Is there any point in going on a second date with him?

[emerald86]

Met a guy on OLD recently and we video chatted twice before meeting in person for a lunch date. During the first two video chats, I liked his personality but was pretty convinced that I didn't really like him. I just wanted to meet him in person once just to be sure, so that's what I did. 

There was so much I admired about him. He's a good-looking guy and very charming, patient, polite, kind to everyone he meets. People just seem to be drawn to him. He treated me very well, and made his intentions clear about what he was looking for. I admired his honesty, and also his passion for his work, hobbies, etc. He was also goofy and made silly jokes all the time, which I enjoyed.  

I had a pleasant time, but after the first hour or so, I was ready to leave and get back to the rest of my day. After the date ended, I didn't feel anything special and didn't really have a strong desire to see him again. It was like meeting a friend I hadn't seen in years---nice and pleasant, but that's about it.

I really want to feel more strongly about this guy, because he has so many amazing qualities. I just wish I felt more excitement and chemistry. Is there any chance of meeting again to see if anything might develop, or will I just be wasting both of our times? 

[ShyViolet]

You knew you didn't like him on the video chat, and then once you met him in person you still didn't feel any attraction to him.  That pretty much says it all.  You are not going to magically be attracted to him if you go on a second date with him.  It would be a complete waste of time to go on any more dates with someone you know you are not into.

[d0nnivain]

1 hour ago, emerald86 said:

Is there any chance of meeting again to see if anything might develop, or will I just be wasting both of our times? 

That depends on you.  If you are like me, the spark needs to be there from the outset, no there is no point in meeting again.  If you are somebody for whom love grows over time maybe.  

[Miss Spider]

Going on a second date when I felt like this has never worked for me. Wouldn’t waste your time. 

Edited December 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Ami1uwant]

You met him. There were qualities in the face to face.

 

evrn before OLD sometimes it takes a few dates for feelings to develop.

[Wiseman2]

Has he asked you out again?

See what happens. 

[smackie9]

Stop and ask yourself:

Are you the type of person that needs instant chemistry? Or are you someone that needs time to warm up to someone?

It seems a lot of us here are the instant type....and that is a big part of our personality. There is no changing it. Just because someone is great on paper, you also need attraction, or you would just be settling. When you settle, you end up meeting someone that sweeps you off your feet and you are stuck, feeling trapped and unhappy. We've had so many come here with this problem. It's difficult when they know they are going to break someones heart.

So be true to yourself. Make sure it's not a need for this person, but a want/desire to be with them.

[Fletch Lives]

In most cases, you realize you are attracted to someone or not within the first hour-and-a-half (and often in the first few minutes).

Obviously you like him as a friend, and this will likely not change.

Don't date a guy and spend his money and get him all hot because you approve of him and don't have another prospect on the horizon. 

Approval is cute, but you need real attraction to kick off a worthwhile romantic relationship.