheap.  You should be prepared to pay your own way for your coffee,

[Ellener]

~nah!

I'm glad I did it but I don't have enough interest to try it again. 

 

 

[BlockRockingBeats]

1 minute ago, Ellener said:

~nah!

I'm glad I did it but I don't have enough interest to try it again. 

 

 

Yes to this! All the advice I have is second hand only! I met my current dude online but not on OLD. Would not do it even if you paid me!

[sushiandtacos]

Thanks guys all the posts are super insightful and encouraging, much appreciated 

[sushiandtacos]

9 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

Think of the OLD platform like a bar.  In a bar there are lots of people, some you want to talk to, most you don't.  You may walk past dozens of people without engaging.  You may smile & nod, before moving on or you may spend a few minutes.  Maybe you dance with 1-2 people.  Every so often you may give your contact info & meet up later for a date.  It's more weeding out then connecting, with no emotional investment.

The scrolling, the clicking, the liking are you walking through that bar, nothing more.  If you smile at some guy but he doesn't talk to you, you don't get all upset.  You just move on.  You have to do that on line too.

Also until you meet, invest nothing emotionally.  Assume you are going to be disappointed.  Unless you have a great picker, if something feels off, don't bother.  Just end communication & move along. 

 

As for the #s game, you need a good filter.  Meeting earlier is good but change your mindset.That 1st meet is NOT a date.  It's a meeting, nothing more.  You use it to confirm the person who sent you pictures is the person standing before you & you assess whether you actually want to go on a date.  This meeting is not a date.  It should be short & cheap.  You should be prepared to pay your own way for your coffee,

I really like the bar analogy I feel like the apps are like a virtual version for sure lol. 

[Dash23]

For better or worse, I consider myself a “seasoned vet” of the modern dating apps. It’s no secret that males have it better on these apps than females. There is no shortage of stunning, successful women to date that are genuinely looking for a connection.  There are even many who are in a state of wanting something more casual. Sure, there is a lot of inevitable ghosting, people just on for brief attention and women have to deal with more catfishing, outdated pics, guys who are secretly married, guys just wanting ONS’s, etc.  The ratio of high-quality potential female partners far outweighs that of the men, but it’s not to say there isn’t any great men out there – there’s typically just much more of a weeding out process.

It’s funny now because it is promoted as the covid “norm” on the OLD apps, but quick cam chats can be a huge time saver. After getting so many matches, even brief coffee dates start getting inconvenient at times, especially to find out you often weren’t a match in person. One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard from women on these apps is how there is no spark upon meet up, social skills weren’t up to par and such. Texting is far too easy for most, but when it’s time to really talk IRL, you can tell rather quickly if there is even a chance.  Most the OLD apps have camera chat options integrated within them now, so you don’t even have to give guys your number which is great.  I know there are quite a few people who think the cam thing is weird, but if a guy is far too resistant to giving it a quick go after some initial text connection, then that should be a negative sign. And if you aren’t feeling it from the cam chat, you just saved yourself weeks of possible endless texting and a future meet up in person that was going to fail anyhow.

I’ve seen it all, heard it all from others, and experienced it all myself from these apps at this point.  I’ve dated people for multiple years, lived abroad with partners, had casual fun including knocking things off my “bucket list”, met travel companions, and made nice friends and good networking connections that have helped me with all sorts of things. Bottom line is, people can call tinder and some of these apps “hook up” apps, but it is what you make of them. I dated someone for 2 years off of Tinder who is still friends with my family and I to this day, and as many of others have stated, there are tonnes of success stories from these apps now.

Sure, it can eat up a lot of time if you’re not careful, and I do think it adds even more to the “Nexting” culture because there are so many more options right at one’s fingers tips to fall back on at any time.  But for all the people that b**** and moan about how much they hate OLD and wish they could organically meet their future partner by reaching for that last head of lettuce in the grocery store…let’s get serious now and discuss the reality of the situation.

