bubsMami Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Well, here's my situation...I've been with "D" for 3 years...We are both 18 years old and have an 8-month old son.. In the beginning of our relationship, like any relationship, it was great!!But soon after...there was lying lying and more lying...Not only on his part but on mine...Even if it was minor...It's STILL a lie! Anyway, we started having problems dealing with trust...We gave it a try and once one of us were doing good the other screws up yet, we still very much loved each other...So we tried and we again worked. On our 2nd year..there was alot happening i found a number in his room called it and found out he had been talking to another girl for a while...loving him so much i let that go....then later that year i found out from one of his friends girlfriends that he had been screwing around with one of her friends friends.. but i let that go too because i loved him so much i didnt want to let him go[i know, it was stupid!!]... then we again had more problems...and decided to see other people but eventually ended up back together. & anyone id talk to about my problems would tell me to put my foot down...or let him go...but it was hard...Then our problems started arising again.. and we split... It was then I found out I was pregnant. He denied the baby...from what I've heard he told people it was someone whom we both know's baby. It hurt me so bad, but he eventually admitted and started coming around for me... Only a couple of times he came with me to my appoinments...but I tried not to mind him because i was thinking of our child inside of me. The middle of my 2nd trimester..He turned back into same ol' immature..."I'M-GOING-WITH-MY-FRIENDS" guy. So i cried because he said i didn't need him until the baby was born & he wasn't there when i needed him emotionally.Then my 3rd trimester came around...so did he but it was long until i became, once again, last on his list. Finally, I gave birth... we seemed happy that day, but that day I went home from the hospital he left early to hang out with his friends...I called his cell and he told me that he wont be long and that he was celebrating because of our son's arrival. I knew otherwise..but i didnt want to stress so i said whatever. he would come by everyday for about 2 months then it would be like whenever he felt like it afterwards... I told him time after time how he made me feel like crap, like i wasn't important or like i was only there for his "pleasure". Then i told him he had to be coming over more often...so he said ok...he did for a while then went back to the same old thing. and when he would come over..he's eat, sleep, or watch a movie then leave... Yeah he would play with our son and sometimes make him sleep... but as for changing him...NO...feeding him...NO..nothing like that, he hasn't even helped us pay our hospital bills. So, i kept getting tired of it...and I would tell him time after time...But, its like nothing...he wouldn't even try to change anything... he'd still go on his way...go out at night not even call or anything...he'll even go days without seeing his son. So finally i had it in me to tell him we should just be friends. And he told me, "if thats what you want ok." So, that was it...JUST FRIENDS! yet he'd still come by at his own convenience, do the same damn thing...it was all routine. Finally, I started talking to one of my GUY friends, i'll call him "J"...this guy, he is so in love with me but he already knows that we will never be anything more than that...and he accepts it..."J" and "D" hate each other...but he wouldn't try to talk bad about "D". he would just listen to me... let me let out all my feelings...but he never once tried to ever change my mind about how i felt for "D". So anyway, this one day, COINCEDENTLY, i kept calling around looking for "D" because i wanted to know if he was going to come by so he can just buy lunch for us...But i could'nt get ahold of him...ANYWHERE...he wasn't even answering his cell...then SURPRISINGLY, i hear a knock on my door thinking it's "D"...but no its "J" with lunch for me!! im so freaked out but i invite him in..then 3 minutes later he says, "there's "D" " and I'm like,"you're lying!" but "D" was there... Ok..so knowing that they hate each other I panicked! I told "J" to stand in the hallway so "D" doesn't see him at the window.. I didn't want to answer the door because i know something bad betweent the 2 would happen and if "D" does anything to "J" then "J" could press charges on him because "J" is still a minor and "D" isn't. So Then finally "D" gave up knocking... went to "J" car where "J's" friend was and "D" yelled and said that it was on! then "D" left!.. then "J" left..."D" came by later that night and my parents were yelling at me telling me I was wrong..my mom asked "D" if he still wanted to be with me and he came straight out and said no...then 2 days after he came by to pick something up and i asked him if we could work things out he said no because he doesnt know what "J" and i did...when HONESTLY we did not do anything!!! NOTHING! zip! nada!NOTHING!... He told me tha everyone knows and if he gets back with me he'll look stupid.. I asked him," why do you care about what other people say?" then he just said...No...Ill look stupid. he said it hurt..then i told him "if not for me then for our son"...but he said NO! it was then in my head..." what about all the times you fcked up?! and I gave you those chances!...I was a saint to i was so damned faithful to you.." but then i held it in and watched him leave...now I need to ask you all who are reading this... "what do I do!?!...I feel like crap everytime im around him...i miss him more when i see him... sometimes i want to be with him...but when i think of everything, i can't seem to find a reason why i should be...[besides our son].." i cant find a way to let him go because to me...I only feel right with him... i dont know...im so lost...and my heart hurts... PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!! i need advice!!!
bunnzy Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 Sigh You are so young. Too young to be worrying about all this. But its too late now. 'j' is still a minor you said? Stop hanging out with him, you dont want to burden him with your ex and your baby. 'd' sounds like a total jerk. Do not let him near your child until you have legal custody and he has proper visiting rights. He has to help you support baby. Stop 'loving' this 'd' guy and look after yourself and your baby. If you work on yourself one day you will meet a guy that would never even dream of being unfaithful. Its so worth it.
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