Author mortensorchid Posted December 16, 2020 Author Posted December 16, 2020 Quite honestly, if they don't even have the courtesy of rescheduling or even attempting to reschedule, in my experience, they are not that serious about it. And both of them have had enough time to do so. They might be sitting by the phone thinking "why doesn't she reach out to me?" Well, I have done that in the past a few times. They either do not respond or we'll have a bit of texting for a while, then ... nothing. Frigid and unbending? Well, defense mechanisms come up when we are being threatened.
balletomane Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 MO, I think the point people are trying to make here is that you seem to go on every single date with a negative attitude, and this means that the behaviour of the men becomes irrelevant after a while - even when you had guys who sounded genuinely interested, you were still complaining and criticising. You expect a level of enthusiasm from men that you aren't willing to show yourself, only you see your actual unenthusiasm as a defence mechanism/self-protection and theirs (perceived or actual) as a character flaw. You wrote in another recent thread that you actively try to be "distant and closed off" with others. Why do you expect that to go down well with anyone, romantic prospect or otherwise? It is a turn-off and potential dates will experience this as you rebuffing them. Now you talk about deleting Hinge as though it's the app's fault that there isn't a pool of men willing to drive two hours to have dinner with someone who presents herself as terminally uninterested. You are sabotaging your own chances here, assuming you actually do want a relationship. 4
Trail Blazer Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 11 hours ago, mortensorchid said: Quite honestly, if they don't even have the courtesy of rescheduling or even attempting to reschedule, in my experience, they are not that serious about it. And both of them have had enough time to do so. They might be sitting by the phone thinking "why doesn't she reach out to me?" Well, I have done that in the past a few times. They either do not respond or we'll have a bit of texting for a while, then ... nothing. Frigid and unbending? Well, defense mechanisms come up when we are being threatened. At some point in time you are going to have to face the fact that you're playing a huge part in your own lack of dating success. Of course they are not that serious. You're stating the obvious. Your focus should be on why they keep flaking. You've had a lot of constructive advice provided in many of your threads yet you seem unwilling to take any of it on board. Albert Einstein reportedly said it first, and his phrase, if he indeed did first coin it, can certainly be correctly used in this context; "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." 2
Interstellar Posted December 16, 2020 Posted December 16, 2020 (edited) I’ve read most of your threads and really it’s time for you to try something new, something out of the box, Have you tried matchmakers? Try and see if you have Tawkify in your area or something similar. Be ready to pay extra money for it. Or go to Fiverr and there’s a lot of people there that will help you find or attract soulmates. Heck, you might as well get some divine intervention help from angels, spiritual guides, and some other celestial beings lol, leave no table unturned. Edited December 16, 2020 by Interstellar
Author mortensorchid Posted December 17, 2020 Author Posted December 17, 2020 I suppose, OP. I've tried and tried and tried all angles possible and it goes no where. I am going to give it up in general.
Wiseman2 Posted December 17, 2020 Posted December 17, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, mortensorchid said: . I am going to give it up in general. Always a good idea to take a break if you feel burnout. It's a combination of many factors. The brutality of OLD in itself, the odds, and one's personal wants, needs, input and outlook. Take a rest, regroup and see how you feel in the New year. Edited December 17, 2020 by Wiseman2
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