A frivoulous matter involving breast implants

[kitkat826]

My friend and I are young, single, and planning on going to some big deal Halloween party. We were friends in college and the last time I saw her was last Halloween weekend.

 

She just secretly got breast implants during a trip to Colombia (the country), so on top of looking like a Dominican Beyonce, she now has the chest of Carmen Electra. The girl's a knock out, I admit it. (I'm not that bad either, but I don't need to get a boob job to feel confident with my body). Over the years as I have known her, she has become more and more bold and sexual in the way she dresses when she goes out. So she decides that us and a group of her other friends should go to the party as Playboy bunnies. Me, in a moment of answering the phone while doing the dishes, said "fine" after bantering with her about it for ten minutes.

 

My first objection was that Playboy bunnies are played out. If I'm going to be sexy, I met as well be something interesting that doesn't bring up connotations of the porn industry. She claims that its not unoriginal like I say and that we will not be as exposed as it seems (her justification for this was that the outfit would be just like a "full bathing suit" on the beach). Yeah, except in New Jersey, at night, in mid-fall. I envision hard nipples and drunk dudes trying to grab my ass. I don't want to spend my whole night with the back of my hand ready to spring.

 

So am I just being a prude? I admit, I in many ways I am NOT. But dressing up as one of Hugh Heffner's little bleach-blonde sluts makes me cock my eyebrow just enough to want to protest.

 

So at the end of all of this, my question is: what could I dress up as that could go along with their Playboy theme, but is not as overtly raunchy?

 

Or do I attempt to sway her by confronting her about what I see has her need to be overly sexual all the time when going out, and that I know she really just wants to show off her breast implants? Do you think that would change her mind at all?

[crazy_grl]

Well, I agree with you that playboy bunnies are completely unoriginal.

 

If somebody else isn't already doing it, you could dress as Hef... so what if you're female. You could be the sexy, female Hef.

 

There are some playboy bunny costumes that aren't quite as revealing as the bathing suit ones though. They're basically short dresses. I've seen pink and black. You could go with one of those and be a bit more covered up. You could probably even find some little shorts with the playboy logo (pretty sure they sell those as PJs) and just get some matching ears.

 

I don't think telling your friend you know she wants to show off her implants will change her mind. It might just make her mad. Maybe you can convince her of another theme though. Check out some costumes online. There are plenty of themes that would allow her to dress super sexy (sexier than the playboy bunny costumes IMO) and allow you to cover up a little more.

[basscatcher]

So at the end of all of this, my question is: what could I dress up as that could go along with their Playboy theme, but is not as overtly raunchy?

 

Ah I was in this situation, I dressed up as a saloon girl in the cowboy days on horseback and buggy wagons. I had a blast. I took a red and black brasier covered with lace with a long lace traine, tight black small shorts fish net nylons with high heel black boots and I made a red tassle thingy stick up out of my hair like a feather. then I put a red garter around my forearm. It worked.. We came in second place for the contest.

[SuperMonk]

According to the tv show Elimidate: Blondes or women with bigger boobs always win. So yes ladies, I ignored everything you said, please dress sexy, it gets things rising.

[crazy_grl]

Are you saying that women that get breast implants are not confident about their bodies?

 

I thought that observation was directed specifically toward her friend and her friend's attitude toward her new "assets".

[crazy_grl]

No, kitkat said: (I'm not that bad either, but I don't need to get a boob job to feel confident with my body.)

 

I dunno. You could be right. I'm only sayin I thought she was referring to her friend specifically feeling like she needed the boob job to be confident, not everyone who gets them (demonstrated by her friend's behavior and attitude changing since the operation). It seemed to me like she was resenting the changes in her friend's personality more than the implants themselves.

 

Either way, you did make very valid points above.

[scratch]

Or do I attempt to sway her by confronting her about what I see has her need to be overly sexual all the time when going out, and that I know she really just wants to show off her breast implants? Do you think that would change her mind at all?

 

I think that this is what you want to hear - advice from us that you should tell her not to show off her body.

 

Sadly, however, I read this as a case of "ugly friend" syndrome. The ladies may disagree with me, but when a woman concerns herself with the fact that one of her peers is a slut or dresses too provocatively, underlying jealousy is almost always the primary driver.

 

Try not to be jealous - don't compare your looks or body to hers, or the men she dates to those you date. Try to be happy that she's enjoying herself, and enjoying the attention she recieves. Easier said than done, I am certain.

 

Let her be. Don't do the Hef thing, though, because the vast discrepancy in attention you each will receive will leave an even worse taste in your mouth. Tell her you thought of a different solo costume you wanted to wear, and put the issue behind you.

[kitkat826]

I thought that observation was directed specifically toward her friend and her friend's attitude toward her new "assets".

 

It was specifically directed towards her. Before even posting, I reread the line Star Gazer is referring to and figured it would probably bring about questioning, but I didn't have the time to go back and re-word it.

