Friendship could turn into something else? I'd like to not blow an opportunity

[thecube]

I've always been the one doing the chasing.. and looking back over the years, I can tell there were opportunities that I completely blew because I didn't make a move.

I am here because I'd like to be better at reading the signs in this situation.

Background: 

I have an attractive female coworker I have gotten along with well over the past year. We went out to lunch a few times before COVID-19 was a thing- (there was another time she was subtly inviting me to join her, but I didn't catch it.. when I saw her again she told me I should have joined her for lunch)

I was in a relationship at the time, but she seemed cool so it was strictly platonic for me. 

Fast forward a few months and we were working from home. We weren't interacting much for a bit. My other relationship ended. I came back to the office, some people in my dept had left, so we starting contacting each other regularly as a professional courtesy, since we were short staffed. Eventually the conversations from work carried over into phone calls on my ride home, and eventually the conversations stopped being all about work. She started sharing some personal details about herself, her goals, dreams, etc. She even started telling me a little about someone she was seeing- but she made it perfectly clear that they were not officially dating.

These conversations went on for a little over 2 months until I finally mentioned that my other relationship had ended. That day she found out she consoled me and asked if I'd be interested in meeting up with her for dinner sometime. I went, It went really well, we agreed to do it more often.

2-3 weeks or so passed, on a Friday she asked about my plans for the weekend, I just mentioned I had to help someone move and something to do for school. She mentioned that she was going to see her guy friend that night, Saturday she was going to do some stuff on her own, Sunday she was going to meet her guy friend again to go visit some place but she wasn't sure she wanted to go..

At this point I kinda thought maybe she was trying to see if I was interested in meeting up with her.. so I said what the hell.. I said I may have some free time Sunday if I get my school stuff done early. She offered to come to my area and hang out with me.. and so she did. She drove a little over an hour to come have dinner with me, drive around, etc. and she came back to my place where we chatted and played a game.

At this point, you probably have all noticed I haven't made a move on her.

Still talk a lot at work, last week she mentioned she wanted to meet up again, so we are meeting up again this weekend.  

Now- here is where I'm at: I got out of a relationship recently, so I am really in no rush to enter anything so suddenly. I am actually ok with taking it slow with people and exploring options... in fact.. I wouldn't even say I was deliberately trying to explore options here, this whole thing kinda landed on my lap.

As far as I can tell, she does see/like someone else, but there are things about me she really likes so she is trying to stay close and keep her options open.

This is where you guys come in

I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG

You see, I blew opportunities in the past. Heck, I may have even blown one with her recently. On our first recent hangout she mentioned something about being invited to a party by the father of some kids she babysits, he even asked her to bring her bf and he'd pay her for her time.  I dunno why she told me this at the time but looking back I think she may have been trying to invite me.. 

There were other times I hung out with women in the past that had initiated the date/meetup/whatever.. but I didn't make any moves cuz well... I guess I wasn't used to that (I always do the chasing) and I wasn't really sure what was happening.  

So to be clear, yes, I am attracted to this person. Yes, I am aware she sees someone else. I don't doubt she likes me, but I get the feeling she's either feeling me out, taking things slow, exploring her options, or this could all be completely platonic (although my hunch tell me it's really not). 

I'd be ok with taking it slow, but I do not want to miss any signs and/or blow an opportunity. 

What do I need to watch out for?

[Wiseman2]

You seem rather guarded, because of your recent breakup.

There's no point "reading the signs", if you are not ready to date.

You could be the male-girlfriend to hang out with until she secures things with guys she's dating.

It's up to you to decide if you are ready, willing or able to date and if you want to date her.

Reading "signs" isn't going to help you if you can't make up your mind. 

[FMW]

I don't know that there's anything in particular you need to watch out for, just try to get out of your head when you're with her.  Focus on her, on what she's saying, her body language.  I'm guessing you probably have a constant monologue going on in your head that's blocking your awareness of what she's communicating (including non-verbally).  

Pay attention to what's going on externally, pay attention to her.  The popular term for it is "being present".  

[thecube]

17 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You seem rather guarded, because of your recent breakup.

There's no point "reading the signs", if you are not ready to date.

You could be the male-girlfriend to hang out with until she secures things with guys she's dating.

It's up to you to decide if you are ready, willing or able to date and if you want to date her.

Reading "signs" isn't going to help you if you can't make up your mind. 

Regarding the bolded- this is most definitely not it. She stopped talking about other guy when she found out I was no longer tied down.

You're right though.. I have been guarded. 

I interacted with her quite a bit over the last 24 hours.. I made an effort to be more present like you 2 suggested.

FWIW the signs are ringing loud and clear now she really really really really likes me. Being more present helped me pick up on that.

Thanks.

[FMW]

That's great!

[Wiseman2]

Ask her out. What "signs" is she getting from you as far as interest?

You can lay back to this extent and be this passive, but if she's looking for a dating/relationship situation, she may get bored/frustrated doing all the work.

[thecube]

15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ask her out. What "signs" is she getting from you as far as interest?

You can lay back to this extent and be this passive, but if she's looking for a dating/relationship situation, she may get bored/frustrated doing all the work.

I actually did ask her out yesterday. I felt a really good vibe yesterday with how much we were communicating and our interactions at work (she did come to the office yesterday).

She was all giggly as soon as she came by my office and she stuttered and fumbled her words a lot.  Then before she left for the day she asked me to call like 3x.

I did ask her out to dinner and she said she'd love to but she had plans for the evening. But then we spoke on the phone for over an hour..

Anyway, we do have plans for this weekend. I plan to make the most of it.

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, thecube said:

we do have plans for this weekend. I plan to make the most of it.

Excellent enjoy.

[ShakeShake]

12 hours ago, thecube said:

Anyway, we do have plans for this weekend. I plan to make the most of it.

Make sure you make it clear it's a romantic date, not just to 'hang out'.