EAM19 Posted December 8, 2020 Posted December 8, 2020 Basically, I got my heart broke by my first boyfriend a year and a half ago (if you look on my profile you can see it all). Since then, I have been to therapy twice, cried a lot, dated other guys had feelings for other guys and even cried over other boys. But I still think of my ex sometimes. Mostly in the past year it has been only sometimes and not eith many feelings attached, but recently thoughts of him and what happened have been in my mind daily, even to the point where I am crying over what happened the way I was treated. We have lots of the same friends, and so when i am home from University we end up having to see one another. I still have a lot of anxiety about being around him, hearing about him etc. I dont follow him on any social media (he did spend the past year stalking my profiles every day until i said to him it was weird), and I will admit that in summer I got very drunk and sick and ended up sleeping with him (NOTHING similar had ever happened before). I guess I just want to know if this is normal? He was my first love and I am yet to love again. I've not had much luck in the dating world, I seem to always end up hurt so I'm taking a break. Has anyone a bit older (I'm 20) ever been the same and can tell me if it eventually goes? I am okay I just sometimes find it hard when it intrudes on my throughts
FMW Posted December 8, 2020 Posted December 8, 2020 Yes, it's normal. He was your first love, you'll probably always think of him occasionally. What will change is that as you experience more relationships it will put things in perspective for you and you'll more fully move on. Reflecting on past relationships helps us to get to know our own selves better and prepares us for future relationships. It doesn't sound like your reflections are unhealthy or keeping you stuck, it sounds normal under the circumstances. Just stay open to new relationships and enjoy life with your friends and family. Things will unfold in their own time.
Wiseman2 Posted December 8, 2020 Posted December 8, 2020 It's a chapter in your book of life. Look back on it fondly. 1
Miss Spider Posted December 8, 2020 Posted December 8, 2020 (edited) It took me like 3 years until I completely forgot about my 1st bf. I broke up with him and he was a very manipulative and depressing person, but I still cared for many aspects of him. I always felt I made a huge mistake. Now when I reminisce I’m like wtf was I thinking. He is lame on so many levels, but I do wish the best for him and hope he lives a nice life. Lol. I think you will feel that way too in time: Hang in there. Edited December 8, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
Author EAM19 Posted December 9, 2020 Author Posted December 9, 2020 12 hours ago, FMW said: Yes, it's normal. He was your first love, you'll probably always think of him occasionally. What will change is that as you experience more relationships it will put things in perspective for you and you'll more fully move on. Reflecting on past relationships helps us to get to know our own selves better and prepares us for future relationships. It doesn't sound like your reflections are unhealthy or keeping you stuck, it sounds normal under the circumstances. Just stay open to new relationships and enjoy life with your friends and family. Things will unfold in their own time. Thank you! Needed this, I've been feeling a bit anxious recently about coming home for Christmas knoeing that there's a possibility I will have to see him. Whilst I'm away at uni there is 0 external mention of him so being home reminds me more of it which is why I think I've been thinking of it
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