Smaller sized men

[Starswillshine]

And remember, maybe a woman has a "preference" in that she would like to have someone this specific height, with this specific hair and eye color, but that girl hasn't met you yet. And maybe you are THE one. Who knows. A preference, to me, is if you could perfectly design a person who would it be, it is not real. I don't really have a preference. Most guys I have dated were average, I guess. My ex-husband was 5'6. 

[major_merrick]

@Starswillshine Honestly, height is relative anyway.  If a guy is 5' 6" in reality, he can always add an inch (or even two) on his profile and who is going to check?  And there are ways to compensate, too.

My husband has a bit of "short guy syndrome."  His father is tall, his other male relatives are tall.  Society expects tall men and idolizes them.  My husband felt self-conscious for years, but he dealt with it.  His boots have an extra thick heel and thick insoles.  Not enough to be noticeable if you look at them, but it gives him almost an extra inch.  He keeps his hair fairly fluffy on the top of his head....that adds an extra half inch.  So, in public, he appears more like 5'10" than 5'8".  IIRC, the "average" height for the American male is supposed to be around 5'8".  So if you are a couple of inches shorter, you can use shoes and hair to nearly make up the difference between yourself and average. 

Funny thing I've noticed is that shorter guys tend to do really well for themselves in the end.  One of my husband's friends is a bit on the short side.  Imagine a 5'6" Viking.  Really stocky dude with a huge beard who drives a huge truck.  Until he found the right one and got married, that guy always had 2-3 girls hanging on him.  His shortness and insecurity drove him to become a success at work, and to put himself forward boldly.  It worked. 

OP, don't let your size get you down.  Be yourself, compensate a bit, and be bold.  You'll be surprised at who you meet....and it really only takes one girl.  The RIGHT girl. 

[ShyViolet]

I've dated more than one guy who is your height, OP.  I wouldn't have a problem with this at all.  As long as you aren't shorter than the woman you are dating, I don't think it should necessarily be a problem.  And it's not hard to find a woman that is shorter than 5'6.

[Lotsgoingon]

Of course there is a bias against shorter guys, but you're not THAT short. I know guys who are 5' 4" who have regular girlfriends. 

Remember, we don't date the "average" woman or man or whatever. We're looking for one person who we click with. And preferences are often flexible. Even among women who have preferences for a taller man, that doesn't mean they wouldn't date a shorter guy.  A shorter guy might tickle her funny bone or bring some other quality that makes the other preference recede in importance.

I was at a conference not long ago. Saw this woman standing around. Thought she might be a worker setting up the conference. Didn't want to hit on a worker. Didn't think she was all that attractive. Turns out, she was the main speaker at the conference and she was a dazzling speaker. She instantly became 10 x more attractive in my eyes. Why? Well I love women who are good storytellers and speakers. 

A good way to approach confidence is to think less about "being confident" or "seeming confident" and focus more on being proud of your strengths, your humor, your interests and bring that attitude, that awareness to meeting people. Focus on your strengths and just realize that there are people who will get your strengths. Those are the ones you want to date (and this is regardless of height). 

Yes, you can start by focusing on women your height or shorter, especially if that feels easier to you. And go from there. I've dated multiple women who were taller than me. Didn't even cross my mind at the time. I mean intellectually I knew the woman was taller--but didn't cross my mind as an issue that I should be insecure about.  It was only later in conversations about dating did I realize, "Oh, this is an issue sometimes." One of my exes said she was always taller than the guys she dated, so early in her life she threw out height as a criteria for dating.  It was funny walking with her sometimes, especially when we passed a mirrored storefront. She was 80 percent legs. I have short legs. Definitely looked like a mismatch on a quick glance as we walked by holding hands. She didn't care a lick. (She just wanted to be complimented and appreciated.) And two seconds after seeing us in the mirror, I didn't care a lick. 

Just get out there and meet people. 

[Versacehottie]

1 hour ago, ThatDude76 said:

Thank you again, for your help.

