Savannah1990 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) Hi everyone, there’s this guy that I’ve been friends/friendly with for about 2 years now. I know him from work. He initiated contact after a business meeting and we kind of became friends. We met a few time, had a drink and laughed. We did really hit it off and I did wished he was single, LOL. But, he’s been with his GF (not wife) for over 10 years and they have 2 children. so I really kept him off. He texted me every few months, just wanting to stay in contact. Saying that he’s thinking of me, claiming that he gets all ‘warm and fuzzy’ inside when he is thinks about me. We did kiss and touched at one point, which I stopped bc I felt guilty towards his GF. I wanted nothing more then a friendship, since he’s taken. If he would be single then yeah sure, he would totally be my type. Last few months, he seems to open up more. The texts are longer and a bit more personal. He’s always the one initiating contact. He asked if I could meet him next month and we set a date. He says he’s really looking forward to meeting me again en we discussed some superficial stuff about politics. To my surprise, last night at 03.45 he sended me a big heart-Emoji. Nothing else, just the emoji. since then, I don’t know what he feels, what his intentions are etc. Could he be in love? Is he just ‘warming me up’ for our meeting? Good to know: I’m currently single. He’s about ten years older then me Edited December 20, 2020 by Savannah1990 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 You in danger, girl. Stay away from men who do crap like this. He's showing you he's neither trustworthy nor respectful. If you really want to see where his mind and heart are at, tell him you won't go on a date with him until he is single. Because let's be honest, that's essentially what this "meet up" amounts to. Otherwise, you are sure to be left hurt and confused when he eventually gets spooked that his girlfriend might find out and pulls away from you. Have a read thought The Other Woman/Man forum to see what you're wading into here. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 11 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: ,he’s been with his GF (not wife) for over 10 years and they have 2 children. .We did kiss and touched at one point, which I stopped bc I felt guilty towards his GF. Unfortunately you both know at some level he's looking for easy hookups and to cheat on his partner. Why participate? Simply delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. If you are looking to date, get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men. Find a single guy who's not a cheater. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 3 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: Could he be in love? Is he just ‘warming me up’ for our meeting? Good to know: I’m currently single. He’s about ten years older then me No, he's not in love. Might be in lust. Not a good situation for you. Find someone who actually can be in love with you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 The heart emoji may have been a mistake but it is enough to get your guard up, as it should. He has a long term GF / baby mama. Let's start by assuming he loves her & is faithful to her. You two are friends, even though you'd be open for more if he were single. Covid has made many people feel isolated so they are opening up more to people already in their lives because there is not much opportunity to meet or interact with new people. That may be driving his more frequent communications. In your shoes I'd clarify the heart emoji by phone / voice not text. I'd call him sometime this week to wish him Merry Christmas. During the brief chat ask if he meant to send you the emoji & what was he doing up at 3:45 a.m. Ask about his kids & his holiday plans. Depending on the answers you get, ask what his expectations about your upcoming meeting are. If he gives you a song & dance about his GF not understanding him, cancel the meeting & tell him to reach out when he has fully broken up with her, not before. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: He texted me every few months, just wanting to stay in contact. Saying that he’s thinking of me, claiming that he gets all ‘warm and fuzzy’ inside when he is thinks about me. Lol, did he really use those words "warm and fuzzy" or were you paraphrasing? That is not something I've heard any red-blooded masculine man say, in any context, unless as a joke or messin with me, which is why I'm asking. I'd probably dump him for that alone, even if he were single. 😆 Given he's in a long term "supposedly" committed relationship when saying it makes him no better than pond scum. I'd be nexting but your call. I think you could probably do better, for a myriad of reasons. Edited December 20, 2020 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 What's the point of this? Why are you doing this? He is in a long-term relationship and has two children with the person. Do you want to be the woman he cheats on his GF with? He's not available and he won't be with you in a proper relationship. He wants to use you for a bit of fun on the side. Why don't you find a man who is actually available? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 Sorry to say this but this has been him monkey branching/ emotional affair with you. He’s not in love he’s infatuated. He’s grooming you for an affair. Cut him off....block/ delete. Don’t talk to him again. If he pesters you tell him you will let his wife know what he’s been trying to do. Typical adulterers will give you a sob story about how bad their relationship is blah blah blah to get your guard down. Making themselves look vulnerable getting your sympathy, gaining your trust playing on your emotions. 99.9% of the time they never leave their relationship/marriage. He’s also a commitment phone. Has a gf for over 10 years and 2 kids. Big red flag. I put money on it you were not the first or will be the last to he has attempted to engage in some kind of an affair. Take a step back, check your moral values and draw the line. This is no friendship girl.....if your husband or bf had a friend like you that was going out on dates and kissed what would be your opinion about her? Ya huh . 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, introverted1 said: No, he's not in love. Might be in lust. Not a good situation for you. Find someone who actually can be in love with you. My guess is he is trying to hit though because he got cut off last time. Don’t see any thing here that says love. Edited December 20, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 He's running game on you, and buttering you up to stroke your ego. He's hoping it will pay off at some point in the form of sex. He knows that: 1. You are single and obviously lacking in male attention AND 2. Women love sticking it to other women Instead of being flattered and asking if it means he's in love with you, you should be disgusted that he's targeting you. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted December 20, 2020 Share Posted December 20, 2020 13 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: Hi everyone, there’s this guy that I’ve been friends/friendly with for about 2 years now. I know him from work. He initiated contact after a business meeting and we kind of became friends. We met a few time, had a drink and laughed. We did really hit it off and I did wished he was single, LOL. But, he’s been with his GF (not wife) for over 10 years and they have 2 children. so I really kept him off. He texted me every few months, just wanting to stay in contact. Saying that he’s thinking of me, claiming that he gets all ‘warm and fuzzy’ inside when he is thinks about me. We did kiss and touched at one point, which I stopped bc I felt guilty towards his GF. I wanted nothing more then a friendship, since he’s taken. If he would be single then yeah sure, he would totally be my type. Last few months, he seems to open up more. The texts are longer and a bit more personal. He’s always the one initiating contact. He asked if I could meet him next month and we set a date. He says he’s really looking forward to meeting me again en we discussed some superficial stuff about politics. To my surprise, last night at 03.45 he sended me a big heart-Emoji. Nothing else, just the emoji. since then, I don’t know what he feels, what his intentions are etc. Could he be in love? Is he just ‘warming me up’ for our meeting? Good to know: I’m currently single. He’s about ten years older then me But this isn't practically out of nowhere. You've been involved with him intimately already by your own admission, that you and he made out (a few times??) but you stopped it from progressing to sex (you haven't had sex with him, have you). You did this willingly; already knowing he has two children with his 10-year girlfriend. And, despite starting things with him, you allow him to stay in contact with you via texting for the past few months KNOWING he is sexually attracted to you as well. You know exactly what he feels, what his intention are. Come on. You already kissed him, knowing he was cheating on his long-time partner so you can't claim innocence now on what he wants from you. You know he wants sex from you. So, do you want to have an affair with him? He is definitely grooming you with his text messages. He is conditioning you to give in to having sex with him, on his terms. He knows you are sexually attracted to him already, b/c you willingly kissed him. What do you want to happen? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 23 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: he’s been with his GF (not wife) for over 10 years and they have 2 children. Run 👟👟 before he starts feeding you the "we're just like roommates" lines. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 I usually say that any interaction with someone of the opposite sex is just friendship so as to err on the side of caution, but this is not at all the behaviour of someone who considers you even a close friend. To answer the thread title, it's not the heart emoji just on it's own, it's within context of everything else. And you even said you've kissed him at some point. He's clearly attracted to you, and you've admitted you find him attractive and would go there if he was single. The question is, if he were to stay in his current relationship, what would you expect from this? If it had to mean you remained friends, would you be OK with that long term? Do you know that he will be OK with that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kismetkismet Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 (edited) This doesn't sound out of nowhere to me, it sounds like the two of you have had an ongoing flirtation for literally years. You can't be 'friends' with this guy. He has a partner - 10 years and a baby is a pretty substantial relationship, even if they haven't signed any legal papers about it. If he's this shady behind her back then he is not a good guy. I would cancel the date and end the friendship rather than let him drag the two of you along on whatever mess you're headed towards. Edited December 21, 2020 by kismetkismet 2 Link to post Share on other sites
tempover100 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 Ask him what's up with his new behavior. Could be innocent or he's playing a game. I'm guessing the latter, and he'll probably back track once you bring it up. Then draw a firm line in the sand. People like that don't draw the line. Heart emoji at 3 am? I don't even text my best friend of 35 years that. And we are very close. People like him leave the lines blurred, and put the onus on you to draw it. Well, they can later say something like, "you knew I was in a relationship with kids", "I never wanted anything serious" etc, when things get more serious than intended. Seen this happen too many times. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 On 12/20/2020 at 5:10 AM, Savannah1990 said: He asked if I could meet him next month and we set a date. there’s this guy that I’ve been friends/friendly with for about 2 years now. I know him from work. he’s been with his GF (not wife) for over 10 years and they have 2 children. So him being in a relationship wasn't sprung on you 3 days ago... you've been knowing for 2 years that he's off limits, so why are you kissing him and planning dates with him? Don't be that kind of chick--you know this is inappropriate and if he'd do it with you, he'll do it to you--he's showing you that right now. Keep this a professional relationship and let him go trawling for a side piece somewhere else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amygirl908 Posted December 21, 2020 Share Posted December 21, 2020 ECHO what everyone else has said. This will go no where good. Morals/bad behavior issues aside - even if everything you ever dreamed of came true and he leaves his GF/common law wife and you guys get together... You will never ever be able to trust that he wouldn't do this to YOU later on. The heart emoji is not a sign of love, or anything for that matter. It's the sprinkles on the icing on the cake. Get out ASAP. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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