 

I have seen my friend change over the past five years. When I met her, we were both in college, and she was my "going out" partner. Slowly, we developed a strong friendship. She was a biochemisty major and wanted to go into medicine. At 26 now, what she seems to have been most preoccupied with over the past year are the pagaents she has been in and the club fliers she has posed for in grease and booty shorts. I honestly wish I could say this newfound openess with herself is coming from a genuine, healthy place in her, but I really don't think it is.

 

Are you saying that women that get breast implants are not confident about their bodies?

 

What about women who work out? Are they not confident about their bodies?

 

And I'm sure you wear makeup, highlight your hair, and perhaps even use some Crest Whitestrips. Does that mean you are not confident about your appearance?

 

Star Gazer, I agree with you on all of the above things. I wear makeup. I work out four times a week to keep in shape and my arms and midsection relatively toned. I wear tight jeans on the weekends and sexy clothes when I go out. In the Latin music scene, its the norm. In fact, I frequently have to convince people when I am out dressed like this that I do indeed run a well-known non-profit organization in my area, despite of how I look. On the other hand, while in the progressive non-profit world I usually think to myself that I wish people would take some pride in themselves and dress up a bit in order to be taken more seriously.

 

When I was younger, I was overweight and eventually developed my own form of mild anorexia/bulimia. As a teen, I would specifically dress in tight clothes in order to get positive attention from guys. It was like an addiction and it wasn't healthy. Over the years I have learned to create what I believe is a much healthier sense of pride in my body and physical appearance. I can tell when someone's confidence comes from a pure source, and when it comes from an unhealthy, desperate source. At least in my friends.

 

The change in my friend is something I've noticed gradually over time. I have not said anything until now for fear of hurting her. It was this situation of her insisting that we be Playboy bunnies and learning that she got breast implants that brought up this hunch in me again.

 

If anything, I think I think she has self esteem issues and I feel bad for her. On top of this, I know she has a history of manic depression. I love her like a sister, and like with any family member with a mental issue that is draining, I feel conflicted about how to handle it. My post was not about bashing her as much as it was venting and wondering what I should do in this specific situation.

[Gold Pile]

I work out four times a week to keep in shape and my arms and midsection relatively toned. I wear tight jeans on the weekends and sexy clothes when I go out. In the Latin music scene, its the norm. In fact, I frequently have to convince people when I am out dressed like this that I do indeed run a well-known non-profit organization in my area

 

I'm big on donations to non-profits! Rather not mention dollar amounts (you should see the car I drive!). Maybe we could discuss it sometime:love:

[kitkat826]

I'm big on donations to non-profits! Rather not mention dollar amounts (you should see the car I drive!). Maybe we could discuss it sometime:love:

 

You're in luck. We accept all types of donations...from money, to school supplies, to in-kind services (that means you get to donate your time doing whatever you're an expert at)....Hmmm..you seem to be good at penny pinching, so maybe we could work something out...

[GuySimple]

I don’t get this preoccupation with breast implants. There seems to be some misconception out there that all guy look at is someone’s chest. Ya know it is about the silhouette not the size or even the shape.

 

There is nothing like original parts. Guys that restore cars will go to the ends of the earth to get original parts for their restored cars.

 

When you see someone with a chest full of silicone or saline you do look at them differently. Really, who would spend thousands of $ to get something totally foreign implanted into one of the most sensual parts of their bodies? Are they the same ones who think that pleather is better then leather? Faux fur is the same as mink? Tofu is chicken?

 

The natural female form is so wonderful, why mess with perfection?

[GuySimple]

No, that would be like “touching up” the Sistine Chapel. Why it is beautiful are all the chips and cracks.

[Outcast]

There is nothing like original parts. Guys that restore cars will go to the ends of the earth to get original parts for their restored cars.

 

I'm thinking your partner search may not take too terribly long

[crazy_grl]

Really, who would spend thousands of $ to get something totally foreign implanted into one of the most sensual parts of their bodies? Are they the same ones who think that pleather is better then leather? Faux fur is the same as mink? Tofu is chicken?

 

:laugh: You're funny. Those concepts are on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum as breast implants. Pleather, faux fur, and tofu most often have to do with love of nature/animals not love of the replacement for the "real thing".

[kitkat826]

I think that this is what you want to hear - advice from us that you should tell her not to show off her body.

 

Try not to be jealous - don't compare your looks or body to hers, or the men she dates to those you date. Try to be happy that she's enjoying herself, and enjoying the attention she recieves. Easier said than done, I am certain.

 

Let her be. Don't do the Hef thing, though, because the vast discrepancy in attention you each will receive will leave an even worse taste in your mouth. Tell her you thought of a different solo costume you wanted to wear, and put the issue behind you.

 

In many cases, Scratch, I might say you are right. But the whole point is that I really don't *need* to dress like a Playboy bunny to have fun and get attention. I think that both men and women here would agree that a woman can stand out in a crowd with the most "normal" of clothes on. It's about her energy, how she carries herself, and a more natural beauty. Of course provocative clothing will always turn heads. But it's not the only way.