I already know they're woman biased against my size, and yes probably more than I would like haha. ( I imagine at least 60%-80% would be at least turned off somewhat by it, and many more much so. )

I suppose what I am asking is if there are woman who could see it as a plus, or at least not a negative. Like for example, I know lots of guys like to say silly s*** like they love big breasts, but I also know a few that say they prefer small ones!

I understand my size is not a preference for most, and I am OK with that. 

Sure I'm sure some girls do.  I just gave you examples from my life of where the guy met the threshold of what I found was attractive and it was a plus.  Like I might prioritize bone structure of face, hair, smile OVER height as I'm sure other girls do as well.  It's not an exact science that I think is the answer you are looking for.  I can tell you fit, slim is a great thing for a lot of girls. vs overly muscular or overweight.   So you are seeing it as binary choices where it probably is more like a dimmer mix of a combo of things.  But on the binary on-off switch will your body type be some girls exact preference, no other factors in play--yes of course it will be.  Honestly, I think not as much on a bell curve statistic if i were to guess BUT absolutely yes some people will PREFER your physique.  I think you will shoot yourself in the foot, fixating on that when there are other entrances to attraction. Plus the fixation is really just masked insecurity about it.  It's like you are looking for proof that some girl will like your shape--when the part that matter is some girl will like you IN TOTAL and want a relationship with you.  Some girls WILL see it as a plus though--I suggest you just roll with it and assume they do if they are interested in you.

Like your example of big boobs.  A guy can prefer that and then end up with a smaller boobs girl or prefer blondes but end up with a brunette.  Perfectly happy and in love.  Their preferences might adjust from being exposed to someone they feel attraction to on the whole and in a deep loving way.  Let's say even they end up breaking up but because of the exposure to a smaller boobed girl or a brunette they now find those people attractive too.  I think many guys are like this.  Like they have their initial preferences for looks but lots of other looks can still be acceptable and good for them too. Once you get past that first stage, often people are evaluating in another realm--like the one about personality and values, etc.  that's why even the most beautiful models or women can lose their appeal to a partner, because it was only skin deep to begin with. There is nothing behind it or not the right mix for the partner.  IMO, once you have traction with your foot in the door about physique (as long as it remains the same), and you are dating, a girl isn't really going to chuck you out suddenly finding you unattractive, all other things considered.

I'd say your size ITSELF and only for initial attraction. let's say on an app where height is listed or you can see that you have a very slight build in a photo, is a less common preference for the masses of women overall.  Most of my girlfriends prefer tall guys and a little bigger. (has to be an evolutionary reason to this & a superficial one that we do not like to be bigger than our guys typically). Does that mean everyone? No. I know you know this already.  You can't beat yourself up about something you can't change (by much).  You can't wish the world would be different. You have to seek out those that appreciate you and are attracted to you as you are.  You have to optimize what you can be (which applies to all guys/girls) to attract the best partners and maximize your choices.

[flitzanu]

i mean, i'm pretty sure you're taller than Tom Cruise, so you've got that going for you, dude

[MsJayne]

4 hours ago, smackie9 said:

It's not your height, it's your confidence that attracts women. I have dated short fat skinny and tall.

Me too. Hell, I've even dated a small, skinny guy with red hair. 

[kismetkismet]

Definitely! I've mostly dated smaller guys without really realizing it. I'm 5"2 and only dated one guy that was over 6 foot - it was actually kind of annoying because our bodies didn't seem to 'fit'. He'd have to bend way over to kiss me and when we'd put our arms around each other while standing he was like a million miles away. 

[Miss Spider]

I’m 5’6 and small build. Just me, but I’d like to feel like the smaller one. Like, when they are naked their shoulders shouldn’t be as narrow as mine. Just my preference. There are a lot of other things that are more important than that though, of course. A lot of people I’ve dated have been pretty tall, and one that was really ‘big’ and that’s not really my preference either. I think I actually prefer slightly taller than me. So around 5’9-6’. Can still heels. They tend to have the faces I like too. A lot of my friends act like they won’t consider short men at all. Some of my friends have no problem with it. Again, in general, other factors have far more importance to women.  
 

That’s just my opinion though.

Edited December 8, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[kiwistwbry]

It really depends on personal preference, but I’m sure a lot of women don’t mind either way!

You could also seek out shorter women...

Don’t know if you’ve tried dating apps, but there are some with settings that allow you to narrow down your search based on height. 

Edited December 8, 2020 by kiwistwbry

[Foxhall]

7 hours ago, ThatDude76 said:

To be blunt, I am a smaller sized man. I am 169cm ( which I think is 5'6" and a half

A small man with a big heart,

Its a slight disadvantage- excuse the pun- but not a big deal,

I am on the smaller side too though a little bigger than you,

probably now had more success with smaller women come to think of it- 

[FMW]

I'm 5'8" and fell really hard for a guy a few years ago that was 5'7.  I didn't really ever give it much thought, like I said, I was seriously into him and the height wasn't ever a factor.

I'm currently involved with someone who is very tall, 6'7".  His height doesn't come into play as far as my attraction for him goes either.

So definitely for some women height isn't an issue.      

[ThereSheGoes]

Confidence confidence confidence. It's aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalll about your confidence. I myself like shorter men, because I'm only 5'3.  What am I going to do with 6'4? That's a lot to climb, and A LOT to straddle.

The last guy I dated seriously was 5'3 and a 140 pounds. He had an amazing personality, everyone liked him, and he was sexy to me. 

When people bring up things they can't help, like height, it boggles my brain. It just seems so trivial in the scheme of things? This isn't the 80's and we're not teenagers.

[ThatDude76]

19 hours ago, major_merrick said:

@Starswillshine Honestly, height is relative anyway.  If a guy is 5' 6" in reality, he can always add an inch (or even two) on his profile and who is going to check?  And there are ways to compensate, too.

My husband has a bit of "short guy syndrome."  His father is tall, his other male relatives are tall.  Society expects tall men and idolizes them.  My husband felt self-conscious for years, but he dealt with it.  His boots have an extra thick heel and thick insoles.  Not enough to be noticeable if you look at them, but it gives him almost an extra inch.  He keeps his hair fairly fluffy on the top of his head....that adds an extra half inch.  So, in public, he appears more like 5'10" than 5'8".  IIRC, the "average" height for the American male is supposed to be around 5'8".  So if you are a couple of inches shorter, you can use shoes and hair to nearly make up the difference between yourself and average. 

Funny thing I've noticed is that shorter guys tend to do really well for themselves in the end.  One of my husband's friends is a bit on the short side.  Imagine a 5'6" Viking.  Really stocky dude with a huge beard who drives a huge truck.  Until he found the right one and got married, that guy always had 2-3 girls hanging on him.  His shortness and insecurity drove him to become a success at work, and to put himself forward boldly.  It worked. 

OP, don't let your size get you down.  Be yourself, compensate a bit, and be bold.  You'll be surprised at who you meet....and it really only takes one girl.  The RIGHT girl. 

I'm not so self conscious about my height so much, more just my size in general. Like if I was a 5'6" broad shoulder Viking type guy, I would probably be more confident in my build. I'm more lean, think of a taller guy with a more delicate build just scaled down. 

I'm actually one of the tallest in my family, my Father is only 5'3" and my mom is 5' flat. 

Not sure exactly what you mean by compensate, but I feel like I tend to focus on my appearance more than most dudes my age ( I try to look fashionable and sharp, care for my hair skin teeth religiously etc ). Never thought about it much, but it could be me sub consciously trying to make up for my size ( If i cant be big, I can at least try to look good and handsome ). However, I'm not the type to try to pick fights or be loud and domineering to compensate for my size. 

I made a Hinge profile shortly after my original post, and put my height in as 5'6". I was tempted to round my 5'6" and a half to 5'7" but I felt being more honest and humble about was the right thing to do. I suppose I was maybe overreacting in how much of an issue this would be, cause in less than 24 hours, I had some women send me likes! And out of the ten likes a day you get to send out, two sent me likes back! Not exactly much to brag about, but seems like even for online dating a man of my stature can be okay. 

