SumGuy Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 I'm guessing it was the height thing as well. He seemed to mention it an talking about being emasculated because of high heels, a weird joke (if one) that is very revealing of his psychology. Just odd for it to be just a joke if he wasn't insecure about his height. Bullet dodged I say.
smackie9 Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Height may not have be a factor after all. When there is no chemistry, then there is no second date and TBH I would just leave it at that. His loss right? 3
stillafool Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Well at least it was only one date so it's easy to put this in your rear view. 3
Ruby Slippers Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 He's obviously very insecure about his height. If he were secure about it, he wouldn't have lied. So it's no big loss for you - an insecure liar who was kind of rude about it. I'm tall and had a boyfriend who was 1 inch shorter, have been on dates with men even shorter than that. If it's from a dating site, we always discuss it up front. I've learned to screen out the guys with hangups about it. There are shorter guys who are totally secure in themselves and fine dating taller women - look at all the tall models and short rockers. These are the ones who never make any negative comments about it, including, "I wish I were taller." Yeah, well, I wish I were a supermodel - get over it. 2
MsJayne Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 1 hour ago, Hpchic said: Plus throughout the date he was telling me not to be put off that he looks so much shorter than me, he said it was because I was sitting on a chair and he was sitting on the booth side so it was lower. Meanwhile seems it bothered him more than it bothered me lol You should have asked if he'd like a bar stool, and then asked if he'd need a ladder to get on to it. He was so sure you'd reject him he rushed home to un-match, and that gesture tells you he's actually much smaller than his physical height. Send him a milk crate and offer up thanks to the Dating Gods that he revealed his short-comings to you so quickly. 5
Dash23 Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 2 hours ago, MsJayne said: You should have asked if he'd like a bar stool, and then asked if he'd need a ladder to get on to it. He was so sure you'd reject him he rushed home to un-match, and that gesture tells you he's actually much smaller than his physical height. Send him a milk crate and offer up thanks to the Dating Gods that he revealed his short-comings to you so quickly. LOL, this needs a laugh emoji response....absolute gold. @Hpchic, you're an exception to the rule and don't mind shorter men. I'm also an exception as I don't mind women taller than me. This guy who clearly wanted a ladder to talk to you is not part of that group of men who are the exception. I am a very sarcastic guy even to a fault, but his "joke" about you emasculating him didn't have a lot of tact and it tells the tale. Be happy this guy saved you a lot of time and that you're one of the lucky women who doesn't mind shorter guys and has many more future options than most women. 1
ThereSheGoes Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Good god. I agree with Ms. Jayne. While I was reading your post, I got that the only reason why he unmatched with you is because he thought because of his height, he was going to unmatch with him first, and wanted to beat you to the punch. He sounds super insecure. Would you honestly would have wanted to date a man who was so hung up on something as trivial as his height? Just think of it as a pleasant dinner, and thats it. No harm done.
trident_2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Most guys are going to react the way he did if you were not honest in your profile. Only you know the answer to this question, which is how recent and accurate are your photos? Because you've changed in the last 10 years even if you and many women I've met in the past when online dating think they look exactly the same or even better.
guest569 Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 bit of a red flag if he's so emasculated by a woman being about the same height as him. Did you have any other contact methods or was that it? Just wondered if it's possible that he deleted the profile rather than deleted you?
Lotsgoingon Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Whether it was your height or not, his comment about your heels "emasculating" him was a total red flag--even if it was meant as a joke. Way too dramatic even to joke about. I've dated taller women--that kind of thinking wasn't even in the back of my mind anywhere. Tall woman looked good in heels, I focused on her beauty in heels! Brain did not go to height differentials. That part of my brain goes asleep if I like the way the woman otherwise looks. But not for this guy! So the game was over--the date was really over--once he made that comment. You do not want to negotiate with someone who makes a comment like that. The comments says this thinking about height--height insecurity--is front and center in his mind. He truly feels that he loses his masculine power because you're taller. To say that to someone on a first meeting means he's obsessed with being taller than the woman. We usually have an editor on first dates. That his height comments got past the editor tells you that this is not some minor thinking pattern for him. You can be thankful that he didn't ask for another date, because you ran through major red flag. There is no way there's some deeply secure, confident guy beneath a comment like that. No way. This guy was only going to cause you pain and stay at a distance. Somehow you missed this and take his "rejection" to heart. Be thankful--I know that's hard. But trust me: this was going nowhere!