 

Sadly, however, I read this as a case of "ugly friend" syndrome. The ladies may disagree with me, but when a woman concerns herself with the fact that one of her peers is a slut or dresses too provocatively, underlying jealousy is almost always the primary driver.

 

Again, this can be the case. But I also think as females we can identify in other females a very common struggle/conflict of using one's body to get attention and in the meantime devaluing other positive attributes; in many cases due to low self esteem. It's a common issue among our gender, and it's too bad when recognizing it for what it is is i just interpreted as catty, trivial behavior. Labeling it as such will only enforce the problem, not help it.

[Outcast]

Sadly, however, I read this as a case of "ugly friend" syndrome. The ladies may disagree with me, but when a woman concerns herself with the fact that one of her peers is a slut or dresses too provocatively, underlying jealousy is almost always the primary driver.

 

Sadly, I read the above as a rather juvenile interpretation of the situation.

[RecordProducer]

Star Gazer, I completely agree with you that we should consider ourselves lucky for the myriad of things we can use to become prettier. I kinda disagree it has nothing to do with self-esteem. It HAS, but in the positive way. If I want to learn more and I read books, does it make me insecure about my brain? Hell no! It's called self-improvement. If I want to become a better person, does it make me bad at this moment? Same for looks; just because you want to be prettier in this shallow man's world, doesn't make you an idiot. It only makes you a woman who wants to work on herself physically.

 

However, I wouldn't call KitKat a bad friend. She simply doesn't have the desire to show off her body as her friend does.

 

KitKat, if I were you I would simply tell her I changed my mind after thinking twice - I am not going there dressed as a Playboy bunny. If she tries to persuade you more just let her know that "no" means exactly that: NO. Be kind and polite and don't give any explanations that might ruin your friendship even if she starts askiong questions such as "are you insecure about your body?" Simply say that you don't feel like doing it. The same as if she asked you to go to a disco with her tonight and you felt sleepy. There is no "why" for this question like "why you are sleepy?" The less you explain the more people respect you.

 

Definitely if you're dressed like a slut, you will feel bad all night. I for example only wear light clothes in the summer or if my BF is with me. Otherwise it makes me feel cheap and as if I am looking for men's attention. And I don't need any man's attention. So I understand how you feel about it. You have a right to change your mind. Besides you don't have to be dressed the same, right?

 

If worse comes to worse, dress like a man and when somebody asks you what your costume means, just say: "I am Hugh Heffner!"

[Ms. DysFUNction]

No, that would be like “touching up” the Sistine Chapel. Why it is beautiful are all the chips and cracks.

 

Wow, that is such a beautiful comment on why not to get breast implants. I can't wait until mine start chipping . I agree that there's nothing like origional parts. I've had two close friends get breast implants and they both let me feel them. They were a bit stiff, kinda like a recycled 2 liter coke bottle. It's a feeling I would never want on my body.

 

These women were both beautiful, they'd both had babies and their breasts had changed. They wanted their breasts back the way they used to be.

 

My psychology teacher says that breast implants are a womans way of signaling to men that they're women. Y'know the neanderthal men who look at a womans chest first to make sure its a woman (my ex was one of these). Like the Peacock, the females prefer a longer tail. The peahens all mate with the one Peacock with the longest tail. Evolution made way for the "females choice." Of course this happens over many generations.

 

Many men prefer oogling bigger breasts since they are still in their cave man mode of thinking. Yet women don't want to wait around thousands of generations till human women evolve bigger breasts, so they go to the plastic surgeon to get "enhanced." Which is really just an "adaptation" to attract more men.

 

I would remind your friend that its the "neanderthals" that will be oogling her! Thats OK though, leaves more nice guys for you.

 

And about the Playboy bunny costume (GaG!) Sounds like she wants support in her sluttines, can't go out embarassing herself alone. Speak your truth, let her know how you feel about everything....be hard on the issue, not on the person.

 

I think a flying nun costume would be a perfect compliment to her bunny suit .

[amber245]

But I also think as females we can identify in other females a very common struggle/conflict of using one's body to get attention and in the meantime devaluing other positive attributes; in many cases due to low self esteem. It's a common issue among our gender, and it's too bad when recognizing it for what it is is i just interpreted as catty, trivial behavior. Labeling it as such will only enforce the problem, not help it.

 

Kitkat, that was a cool way to deal with that scratch thing. As you don't want to be as tacky as your friends asking you to be, the best thing is to get a funky black dress and wear it with a powder puff and a pair of ears. You will look even more classy if everyone else is in playboy outfits. You'll get the better men and your friend will just have to make do with the scratches that are hanging around looking at her plastic boobs AS long as you make sure you have a good time of course. You don't want to look miserable when you're wearing a black dress and bunny ears as that would make people laugh so make sure the ears and powder puff are easy to take off if you don't feel comfy in them. :bunny: