Dash23 Posted December 28, 2020 Posted December 28, 2020 Happy Holidays Loveshackers! This will come off as more of a whiny vent but It's been bothering me for a bit now so I will give some background details first: I went to the UK for a year for school. Matched and met a really cool 32 year old girl (I'm 39 myself) and hit it off after hanging out a couple times. She then has a 3 week vacation away, I manage to reconnect with her when she gets back and we hang out again In March right as Covid starts messing the world up. I end up having to move back to Canada within a week of that and to my surprise, she decides to hang out with me for the remaining time, while even casually meeting her parents for dinner in the process. She had even asked me if I thought it would have worked with her and I said I think it definitely could have had I have still been there. So I move back to Canada in March and we naturally still continue messaging fairly frequently, the odd camera chats, heavy flirting, the odd "miss ya" moments that one would expect. She had even suggested coming to Canada for her next big vacation, or asking me if I would be up to meeting at a mutual destination. To be clear, we're not a "couple" of course and Covid obviously ruined her potential Canada visit or us meeting up somewhere. I'm also not naive and am aware that both of us have been out mingling and dating other people with out blatantly telling each other that. But it's been clear we've been both interested in each other still even up until last month. I've learned from the get go that she's often quite terrible at responding and often forgets to completely, so I always let it slide and will message again to remind her. I don't even care if we don't message for a week or two, but December has been more quiet than usual unless I try to start up a convo, or get a vid chat going, or say how we need covid to be over so we can finally do that trip together, which she again has been forgetting to respond to with any excitement which she often did before. What I'm getting at is that I've been toying with the idea of getting a job for perhaps a year in the UK, and I was planning to plant that seed on a camera chat to see what her reaction would be. But with a now quieter than usual last 4 weeks, and her not even wishing me a quick "Merry Christmas"...I can't help but feel let down. Chances are I may not even get a "Happy Holidays" or "Happy New Year" message, so I'm sure I'll eventually message her jokingly about her apparently "phasing me out completely" by the looks of it, and then moving on to regular chat again hopefully. Makes me feel like I shouldn't even be entertaining the thought of a possible move to another country for someone who clearly isn't thinking about me much anymore. I know I don't have a right to be upset, she's not my girl, time away makes things fade, hell maybe she found someone she really likes in the last month that she's been dating. But we've been in contact fairly consistently for a year now, so to not even get thought about or messaged over the holidays even as a friend is a real bummer... I'm all about that tough love and LoveShackers putting me in my place, but I felt compelled to share and get peoples thoughts?
trident_2020 Posted December 28, 2020 Posted December 28, 2020 Don't give more than you're getting. Right now you aren't getting much of anything. 1
fred123 Posted December 28, 2020 Posted December 28, 2020 she lost interest or had low interest from the get go. i know girl mates who have continued non stop messaging with a guy in another country for months etc. they had high interest. This girl does not.
Lotsgoingon Posted December 28, 2020 Posted December 28, 2020 Dude, there is no such thing as "forgetting" to contact another person. Outside of Alzheimer's it does not exist. And in the romantic realm or the near romantic real, there is no such thing. I owe about three people phone calls or return emails right now. I'm slow in responding, but I'm deliberate. Basically she lost interest. No, when someone withdraws, you do NOT up your effort or investment. Just the opposite, you accept that they are withdrawing. She has your contact info. She knows how to reach you. Therefore, her not reaching out to you means she does not want to talk to you. You are not a priority. Sounds like she may have met another guy and gotten involved. Don't even think about going back to London to meet up with her. Total formula for heartbreak. 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 28, 2020 Posted December 28, 2020 Consider that she may be busy with her usual local life, including dating locally. As you mentioned, you're not a couple so feel free to date locally and put this situation in the pen pal folder
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