Livinglife28 Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 Me and my girlfriend has been together since September. Before this relationship me and her was the closest friends. Her and her ex boyfriend broke up in June. After her breakup she met this guy through a zoom call for a college orientation and they both hit it out the park. Although she never met this guy in person she used to be head over heels about him. During June she used to rave how sexy he is and I was happy for her finally finding someone after her ex treated her like trash. In early July she started to develop feelings for me and me and her shared our first kiss with each other on July 7th. She still was entertaining the other guy by texting him and talking to him but I was doing my own thing and really could careless. While she kept having the other guys hopes up her keep kissing eachother the whole July. Then I told her if she wanted things go farther she would have to stop entertaining him. She agreed but said she still wants to keep him as a friend and have a platonic relationship because she saw him as a cool person. I wasn’t a fan of it at first because why stay friends with a guy you had feelings for but she reassured me that he was just a rebound to get over her ex so I just left it alone and let them be friends. Fast forward to in mid September me and her got into a fight but she let me know he was coming over to her dorm to hangout and catch up with their class I was skeptical about it but I know she isn’t the type to do something because she made me wait a while until we had sex. She told me she asked him for advice on what to do with me and I wasn’t a fan of it because why ask him for advice when he knows that she friendzoned him for me. And I told her to never do that again. Okay, fast forward to October 1st me and her got into it again with her not talking to me until 11pm where she texted me “I know I am a fragile mess but I love you goodnight and be safe” which I responded say I’ll just give her space but if she needs to talk about things she can text me. The next day me and her have a math tests and she usually goes to this girls dorm to take the test. She texts me after the test she wants to go to my dorm to talk. So after the math test she comes to my room saying how much she needs me kissing me up and s*** and is sorry for what happened the day before. So i forgive her. So during mid October I went through my girlfriends phone( yes I was wrong but I did it out of revenge because she did it to me few days before and I was pissed) and what I found out after she finished the math test she went to see the guy. This is what texts between them were. gf: let me know when I can come guy friend:okay lma go take a shower first. Guy friend: care to hop in. gf: BDAPO no guy friend: lmao I’ll jus get my Marco then guy friend: I’m done you can come gf: are you changed.. Guy friend: yes gf: coming. I confronted her about it she said she came to his dorm for literally 5 minutes. I told her friends don’t ask other friends to take showers and she said that’s how he is and plays around. And she swears she only went to see him for 5 minutes and went to talk about me. While I was threatening to end the relationship. She said he has never said anything bad about me and swears he’s a good guy. while she’s crying (she’s overly sensitive) she agrees to cut him off after that. But it didn’t end there. She still wanted to keep him as a friend until in November she finally gave in and cut him off. She was pissed about it but I didn’t give a f*** no friend ask them shower with him playfully or not. Me and her always have arguments about the situation to this day the last one was about me going to a New Year’s Eve party where my ex and and a previous fwb would be there. She gets mad and sends me a text saying. Gf; “how would u feel if u knew i was going to a party w a guy i f***ed and on top of that going to a party in general knowing where my family stands with my grandmas surgery and how i can’t be around anyone who’s been out partying GF: i’m not gonna tell u what to do bc that’s not me but when i tell u i need space its bc i need time to cool off and not panic over this s*** GF:how u get mad at me for seeing Jake for 5 min but u go to a whole party w a b**** u f***ed GF:i do trust u but when u get on me for doing what u are going to do it’s f***ed i responded telling her I told her what was different is I told her what I was going to do and she never told me she went out her way to see him Before me. which she responded: hm maybe bc we were in a fight that day and that wasn’t my first priority and :but i mean we already discussed this, atleast I didn’t f*** him. which I responded: Hmmm maybe you went to a dudes dorm you had feelings for and called him sexy before and went to him when we’re into a fight. she responded: good f***ing bye, dont f***ing talk to me for the rest of my vacation, f*** you. And “you can sit there and bash me all u want about that day,but at the end of the day we had a conversation and u hold a grudge on me for that,always have always will,u never let it go,and i’m sick of it.” After that we resolved it. But I keep asking her to tell me the truth if she cheated on me and she said she never did. But I told her how uncomfortable I felt about the dude a week ago. Then two days ago she tells me he snapped her to catch up with her and she to see how he was doing because that’s how friends are and after that she left him on read. At that point I was fed up and me and her got into another argument which resolved with her finally agreeing to cut him off for good and never speaking to him again. I told her if she respected this relationship she would cut him off. But guys I want to know do you guys think she cheated on me with him? Another do you think I was right for her cutting him off or was I bit to controlling?
Wiseman2 Posted January 10, 2021 Posted January 10, 2021 1 hour ago, Livinglife28 said: . Before this relationship me and her was the closest friends. Her and her ex boyfriend broke up in June. Sorry this is happening. Are you exclusive? It seems like the transition from friends to dating is quite blurry. She's not ready willing or able to date exclusively. After her break-up, she wants to play the field and have lots of male attention. She even told you she has her sights set on this guy. You've already argued about this and she ignored it. This relationship isn't going well. She's leading you on and you're snooping through her phone. End it. You're unhappy, she's playing the field... talking to lots of guys, probably her ex too. She is still treating you like a friend. It's just not working out. Can you go back to being friends? Probably not since you want exclusive dating and she wants her freedom
JRabbit Posted January 11, 2021 Posted January 11, 2021 You both come across too immature for a relationship based on those texts.
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