Wiseman2 Posted January 23, 2021 Posted January 23, 2021 People letting themselves go is a huge problem. Just because people are long term or committed/married, it's not an excuse to let yourself go to hell in a hand basket. While it seems shallow, no one wants a partner who's just schlumping around . Health, grooming, fitness are just as important in LTRs, if not more so, than in dating. 2
josedelamuerte Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 On 1/12/2021 at 12:25 PM, Negotaurus said: I felt the need to share my thoughts, it is my opinion and I am not pushing it onto anybody. I feel like many of the posters here are projecting their own struggles with weight onto the OP. Putting him down for bringing it up, saying that he should sit still and accept it - that is not right either. That is how the people on 'my 600-pound life' end up where they do, as an example. This woman has health issues. Sitting quietly and accepting that, alright, my girlfriend could practically be killing herself (I do apologise if I am taking this too far, I don't know how overweight she truly is), that is not okay. It is okay that you are not attracted to her, you have a taste, you have a preference. It's sad but it's not your fault, nor is it controlling to be open about it with your partner. I am not sure where you were 'shaming her' either. Everybody is do concerned with how she feels but what about YOUR happiness. Someone suggested you dump her and let her find somebody who 'loves her unconditionally', what a load of bollocks. Yes you have been too pushy, but you love her. You're not out cheating with a woman who is more fit, you're not abandoning her, you've tried to offer your help countless times. To throw such jabs at your love made me very angry. Attraction and love are NOT the same. Your girlfriend will most likely not lose weight. If, it will probably be gained back. I'm not sure how old you are but you said she's been heavy for some time now. Usually people who are heavy only get heavier as they get older. At least, that's what I've noticed. This The easiest thing to do (and what I see most often advised on these forums for some reason) is to just vanish. Pick up and leave. Don't-owe-nobody-no-explanations do-what's-good-for-you find-someone-better. I think it's admirable that you're actually fighting for someone you care about, despite the awkwardness of having conversations of this sort with them. You're not ignoring the problem. You're being honest about it before it reaches a breaking point. You're a true friend. If this was anything other than weight, I think people wouldn't be accusing you of pestering her. These are stressful times, and compulsive behaviors of all sorts are on the rise. Smoking, drinking, weed, porn, videogames, social networks. Unlike these other addictions though, even if she can get back to eating less/different once this blows over, it's often not enough to shed the weight that's been gained. 1
peach302 Posted January 25, 2021 Posted January 25, 2021 What's been decided. This is going to go round in circles. Its either you accept her as how she is or move on.
kendahke Posted January 28, 2021 Posted January 28, 2021 Quote She takes medication for diabetes And depending on the medication, it could cause weight gain because it's dealing with the pancreas, which is the main organ that processes blood sugar. Her pancreas isn't working like yours is--try to factor that into your judgement of her. Also, she could be dealing with undiagnosed depression brought on by the health issues her diabetes is causing which in turn causes her to have no motivation to lose weight she'd be able to lose while on the medication--during a pandemic with a daily mutating virus. Is it so much that you're not attracted to her, or is it more like you're ashamed of her?
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