I don't know how to date casual

[Miss Spider]

On 1/8/2021 at 5:55 PM, Watercolors said:

Hi Emilie. The only people who would go for the casual dating format, are the people who want a FWB or ONS situation, or who are polyamorous (sex w/multiple partners b/c they want to be). 

Do what you are comfortable doing. Do not put yourself in dating situations where you feel like you are compromising your own standards and values. Do not lower your expectations just to please the guy. The only way to attract the type of men who deserve you, is to commit to your standards and values, and when appropriate, communicate what those are to the men who express interest in dating you. That’s the quickest way to weed out the men who you’re not compatible with. 

I dunno I don’t think I’m poly or want fwb or ons only necessarily...but I prefer to casual date.  I just feel like casual dating is a quicker way to find what I want and actually before I started to do it, I find myself bored and lonely a lot more often. Like for instance, I would go on a date with a guy on Friday and it was fun,  but perhaps I wanted to have fun again on Saturday, I could with another guy.  . I just feel like I have more people to talk to and there is more fun to be had with different people and you have a higher chance of finding what you like . If one person didn’t have anything interesting going on, another one definitely does. If a lot of time is spent with one person, it creates an intimacy really fast to move on to the next step.When I used to date just one person, It could be like three weeks until I knew I didn’t want to continue and then I’m at square one and that doesn’t happen if you were dating others. I also think that it keeps things more in perspective. When you are just seeing one person you kind of just settle in with them. There is nothing to compare them to so whether or not they are right for you you are more likely to just go with the flow and date them. The competition makes it more likely that the person that you were with is actually what you want  There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with it. A lot of people do it these days. 

Edited January 25, 2021 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[dramafreezone]

 

On 1/8/2021 at 3:08 AM, Emilie Jolie said:

Thanks for the praise @Watercolors. Just to clarify, I really just meant the above. 

I don't know many people (or any, really) who would accept to go for the 'relaxed' method to be honest 🙂.

Because so many people are in a race to get into a relationship, or married.  What's wrong with enjoying the courtship, or just enjoying the other person and going with the flow?  Seems to be welp, it's the third date, I better see if I can lock him down, if not I have to move on.  That's enjoyable to people, to be stressing over these details?

[elaine567]

6 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

 

Because so many people are in a race to get into a relationship, or married.  What's wrong with enjoying the courtship, or just enjoying the other person and going with the flow?  Seems to be welp, it's the third date, I better see if I can lock him down, if not I have to move on.  That's enjoyable to people, to be stressing over these details?

Because wasting time with guys who only want regular sex and companionship and someone to share the bills, is a huge problem for women, whose fertility window is small.
It is easy to get into casual, go with the flow relationships, but women often get attached, they want more, they want a "serious" man  and they need to move on from any guy who is a waste of her time, else be 30+ with no hope of the family  and the kids she always wanted. 
Men can afford to fool around for years and years and years, women rarely can in reality.

[Emilie Jolie]

10 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

 

Because so many people are in a race to get into a relationship, or married.  What's wrong with enjoying the courtship, or just enjoying the other person and going with the flow?  Seems to be welp, it's the third date, I better see if I can lock him down, if not I have to move on.  That's enjoyable to people, to be stressing over these details?

Yeah, seems like it. The 'getting to know' stage has its own charm but it's not everyone's cup of tea.

As you say, there is an element of some people being in a rush to find 'The One', even from a distance / online / when they haven't actually met in person. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.

I don't know how well you can suss a person out in 3 dates or less anyway; probably a specific skill-set you acquire with a lot of experience. Not sure I'd want to develop that particular skill, tbh. I find people who date often don't fit my personal criteria. 

I wonder what Amanda has decided to do in the end.