ABernie Posted December 15, 2020 Posted December 15, 2020 I recently met someone and we connected on many levels. Around Thanksgiving, he tested for Covid. He has a severe case. They wanted to check him into the hospital, but he didn't want to for a few reasons. Obviously, we could not see each other for a bit. He's not contagious anymore, but still weak and not up to doing anything, which is completely understandable. But texting and calls have dropped to nothing. If this is typical sick behavior for some, I'm completely OK with that, but if he wasn't sick, it would seem like disinterest. I just hate texting when the last text wasn't answered. But I don't like that I know he's very ill and not checking in. Ugh. Not sure what advice I need, so open to any thoughts.
FMW Posted December 15, 2020 Posted December 15, 2020 I've heard that for some people it takes a long time to feel ok again. For now I would give him the benefit of the doubt. If you only recently met you probably haven't established a very deep connection yet so he isn't going to automatically turn to you. And some people just like to be left alone when they aren't feeling well, as you know. I think checking in on him once a week is ok, but if he's not responding don't text any more than that. If he doesn't respond at all after a few weeks, I would let it go. He likely has other people in his life checking in on him. 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 15, 2020 Posted December 15, 2020 2 hours ago, ABernie said: I recently met someone Around Thanksgiving, he tested for Covid. Have you met in person? Just back away whether he's sick,lost interest, whatever... It doesn't matter. He is not ready, willing or able to date. 5
Watercolors Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 I'm not clear. Did you two meet in person? Did you date in person? Or, did you just spend weeks texting and calling each other? I agree with Wiseman. Just leave him be. He's not interested in dating you anymore or he would have kept in touch. Online dating is about dating multiple people. You are better off just going back to your dating app, and trying to set up more first dates with other guys. 1
tempover100 Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 (edited) If he is recovering from covid I would give him a bit of slack. I know people that also tested positive and the symptoms vary wildly - from typical flu like symptoms, needing to be hospitalized, or worse death. If it was as bad as he says it was, he may have a longer road to recovery. There are still studies being done, and testimonials from patients who say they still suffer residual effects from the virus. As a collective, we don't know what this does to people long term just yet. I'm sure it's very scary for him to feel weak and still try to keep the pace with you as before. This is all to say, try to put yourself in their shoes. Maybe check in once in a while if it feels right to do so, but also realize this may not be the right time to move forward with anything. Edited December 16, 2020 by tempover100 2
Miss Spider Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 (edited) I completely agree with Wiseman. You don’t know really why he is not responding. It could be anything. This is why people should never give the “I’m sick“ excuse if it is just an excuse. There are a ton of better ones. Especially with something like Covid, where the symptoms can last a very long time afterwards. I would just send a text like “hey I’m worried about you hope you’re ok. Don’t want to bother you though, so hit me up when you’re feeling better” and leave the ball in his court. Edited December 16, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Fletch Lives Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 When I'm sick I don't want to do anything. And if it's chronic, can't blame him for not checking in 2
Saracena Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 On 12/15/2020 at 2:49 AM, ABernie said: He's not contagious anymore, but still weak and not up to doing anything, which is completely understandable. But texting and calls have dropped to nothing. If that'a the case then leave him be, whatever the reason! 1
ShyViolet Posted December 17, 2020 Posted December 17, 2020 You're assuming that the reason he's not responding is because he's been sick, but it sounds like it's very possible that he's just not interested. He's either so sick and not feeling well that he's not in a place where he can think about dating right now, or he is simply not interested. Either way, this is not going to work so you should just leave him alone.
Wiseman2 Posted December 17, 2020 Posted December 17, 2020 On 12/14/2020 at 9:49 PM, ABernie said: He's not contagious anymore, but still weak and not up to doing anything, which is completely understandable. But texting and calls have dropped to nothing. Unfortunately it seems he has taken the covid parachute out of the relationship.
Author ABernie Posted December 19, 2020 Author Posted December 19, 2020 Thank you all. Just as I had accepted the disinterest, he messaged. He had a bad few days and is better. Getting together this weekend. I'm just such a chatterbox and social even when sick. 1 1
Ellener Posted December 19, 2020 Posted December 19, 2020 18 minutes ago, ABernie said: Thank you all. Just as I had accepted the disinterest, he messaged. He had a bad few days and is better. Getting together this weekend. I'm just such a chatterbox and social even when sick. I've been ill on and off all year, the last time this guy called me I had to stop talking abruptly as I had a nosebleed! It's been quite a year for dating. Or rather not dating!
d0nnivain Posted December 19, 2020 Posted December 19, 2020 You have unreasonable expectations. You want a person diagnosed with a disease that has killed millions world wide to text you. What? ??????? Now the 1st thing this guy is doing after having contracted & allegedly healed from this debilitating condition is go on a date with you. Way to play Russian Roulette with your own health. How impatient are you? What would be the harm in waiting until the new year to meet so he could be fully restored to health? You need to learn patience & empathy. Both are apparently lacking. Have a good time on your date.
Author ABernie Posted December 22, 2020 Author Posted December 22, 2020 On 12/19/2020 at 9:09 AM, d0nnivain said: You need to learn patience & empathy. Both are apparently lacking. Wow, not sure how you could get all of the above from my few short sentences. But that's your judgment. Perhaps I left out pieces (like meeting - didn't realize that wouldn't be a given), but all is well.
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