[Versacehottie]

2 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said:

I'm not so self conscious about my height so much, more just my size in general. Like if I was a 5'6" broad shoulder Viking type guy, I would probably be more confident in my build. I'm more lean, think of a taller guy with a more delicate build just scaled down. 

I'm actually one of the tallest in my family, my Father is only 5'3" and my mom is 5' flat. 

Not sure exactly what you mean by compensate, but I feel like I tend to focus on my appearance more than most dudes my age ( I try to look fashionable and sharp, care for my hair skin teeth religiously etc ). Never thought about it much, but it could be me sub consciously trying to make up for my size ( If i cant be big, I can at least try to look good and handsome ). However, I'm not the type to try to pick fights or be loud and domineering to compensate for my size. 

I made a Hinge profile shortly after my original post, and put my height in as 5'6". I was tempted to round my 5'6" and a half to 5'7" but I felt being more honest and humble about was the right thing to do. I suppose I was maybe overreacting in how much of an issue this would be, cause in less than 24 hours, I had some women send me likes! And out of the ten likes a day you get to send out, two sent me likes back! Not exactly much to brag about, but seems like even for online dating a man of my stature can be okay. 

I'm guessing that is part of the reason you do the bolded above^^^^.  Obviously it's a good thing.  Subconsciously, your mind is hedging all the possible advantages your way.  On the potential negatives, sometimes you can get too obsessed with the looks portion or size, despite women telling you or showing you that it doesn't matter as much as you think it does.  

Also on the REALLY negative, perhaps the person was indicating "compensate" for the famous "short man's syndrome".  Which is DEFINITELY a thing.  I think if you are conducting yourself as you said, that's not really your issue.  Just make sure you don't feel pent-up anger and resentment for fixed qualities that you have or perceived advantages that taller/bigger guys have.  As will keep being emphasized, people have VARIED tastes--so there is pretty much someone for everyone.  It obviously did not stop your mom from liking your dad!

[poppyfields]

On 12/8/2020 at 9:56 AM, major_merrick said:

I find it ridiculous when I see online dating profiles of girls who are about 5 feet tall demanding their "ideal" guy who is 6ft plus.  Do they want to feel like a little kid or something?

I've seen/heard this too. They say a tall guy makes them feel more "feminine." Well true femininity comes from within not from dating a tall man. 

If a woman needs a tall man to feel "feminine," then there are other more serious issues going on with her, like her insecurity related to her own femininity, her lack of emotional depth and inability to see beyond the superficial. 

I'm generalizing but that's what I see among women who insist on being with a 6'+ man and reject any man who is not.

The issue OP imo is not your height, it's your insecurity about your height.  That is what will turn women off, not the fact you are 5'6".

I mean look at Prince!  He was 5'2"!   Was able to pull some of the most beautiful women in the world!  Many much MUCH taller.  

I had a wild crush on him and it wasn't his fame or money.  That had nothing to do with it. 

How do I know this?  Because other famous good looking rich celebrities (like Brad Pitt who is used on LS a lot as being some standard of what all women want lol) does NOTHING for me.  Never did and never will.

Anyway, back to 5'2" Prince .  Confident, charismatic, dynamic, deep, reflective, a true humanitarian.  He also made great music but that's beside the point.  

Guys like him and other men like him with a shorter than average stature, never gave/give their height a second thought. 

It was irrelevant and that is what attracted women.  Their confidence, high self-esteem, security, and comfort in their own skin.

If you can adopt that type of attitude, or even just a fraction of it, the world is your oyster mate.

