Kaarek Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 So, she told you her life goal is to be happy. Well, sorry to burst your bubbles, but I haven't met a single person that wants to live a miserable life. We all want to be happy. Her replies and actions are generic, which is pretty much a reflection of her age too. I used to think I was mature at the age of 20; Oh boy, was I wrong. Anyhow, this post isn't about me. Like many conveyed in this post, She just wants a buddy by her side, nothing more. Have some self-respect and meet another woman. You’ll do yourself a huge favor. P.S. I'd consider dating someone that's at least 25+ or in a similar life stage. You might like younger girls because they're hot etc.. But you're soon 30, you might wanna think long-term, before it's too late. Best of Luck, Gabriel 3
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 Glad you talked to her & finally understand that you two are on the same page. I'm sorry it didn't work out but I'm happy for you that you have a better understanding of what you do want & now how to get it -- by dating a woman closer to your own life stage; by talking & by being true to yourself.
Miss Spider Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 28 minutes ago, Kaarek said: So, she told you her life goal is to be happy. Well, sorry to burst your bubbles, but I haven't met a single person that wants to live a miserable life. We all want to be happy. Her replies and actions are generic, which is pretty much a reflection of her age too. I used to think I was mature at the age of 20; Oh boy, was I wrong. Anyhow, this post isn't about me. Like many conveyed in this post, She just wants a buddy by her side, nothing more. Have some self-respect and meet another woman. You’ll do yourself a huge favor. P.S. I'd consider dating someone that's at least 25+ or in a similar life stage. You might like younger girls because they're hot etc.. But you're soon 30, you might wanna think long-term, before it's too late. Best of Luck, Gabriel It might be consistent with her age but the generic doublespeak nonsense is also consistent with someone who is trying to let someone down gently. 2
Author hokage240sx Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: Not sure how it could feel like FWB when you're not having sex, more specifically she refuses to have sex with you. Unless you consider the "benefits" part to mean something other than sex. I'm glad you have finally gotten some closure though. Nix the "friendship," that's not gonna work, I think you know that. Good luck moving forward! well I we gave each other oral last time. I feel horrible.
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, hokage240sx said: well I we gave each other oral last time. I feel horrible. Why do you feel horrible? She probably doesn't. It was fun & that is all that mattered to her. If sex of any sort without commitment is against your moral code, in the future, don't have NSA sex. Saves on the horrible feelings afterwards. 1
Miss Spider Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 (edited) Yea live and learn. Sorry you feel down rn, but try to appreciate it for what it was and move forward. “Doesn’t matter, got head.” Edited December 14, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes
Author hokage240sx Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Why do you feel horrible? She probably doesn't. It was fun & that is all that mattered to her. If sex of any sort without commitment is against your moral code, in the future, don't have NSA sex. Saves on the horrible feelings afterwards. no, I just feel horrible about how things are not reciprocated. I feel so weak for asking her these questions, and being insecure. worst part is that she said that she thinks the relationship is serious and likes how its going? its like contradictory. she even agreed to a date on Saturday. horrible . today im gonna spend all day searching for a job since they let us go due to the pandemic. 1 minute ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Yea live and learn.sorry you feel down, but try to appreciate it for what it was and move forward. “Doesn’t matter, got head.” haha doesn't matter got head, nice 1
d0nnivain Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 Just now, hokage240sx said: no, I just feel horrible about how things are not reciprocated. I feel so weak for asking her these questions, and being insecure. worst part is that she said that she thinks the relationship is serious and likes how its going? Asking questions is NOT weak nor did it make you insecure. You are allowed to know where you stand in your own life. Weak & insecure people repeatedly ask for affirmation. Once conversation is informative. You now have better insight into her. It's all about perspective. Draw the # 6 on a piece of paper & look at it. Then turn the paper upside down 180 degrees. Now it's a 9. It's all perspective.
Author hokage240sx Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 11 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Asking questions is NOT weak nor did it make you insecure. You are allowed to know where you stand in your own life. Weak & insecure people repeatedly ask for affirmation. Once conversation is informative. You now have better insight into her. It's all about perspective. Draw the # 6 on a piece of paper & look at it. Then turn the paper upside down 180 degrees. Now it's a 9. It's all perspective. Its just that in the past, I had asked questions like this before. but these are the most clear. Thats a good way to put how the same thing can look different to each person through perspective. do you mean the perspective on the relationship?
Fletch Lives Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 Some young women that age are not ready to fall in love - it sounds like you have one of those.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 8 hours ago, hokage240sx said: Alright, finally got a good update on my current relationship of 5 months. I finally had the courage to ask questions that should have been asked ago, we had a very open talk. I feel sad cause I got invested so quick and my pace was a lot faster than the girl. But im finally relieved I know where is stand. I may not chose to continue this, or I may just keep her as a friend. So basically we both acknowledged that the age gap of 20 and 28 is pretty large and we are both on very different stages in life. She told me her life goals are to be happy and hopefully her hard work in school will pay off. She said that she is taking our relationship serious now, but no labels. she also said that her relationship goals are to just go with the flow with me. she said that a relationship is not her priority at the time. she said her communication style is that she prefers to talk everyone and a while, that she prefers to just talk in person, so we don't run out of things to say. she isn't too worried about meeting up every week, but most of the time it is weekly. but based of her actions she doesn't seem to worried if we hang out weekly. I finally realized where I stand, its obviously very casual. Its probably not worth my effort, it requires me to always to all the initiating as well. I guess I don't feel very valued, which is what ill probably want from a future relationship. we are on the best terms we have every been, very open, feels like fwb slightly. yea it kinda bums me out, I can't put my finger on why exactly. many of you guys were right, thank you for your replies She might be back when she turns 40, suddenly wants a family even though her eggs are now expiring, and realizes her degree can't keep her warm and happy at night. 2
JRabbit Posted December 14, 2020 Posted December 14, 2020 8 hours ago, hokage240sx said: She said that she is taking our relationship serious now, but no labels. she also said that her relationship goals are to just go with the flow with me. she said that a relationship is not her priority at the time. Shes taking it seriously, but its not a priority nor will she label it? This is not really a relationship then. She wants to do her thing and still have you to take her out on dates on the side. 1 1
Author hokage240sx Posted December 14, 2020 Author Posted December 14, 2020 5 hours ago, Fletch Lives said: Some young women that age are not ready to fall in love - it sounds like you have one of those. yea, I understand, she has a lot to experience still. 4 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: She might be back when she turns 40, suddenly wants a family even though her eggs are now expiring, and realizes her degree can't keep her warm and happy at night. hahahah, thank you, that comforts me. 4 hours ago, JRabbit said: Shes taking it seriously, but its not a priority nor will she label it? This is not really a relationship then. She wants to do her thing and still have you to take her out on dates on the side. she says she is really happy were we are, that she is taking it seriously, that she is taking it really slow, and no labels. no its really not, she doesn't want it to be at this time. thats exactly what is happening, during the conversation we had yesterday we actually agreed to meet up Saturday night. smh 1
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