Cachito Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 I have a very special friendship with a person that I felt we understood each other a lot, we had long and intense conversation and over the years (We've known each other since we were teens/preteens) They have open to me about topics that they have told me they have never opened before and are very sensitive with. I worry a lot about my friends and I don't mind it, I enjoy having open and intense conversations and I have learned to be more open to and vocalize my feelings. But this friend that I think is my best friend or, the friend I most identified with at least. Expressed that she usually felt that I don't gloat them, that I criticize them and have a negative perception of them. That's ok, I felt hurt but in that conversation I feel accepted to change my way of talking to try to not create this feeling from her, in this conversation I also told her that maybe they felt that way because of this recent openness. And maybe that was an error, I think what I thought was an open conversation was a confrontation. Because They stopped talking to be for almost a month, ignoring my messages in which I expressed concern and not my boyfriend's (That talked to them because I was worried) In that month a relative died from COVID-19, and had mayor anxiety with my exams and I worrying about them, thinking they could be depressed or/and hurting themselves (Things that have happened before). And when they responded it was to again tell that they were hurt and invalidate, that I dismissed what they said and justified my attitude with their sensitivity. IDK, I can't worry this much about someone if they don't communicate for this long after we had a problem, in this pandemic context where everyone mental health is in danger. I don't feel supported, and I don't know if I am being selfish. I told them about this feeling but they were pretty much ignored, maybe it was the time for they feelings and I could be invaling theirs again? Is it selfish to let a person with past with selfharming alone? i dont plan on stop talking to them, but I dont want this intense feelings if I cant expect a little bit of information. With an "I need time to think" or basic response I would be good. Sorry for bad english or formating. Not a native. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 maybe the conversations were getting too personal. your friends are not always comfortable if you are offering too many opinions, change your communication style- keep things more general about random topics and try not to judge other people, just be there as a friend without judging them, be a good listener. Link to post Share on other sites
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