Most of us are super busy adults, maybe kids, don’t go to bars anymore, don’t date people from our work for obvious reasons, go to the gym to work out and not eyeball potential partners, maybe do odd weekly community stuff but that’s even a stretch for most. Therefore, options of meeting someone are very scarce.  But you could swipe and send a few messages while you’re waiting in the lobby for your dentist appointment, hell I know women who only check their apps while they are on the toilet LOL.  Bottom line is these apps provide people that you would NEVER have the possibility of meeting otherwise.  I’ve had some instances where I have matched with women who I had a huge crush on when I was a kid but never had to nerve to talk to back then – and matching with them led to dates that were always a blast, full of reminiscing, even if we didn’t work out in the end! It felt like a Butterfly Effect situation where these apps made it possible for me to experience that.

Anyhow, I could go on for days about the positives and negatives about modern OLD, so if you have any more specific questions, I’m more than happy to help. The key is to temper your expectations, find what works best so you don’t waste time burning yourself out with deadbeats, and don’t get bent out of shape if it doesn’t work out with someone new that you liked. Remember that it’s never personal, and there’s a well of other matches that await

TLDR:

Worth it.

[sushiandtacos]

1 hour ago, Dash23 said:

For better or worse, I consider myself a “seasoned vet” of the modern dating apps. It’s no secret that males have it better on these apps than females. There is no shortage of stunning, successful women to date that are genuinely looking for a connection.  There are even many who are in a state of wanting something more casual. Sure, there is a lot of inevitable ghosting, people just on for brief attention and women have to deal with more catfishing, outdated pics, guys who are secretly married, guys just wanting ONS’s, etc.  The ratio of high-quality potential female partners far outweighs that of the men, but it’s not to say there isn’t any great men out there – there’s typically just much more of a weeding out process.

It’s funny now because it is promoted as the covid “norm” on the OLD apps, but quick cam chats can be a huge time saver. After getting so many matches, even brief coffee dates start getting inconvenient at times, especially to find out you often weren’t a match in person. One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard from women on these apps is how there is no spark upon meet up, social skills weren’t up to par and such. Texting is far too easy for most, but when it’s time to really talk IRL, you can tell rather quickly if there is even a chance.  Most the OLD apps have camera chat options integrated within them now, so you don’t even have to give guys your number which is great.  I know there are quite a few people who think the cam thing is weird, but if a guy is far too resistant to giving it a quick go after some initial text connection, then that should be a negative sign. And if you aren’t feeling it from the cam chat, you just saved yourself weeks of possible endless texting and a future meet up in person that was going to fail anyhow.

I’ve seen it all, heard it all from others, and experienced it all myself from these apps at this point.  I’ve dated people for multiple years, lived abroad with partners, had casual fun including knocking things off my “bucket list”, met travel companions, and made nice friends and good networking connections that have helped me with all sorts of things. Bottom line is, people can call tinder and some of these apps “hook up” apps, but it is what you make of them. I dated someone for 2 years off of Tinder who is still friends with my family and I to this day, and as many of others have stated, there are tonnes of success stories from these apps now.

Sure, it can eat up a lot of time if you’re not careful, and I do think it adds even more to the “Nexting” culture because there are so many more options right at one’s fingers tips to fall back on at any time.  But for all the people that b**** and moan about how much they hate OLD and wish they could organically meet their future partner by reaching for that last head of lettuce in the grocery store…let’s get serious now and discuss the reality of the situation.

Most of us are super busy adults, maybe kids, don’t go to bars anymore, don’t date people from our work for obvious reasons, go to the gym to work out and not eyeball potential partners, maybe do odd weekly community stuff but that’s even a stretch for most. Therefore, options of meeting someone are very scarce.  But you could swipe and send a few messages while you’re waiting in the lobby for your dentist appointment, hell I know women who only check their apps while they are on the toilet LOL.  Bottom line is these apps provide people that you would NEVER have the possibility of meeting otherwise.  I’ve had some instances where I have matched with women who I had a huge crush on when I was a kid but never had to nerve to talk to back then – and matching with them led to dates that were always a blast, full of reminiscing, even if we didn’t work out in the end! It felt like a Butterfly Effect situation where these apps made it possible for me to experience that.