guest569 Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 28 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: Most guys are going to react the way he did if you were not honest in your profile. Only you know the answer to this question, which is how recent and accurate are your photos? Because you've changed in the last 10 years even if you and many women I've met in the past when online dating think they look exactly the same or even better. She was honest. He was not. 2
trident_2020 Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 1 minute ago, smiley1 said: She was honest. He was not. How do you know she was honest? 1
ThereSheGoes Posted December 30, 2020 Posted December 30, 2020 13 minutes ago, trident_2020 said: How do you know she was honest? Have you had a lot of women use older pictures on you? 2
JSmith123 Posted December 31, 2020 Posted December 31, 2020 No guy wants to date a woman who is taller.. I know I never would. Yep he is insecure about it though and thought you wore heels on purpose to make the height difference more obvious, so took the easy option. He saved you any further hassle tbh.
trident_2020 Posted December 31, 2020 Posted December 31, 2020 1 hour ago, ThereSheGoes said: Have you had a lot of women use older pictures on you? More often than not. Even had them text them to me during that first "getting to know you" week.
Author Hpchic Posted December 31, 2020 Author Posted December 31, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, trident_2020 said: Most guys are going to react the way he did if you were not honest in your profile. Only you know the answer to this question, which is how recent and accurate are your photos? Because you've changed in the last 10 years even if you and many women I've met in the past when online dating think they look exactly the same or even better. My oldest photo is a year old. My newest is a month old, other than the height I doubt he had an issue with the way I looked given he couldn’t shut up about how gorgeous I was. He even said something silly like “I can totally see the guys you work with coming over to your desk and asking you out on dates all the time” Edited December 31, 2020 by Hpchic
Author Hpchic Posted December 31, 2020 Author Posted December 31, 2020 1 hour ago, ThereSheGoes said: Have you had a lot of women use older pictures on you? Oh this made me laugh! 2
Author Hpchic Posted December 31, 2020 Author Posted December 31, 2020 48 minutes ago, JSmith123 said: No guy wants to date a woman who is taller.. I know I never would. Yep he is insecure about it though and thought you wore heels on purpose to make the height difference more obvious, so took the easy option. He saved you any further hassle tbh. That’s not true, I’ve dated men shorter than me who were never bothered by my height. They were secure in themselves. My ex loved tall women and while he was taller than me, the girl he dated before me was taller than him and it didn’t bother him one bit. 1
Author Hpchic Posted December 31, 2020 Author Posted December 31, 2020 1 hour ago, smiley1 said: bit of a red flag if he's so emasculated by a woman being about the same height as him. Did you have any other contact methods or was that it? Just wondered if it's possible that he deleted the profile rather than deleted you? Yes he has my number, but I highly doubt he just deleted his profile. We started messaging Sunday, and I’ll admit I didn’t go on the app Monday and Tuesday until after the date but I doubt he deleted me prior to our date.
Interstellar Posted December 31, 2020 Posted December 31, 2020 (edited) so you’re feeling rejected now because you got unmatched instantly, well think about all the guys you rejected/canceled/ghosted or whatever. they felt the same way you’re feeling right now. it will always suck for the one being rejected. that’s just the way it is. personally, I also love tall women but it could be a number or a thousand things that he didn’t like about you, it could be your face too. it doesn’t matter now. Edited December 31, 2020 by Interstellar 1 1
Author Hpchic Posted December 31, 2020 Author Posted December 31, 2020 (edited) 30 minutes ago, Interstellar said: so you’re feeling rejected now because you got unmatched instantly, well think about all the guys you rejected/canceled/ghosted or whatever. they felt the same way you’re feeling right now. it will always suck for the one being rejected. that’s just the way it is. personally, I also love tall women but it could be a number or a thousand things that he didn’t like about you, it could be your face too. it doesn’t matter now. Believe me, it’s not my face lol believe it or not I’ve never ghosted on a guy and I’ve never cancelled on one either. Edited December 31, 2020 by Hpchic
Wiseman2 Posted December 31, 2020 Posted December 31, 2020 12 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: He's obviously very insecure Agree. This sums it up. You dodged a bullet.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2020 Posted December 31, 2020 18 hours ago, Hpchic said: so I went on the app and noticed that he unmatched with me! I was stunned only because he didn't strike me as the kind of guy who would do that even if he wasn't interested me What are you basing this on? You say you only started messaging on Sunday, and this was the first time you'd met him. You know nothing about him, for all intents and purposes - or at least nowhere near enough to assume that he is or isn't the type to unmatch you. Perhaps he was insecure about his height. Maybe there was something else that put him off. Rejection stings, for sure, but I wouldn't think twice about it now. It wasn't a match for him, so nothing lost. 1
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