BC1980 Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 2 hours ago, JackStewart said: yes and no. She's blocked him because he blows up her phone and keeps texting her but recently she unblocked him and he started up again This is a red flag. She has not grieved the end of this relationship and has not fully cut ties with him.
BC1980 Posted January 1, 2021 Posted January 1, 2021 1 hour ago, JackStewart said: Would it be the same if she was the one that broke up with him? Im honestly new to relationships as I said this was my first one. No. She still wants validation from him, which is why she unblocked him. Even if she doesn't want to be in a relationship with him, she still has some level of emotional involvement with him. Dumpers go through their own grief process. Three years is a significant amount of time to spend with someone.
ChatroomHero Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 She's pretty clearly telling you through her words and actions that she wants to bang her ex and have you fill in the companionship part. She wants what she wants from him and from you she just wants you to do all the hard work and help her through the drama her ex brings and fill in and do the relationship stuff he won't. The difference is she gets the "prize" and you get the "job". Any time a woman says her ex was the worst thing ever but keeps in contact and chooses to let him be in her life, she is not being honest. Imagine if there were two mechanic shops next door to each other and the one she goes to over charged her $2,000 and her car stopped running the day she got it back. She takes it back and they work on it and when she gets it back it it still won't run and it has 4 flat tires. So she takes it back again and they return it to her missing a door and still doesn't run. Each time you spend hours fixing her car, spending your own money, hours of your time... to fix the problems she keeps causing. You tell her next time go to the mechanic next door and she tells you all the reasons she "can't" go anywhere else, like that's the mechanic her family has always used, the other mechanic is 100' away and it's too far, she really likes the free coffee in the lobby, how as much as she really wants to go to another mechanic she just can't explain why she has to go back to the same one, bla, bla, bla. Then she tells you she "needs" you around so the next time she goes to the mechanic and he screws her over for the 20th time, you can be there to comfort her and waste your time and money making it all better. At some point pretty quickly you would say, "it's simple stop going to that mechanic or I won't work on your car again" and tell her if she does, she can deal with the drama and cry to someone else because she is choosing to put herself in that position. You wouldn't stick around for that BS if she kept choosing and rationalizing why she keeps going back, so why would you stick around when she is doing the same thing with her ex?
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2021 Posted January 2, 2021 21 hours ago, JackStewart said: Im honestly new to relationships as I said this was my first one. Then listen to us. We're not new to relationships. This girl is emotionally unavailable. She never took the time to process her break up & while she's still in any kind of contact with her EX, she is not free to date you because her heart still lies with him. She can say anything she wants but her actions tell you she's lying.
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