Anyhow, I could go on for days about the positives and negatives about modern OLD, so if you have any more specific questions, I’m more than happy to help. The key is to temper your expectations, find what works best so you don’t waste time burning yourself out with deadbeats, and don’t get bent out of shape if it doesn’t work out with someone new that you liked. Remember that it’s never personal, and there’s a well of other matches that await

TLDR:

Worth it.

Wow this is super helpful thanks so much really appreciate it! Dare to say even excited to see how this goes but also a good reminder to set realistic expectations which is still something I'm working on tbh. Appreciate it

[Maldives]

nah 

[salparadise]

On 1/10/2021 at 8:16 PM, sushiandtacos said:

I'm a little worried that I will start liking someone I meet on the app and develop feelings, then have things end disastrously. Also scared about feeling encouraged to try again and have bad experiences repeat. How do you solely look at this as a numbers game without any ounce of investment in order to prevent losses/wasting time?

Your question is equivalent to asking how to go to Vegas and win a pile of cash without taking any risk. The answer is, if you’re risk averse stay the hell away. Of course the same is true about life in general. Big winners tend to be are the risk takers. They’re able to do so because they believe in themselves. In the game of love this means you believe you’re inherently worthy of being loved... not preoccupied with protecting your heart. 

Want to increase your odds? Don’t be a maximizer. I know it’s contrary to the female manifesto, as determined by genetic encoding, but... when you find yourself ahead, don’t be lusting over what you haven’t won. Cash out and take it home. IOW, when you find a sweet guy who’s able to open his heart for you, don’t be worried about opportunity cost—open your heart, accept him for who he is, and love him til death do us part. Love is a choice, not a fairy tale. 

[poppyfields]

2 hours ago, salparadise said:

Your question is equivalent to asking how to go to Vegas and win a pile of cash without taking any risk. The answer is, if you’re risk averse stay the hell away. Of course the same is true about life in general. Big winners tend to be are the risk takers. They’re able to do so because they believe in themselves. In the game of love this means you believe you’re inherently worthy of being loved... not preoccupied with protecting your heart. 

Want to increase your odds? Don’t be a maximizer. I know it’s contrary to the female manifesto, as determined by genetic encoding, but... when you find yourself ahead, don’t be lusting over what you haven’t won. Cash out and take it home. IOW, when you find a sweet guy who’s able to open his heart for you, don’t be worried about opportunity cost—open your heart, accept him for who he is, and love him til death do us part. Love is a choice, not a fairy tale. 

Well said sal.  The winners aren't afraid of being disappointed or hurt because they know, no matter what, they will be OK.  

Better, stronger even for having had the experience and learning from it. 

I also agree with what chillii and shortskirts posted.  Really good stuff!

Bottom line, stop being afraid.  Step out of comfort zone.  Take the risk.  

You get disappointed, you get up, shake that shyt off and carry on. 

 

 

Edited January 12, 2021 by poppyfields

[BlockRockingBeats]

3 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

nah 

This. A million times over. So well said! Agree with every word!

The risk takers aren't lounging on the sofa flicking through peeps!  

Girl, the dudes online are the same dudes out there! Think about it!

[miss2017]

On 1/11/2021 at 1:16 AM, sushiandtacos said:

I have gotten out of a relationship due to long distance and various reasons around a year ago and went on very few dates this year due to the pandemic via mutual friends and guys I've met. It's really difficult to date right now due to everything and some friends suggested dating apps. I've heard really nightmarish stories from some friends and this forum () with OLD dating such has ghosting that has led to endless confusion, guys who are only on there for one thing, etc etc. But I've also heard about the success stories albeit rare. I am interested in trying it out!

