ShyViolet Posted December 18, 2020 Posted December 18, 2020 Frankly, this is a bizarre thing to have a fight with your boyfriend about and I think you are being unreasonable. You have no right to get angry at him for not wanting to be an organ donor. It's a personal choice. The fact that you would get angry at him about that is just strange and inappropriate. It's just not your place to tell him what he should do in regards to donating organs or not. If you don't like his outlook on life, the fact that he's pessimistic and angsty and negative, well then ok. Maybe you two are not compatible. Maybe you don't have enough in common. Break up with him if you really dislike his outlook on life and his values so much. 3 1
Versacehottie Posted December 18, 2020 Posted December 18, 2020 15 hours ago, throwawaygoblin said: yeah pretty much all the time, though whenever i tell him he is he just says he's a "realist." even tho i am an optimist it doesn't usually bother me and we just laugh over our differences in opinions, but this time it's a bit much I think this ^^^ is bound to bug you as much as anything. Someone who is that pessimistic about humans and people in the world is on the opposite end of your value system. Given that you are BOTH really passionate about issues and beliefs it seems like it ultimately will be a waste of time and frustration for you if we can fast forward a few years. People can absolutely hold differently values and it can work but I think if BOTH people have strongly held values and they are opposed that is a huge problem. Not to mention the overall outlook on life regardless of feelings on world issues, ie optimist vs pessimist is a huge problem. Lol, girl I don't know why you'd want to sign up for that. I think he was a little insensitive or maybe cold and you were probably a little over-emotional and overreacted a bit. I think this is such a personal issue that just because he loves you doesn't mean he needs to hold you view as a representation of his love. I feel like if it bothers you and you slightly believe along those lines or it bothers you that someone is so callous and cold and almost overly rational about it, you can probably find a better match. Either a guy who might be as blunt but holds the same views or someone that is more fluid in his views and rides the waves of your emotions with you and goes with it a bit more to make you happy. Shortskirts said it (i think) but I do think it's a thing of incompatibility. It might not feel like because on a surface level of having fun, things are fine. In the end, you will want a guy you can respect. If you can't respect a stranger on the street for saying what he said, your vision is just clouded by your affection for him. To me, it sounds like you would not be able to respect a stranger on the street if they said the exact same position to you about organ donation. In that case, I don't see a future with him for you--cut it now so you don't waste time Good luck
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 18, 2020 Posted December 18, 2020 You make decisions for your body, and he makes decisions for his body. Why make it complicated and go looking for bones to pick? 1 1
amygirl908 Posted December 18, 2020 Posted December 18, 2020 I would say you're overreacting if this was simply about someone's decision about whether or not to be an organ donor. However, it seems like this is more of a values issue and that's hard because whether or not you're overreacting is completely up to you. Only you can decide. Personally I've found that relationships can overcome a lot of things in life, but values that don't align can cause some serious problems. I wish you the best in figuring out the answer and I hope that no matter what you do the thing that is right and best for you. 2 1
notbroken Posted December 18, 2020 Posted December 18, 2020 Honestly, the idea that you are thinking of breaking up with a boyfriend of a year over if he is an organ donor says more about you than him (I immediately noted your age quite frankly). Do you agree with him on every single life/death issue? I doubt it. I also doubt you will find anyone that you are in 100% agreement with. Learn to tolerate differences. If they are too big then move on but this seems pretty trivial to break up with someone over. Yes, I am an organ donor and want to help people any way I reasonably can (and feel pretty strongly about it) - but I wouldn't dump someone if they weren't. People are allowed to have a different mindset and outlook on life than me. They are also allowed to have a different mindset and outlook than you. Life will be hard until you get that. 2 2
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