Edited December 10, 2020 by poppyfields

[mark clemson]

On 12/8/2020 at 7:28 AM, Versacehottie said:

He's handsome and fit and charming.  I think you have to work the personality, humor end a bit more and then you are a real guy in person rather than a stat on paper.  An old boyfriend of mine was 5'7" (a little bigger than you build wise though) and he was super charming, interesting, handsome.  He showed his personality right away (met through work so real life meeting would probably easier for you than an app let's say where you might get filtered out for height).  He doesn't have trouble getting girls. 

^^ This and all the confidence comments. There's all kinds of women with all kinds of tastes, but IME "social fluency" tends to mean a LOT.

[ThatDude76]

Update ( If anyone gives a crap ) :

I have a date this weekend with a 5'2" beautiful woman ( well at least seems that way from the pictures ). I am very nervous cause I just don't understand what she would see in someone like myself,  she seems accomplished and professional, has a good job etc. and is well spoken.

I will try to have have some composure, hopefully she doesn't find my size too unattractive. 

[Trail Blazer]

8 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said:

Update ( If anyone gives a crap ) :

I have a date this weekend with a 5'2" beautiful woman ( well at least seems that way from the pictures ). I am very nervous cause I just don't understand what she would see in someone like myself,  she seems accomplished and professional, has a good job etc. and is well spoken.

I will try to have have some composure, hopefully she doesn't find my size too unattractive. 

Don't stress!  She's 5'2" so you're a perfect fit!

[alphamale]

11 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said:

Update ( If anyone gives a crap)

We do give a crap TD76, that’s why we are here.

[alphamale]

On 12/8/2020 at 10:08 AM, lurker74 said:

 

Edited December 18, 2020 by alphamale

[amygirl908]

25 minutes ago, ThatDude76 said:

Update ( If anyone gives a crap ) :

I have a date this weekend with a 5'2" beautiful woman ( well at least seems that way from the pictures ). I am very nervous cause I just don't understand what she would see in someone like myself,  she seems accomplished and professional, has a good job etc. and is well spoken.

I will try to have have some composure, hopefully she doesn't find my size too unattractive. 

You have to let the size thing go! It will only hold you back. I used to be really concerned about my appearance and how that affected my dating. Once I convinced myself that it didn't matter... it didn't matter and being secure with yourself and who you are is really going to help

[Versacehottie]

3 hours ago, ThatDude76 said:

Update ( If anyone gives a crap ) :

I have a date this weekend with a 5'2" beautiful woman ( well at least seems that way from the pictures ). I am very nervous cause I just don't understand what she would see in someone like myself,  she seems accomplished and professional, has a good job etc. and is well spoken.

I will try to have have some composure, hopefully she doesn't find my size too unattractive. 

If you don't erase the bolded mindset, before you go on the date, you will have a problem.  Trust that she genuinely wants to be there and that YOU have something good to offer.  If you can't get over the fact that YOU see your height or other things about you (perceived or real) as issues, you will transfer your insecurity to parts of the interactions.  You can't hide it that much.  If I knew the guy I was about to go on a date with was thinking this way, it would impact (poorly) my attraction to him. IF he was thinking this below before the date, it would be likely to go well:

I have a date this weekend with a 5'2" beautiful woman, perfect size for me.  She seems accomplished, professional, good job and well spoken---things we both have in common. I can't wait to learn more about her and show her what I'm about.  She already has the good taste, and good sense to not be someone who is overly concerned about height since mine was listed--so cool!  She must have responded to something I said on my profile or my good looks, I'm going to focus on those things and really get to know someone who is not hung up on the superficial, as I will always be 5'6" so this is a good start.  (yeah something along these lines would be a much better mindset!)

[Miss Spider]

4 hours ago, ThatDude76 said:

Update ( If anyone gives a crap ) :

I have a date this weekend with a 5'2" beautiful woman ( well at least seems that way from the pictures ). I am very nervous cause I just don't understand what she would see in someone like myself,  she seems accomplished and professional, has a good job etc. and is well spoken.

I will try to have have some composure, hopefully she doesn't find my size too unattractive. 

Try to have confidence in yourself 

[alphamale]

1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Try to have confidence in yourself 

Fake it until you make it...