Any advice/tips and precautions when using them and talking to guys? How do you guys deal with the burnout associated with them especially after bad experiences and dates since it's apparently a numbers game? The main thing I picked up from your guys' posts was to text less and meet sooner so that there isn't a false intimacy established before meeting in person. Another big thing is to have thick skin when dealing with ppl from OLD to easily spot and delete the bad ones. I'm a little worried that I will start liking someone I meet on the app and develop feelings, then have things end disastrously. Also scared about feeling encouraged to try again and have bad experiences repeat. How do you solely look at this as a numbers game without any ounce of investment in order to prevent losses/wasting time?

 

I have gone through all you mentioned in OLD and the only thing that keeps me going is my desire to meet the right partner and I know real cases of people who met on OLD and got married and are happy together.

To navigate it, I have learned to do these things:

- Focus on how you want to FEEL at all times with him (before meeting, during and after). So if anything feels off, you know it immediately. Feeling GOOD is the key indicator. Things just flow easily, no red flags, no bad intuition kicks in.

- Rotation: do not speak with only one guy! This will make you see him with rose tinted glasses and think he is the only one in the world so to speak. Talk to a bunch of guys at the same time. This will make you feel abundant. If one guy does not turn out to be what you want, you move one quickly and easily as there are so many more to talk to.

- Block and delete immediately when you feel bad or off about something. Do not engage in conversations about it (I did that in the past and would drain me). Just block, delete and move on. Like you would go to buy a car and didn't like the one you did the test drive and move on to another. Sorry for the analogy guys, but it works.

- Have standards. Have you non negociables. To me is never go to a man's house on the first date. Do not sex talk early. Do not do anything that makes me feel bad. Only accept nice dates in public places.

- Always connect with your intuition and how you feel. If you do, you do not need to be afraid of anything.

Edited January 12, 2021 by miss2017

[Dash23]

1 hour ago, miss2017 said:

I have gone through all you mentioned in OLD and the only thing that keeps me going is my desire to meet the right partner and I know real cases of people who met on OLD and got married and are happy together.

To navigate it, I have learned to do these things:

- Focus on how you want to FEEL at all times with him (before meeting, during and after). So if anything feels off, you know it immediately. Feeling GOOD is the key indicator. Things just flow easily, no red flags, no bad intuition kicks in.

- Rotation: do not speak with only one guy! This will make you see him with rose tinted glasses and think he is the only one in the world so to speak. Talk to a bunch of guys at the same time. This will make you feel abundant. If one guy does not turn out to be what you want, you move one quickly and easily as there are so many more to talk to.

- Block and delete immediately when you feel bad or off about something. Do not engage in conversations about it (I did that in the past and would drain me). Just block, delete and move on. Like you would go to buy a car and didn't like the one you did the test drive and move on to another. Sorry for the analogy guys, but it works.

- Have standards. Have you non negociables. To me is never go to a man's house on the first date. Do not sex talk early. Do not do anything that makes me feel bad. Only accept nice dates in public places.

- Always connect with your intuition and how you feel. If you do, you do not need to be afraid of anything.

^ Probably the most balanced response in this thread.  

Being dead set on what are your qualifiers are for even considering to continue talking to a guy is important or you will get burnt out from all the dead ends that you could have found out much earlier.  As a guy on these, it is very easy to tell which women are seasoned in OLD because they have this down to a science and cut right to the chase. One of the biggest complaints I hear from women (and specifically see in their profiles) is the number of adult men they come across that don't have the basics (don't live with parents, don't live with roommates, don't have a job, don't have a car). Eg. I've just come back to the country and am currently living with family, and many women don't want to deal with that even if its temporary. Cool, she founds out quickly, and we save each other a hell of a lot of time.  It's all good, onto the next for both of us.

It's easy for a guy like myself to talk rather positively about OLD (and trust me, I've had my share of negative experiences) because I simply love meeting new people, even if it's casually - and if it leads to something meaningful (which it has twice), fantastic.  But there is definitely some people that have had a few negative experiences and bash it beyond belief. 

Have a lifestyle and environment that enables you to meet many people IRL? Then great, don't use OLD apps if you don't need or want to. Have a lifestyle that only provides scarce opportunities? Then try supplementing it with a bit of OLD. It doesn't have to be your main source of dating.  Sick of swiping and all the duds you're coming across on these apps? Do what all women seem to do when they reach this point - deactivate and delete them, and feel free to revisit them down the road if you like.

I'm actually reflecting now and trying to think of an alternate world where OLD didn't exist and what my dating life would have looked like over the last decade. I'm a very social person, but I'm far removed from college days where it was easy to meet people, I don't go to bars anymore, I work the usual fulltime hours, rarely play sports in big groups as friends are busy with family, etc. etc. you get the point. Would I hope a friend sets me up with a single friend that is few and far between? Would I cold approach strangers? So many people my age say OLD is just strange and they prefer the old ways. So Do I! But this is the way. And the fact that people are finally realizing this only exacerbates the problem that meeting people "the old fashion way" is even more difficult since most people are getting with the times and relying more so on OLD. If OLD didn't exist would I have met some great people regardless? Sure, maybe.  But I wouldn't trade any of it for the people I got to come across because of OLD, which wouldn't have happened otherwise.

It's funny, some of the most hard headed women I've known for years swore up and down they would never make an OLD profile. Guess what they all have ended up doing after realizing it was hard to meet people otherwise? LOL. And Covid has made it even more of a norm since you now can't meet new people regularly.   I think the best way to look at it is this: if you're having a hard time coming across opportunities to meet new people to potentially date, then you know what you need to do to light a fire under it to get those opportunities to present themselves. 

 

 

[ZA Dater]

Decide what you want to accomplish. I have been on OLD for over 10 years and frankly I regret the day I decided to go down this route, many times it destroyed me sense of self worth, the rejection was and is constant and the fact all you get judged on is a picture. You can write any bio you like but it does not really matter.

Yet other people have had better experiences so maybe balance OLD with trying normal way of dating, especially if you have a good circle of friends to introduce you to people.

[sushiandtacos]

4 hours ago, miss2017 said:

I have gone through all you mentioned in OLD and the only thing that keeps me going is my desire to meet the right partner and I know real cases of people who met on OLD and got married and are happy together.

To navigate it, I have learned to do these things:

- Focus on how you want to FEEL at all times with him (before meeting, during and after). So if anything feels off, you know it immediately. Feeling GOOD is the key indicator. Things just flow easily, no red flags, no bad intuition kicks in.

- Rotation: do not speak with only one guy! This will make you see him with rose tinted glasses and think he is the only one in the world so to speak. Talk to a bunch of guys at the same time. This will make you feel abundant. If one guy does not turn out to be what you want, you move one quickly and easily as there are so many more to talk to.

- Block and delete immediately when you feel bad or off about something. Do not engage in conversations about it (I did that in the past and would drain me). Just block, delete and move on. Like you would go to buy a car and didn't like the one you did the test drive and move on to another. Sorry for the analogy guys, but it works.

- Have standards. Have you non negociables. To me is never go to a man's house on the first date. Do not sex talk early. Do not do anything that makes me feel bad. Only accept nice dates in public places.

- Always connect with your intuition and how you feel. If you do, you do not need to be afraid of anything.

These are great tips thanks so much! 

[sushiandtacos]

2 hours ago, Dash23 said:

It's funny, some of the most hard headed women I've known for years swore up and down they would never make an OLD profile. Guess what they all have ended up doing after realizing it was hard to meet people otherwise? LOL. And Covid has made it even more of a norm since you now can't meet new people regularly.   I think the best way to look at it is this: if you're having a hard time coming across opportunities to meet new people to potentially date, then you know what you need to do to light a fire under it to get those opportunities to present themselves. 

 

 

Yes this since it's so hard to go out and meet people organically right now during covid so thought I would give OLD a try. I also am realizing that OLD is just expanding mediums to meet new people that I otherwise would not have met IRL which is cool!