Author Lilia1099 Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 Just now, Wiseman2 said: So what's the plan? Why can't you arrange dinner, movies, at his/your place, whatever without the hookup? Who's forcing you to have sex? Either you want hookups...or you don't. It's that simple. Because no where is open due to covid in my country. we have no restaurants, bars, movie theatres, anywhere of the sort open sadly. we wanted to do this, and have for weeks, but life is really hard here right now.
Wiseman2 Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 4 minutes ago, Lilia1099 said: Because no where is open due to covid in my country. Very vague confusing reply. No wonder he is losing interest. Never a straight answer. 1
Author Lilia1099 Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 52 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Very vague confusing reply. No wonder he is losing interest. Never a straight answer. How can we set up a date in TOTAL lockdown, do tell me? Odd and rude response, you do not know me. We’ve done walks in the park, thanks. 1
Author Lilia1099 Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: So what's the plan? Why can't you arrange dinner, movies, at his/your place, whatever without the hookup? Who's forcing you to have sex? Either you want hookups...or you don't. It's that simple. We have had dinner at our place, the second time. Which we will be doing again as that is all we can do right now.
Wiseman2 Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 1 minute ago, Lilia1099 said: We have had dinner at our place, the second time. Which we will be doing again as that is all we can do right now. Ok, covid is worldwide, so it is what it is. Can you make it more romantic/date like than before? Do you want it to carry over into sex? That's all up to you, not covid. What is "our house"? Do you live with parents?
Author Lilia1099 Posted December 11, 2020 Author Posted December 11, 2020 11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok, covid is worldwide, so it is what it is. Can you make it more romantic/date like than before? Do you want it to carry over into sex? That's all up to you, not covid. What is "our house"? Do you live with parents? I meant our individual places, that my typo. We have both been to each other’s homes, neither live with parents. I guess we could. It is difficult as dating for me personally is experiencing new things together I.e going out to new restaurants etc. I feel like we would become ‘used’ to just having dinner/drinks together at home and hooking up. Which ultimately, is not just what I want from this now.
Wiseman2 Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 45 minutes ago, Lilia1099 said: I feel like we would become ‘used’ to just having dinner/drinks together at home and hooking up. Which ultimately, is not just what I want from this now. Ok, so what are the choices? Most places are affected by covid, so no restaurants,etc. What type of date do you want, considering? Do you plan to meet up at all? Has he come up with a plan/date? Can you simply say no to getting together for now?
poppyfields Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: Can you explain how from the perspective of the other person(so affects their actions) these would seem different? I would ignore /put off answering texts because answering gave me anxiety vs “playing games”? The action (purposefully ignoring a text) and at initial motivation (op said she’s scared)is the same. The purpose is different, but unless you told the person exactly why you were ignoring it, it would just be a guess. My experience is that most people don’t put nearly as much thought into why a text is a little late as we think they do...People that come to LS tend to be a little more introspective/analytical than average. Interesting! I recall having been accused of "game playing" by several men when that was NOT my intention at all - I was simply anxious or uncertain about the situation and not sure what to do, that's the truth. And at least with one man, I was very into him!! Of course they themselves were game players, so from their perspective, the natural assumption was that I was. It's never black and white is it? So many variances and nuances. I think the difference is the person's intention. Are they intentionally waiting hours/days to respond to play it cool and hard to get? Did they intentionally upload flowers to their social for the purpose of eliciting jealousy etc.? Unfortunately it's difficult if not impossible to know someone's intention but some people will immediately jump to game playing (if they are game players themselves or distrustful, insecure) OR not give it that much thought, and carry on especially in very early stages. Edited December 11, 2020 by poppyfields
poppyfields Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Lilia1099 said: I feel like we would become ‘used’ to just having dinner/drinks together at home and hooking up. Which ultimately, is not just what I want from this now. Then don't!! Go for drinks and dinner at his and if/when he starts pushing for the hook up, just say no. An at-home dinner date doesn't have to mean hook up, where did you that get it did? Covid is causing a lot of restrictions, you make do with what you've got until it ends. You can go for walks, have a picnic. Dinner at his with wine, candles, rent a cool flick, NO sex. At least for now. Explain why. If he's a good genuine guy, not a player seeking "hook ups' he will respect your "no" and plan other things, covid or no covid. THAT is what interested men do. Men interested in you, not a hook up or the chase. What is your sense about this guy? Your gut feeling? You think he only wants hook ups? What makes you think he is playing games too? 1 1
Miss Spider Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 I agree with poppy and wisemen. If he’s not putting any effort in, even during COVID-19, he’s not that interested. Home dates are fine if you’re just looking for a hookup. 1
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