Author mishz Posted December 10, 2020 Author Posted December 10, 2020 (edited) 55 minutes ago, ThereSheGoes said: Honestly, it just sounded like she saw something about you during the trip that made her pause, she thought about it for a few days, and just decided to move on. Was that the longest amount of time you guys had spent together up until that point? Don't take it personal (even though it FEELS super personal right now) some people just aren't the right fit for us. It's not your fault. You'll find someone who wants you just as much as you want them. I really don't think that was it. It wasn't 'the trip', it must've been generally that she just wasn't that into me. Yes it was the longest time we spent together. She was obviously into me enough to sleep with me, have sex, stay over my place, make time for me, text me throughout the day every single day etc. I don't think I did anything on the trip that was notably wrong, and IF I did, then clearly she broke up over something small. I'm still shocked how she just cut things off like that with me. Maybe she misjudged me somehow and saw me as clingy? I'm not sure, but she surely didn't communicate with me or try to discuss things and keep it together. My point is, she didn't feel the same about me as I did to her in the end, otherwise she wouldn't have left me. She even told me to "find someone else who can go at my pace". The last thing you say to someone you want to be in a relationship with is to find someone else. And I couldn't understand her 'pace' comment, it was just an excuse, because I was always understanding if she was busy. As previously mentioned, she moved into a new dorm (where both guys and girls are), and she's an attractive female. IF it wasn't an ex that came back and if she didn't have already another guy she met at the dorm or elsewhere, being an attractive female, she knows she has options and can easily replace me. So, leaving me was easy I guess, it doesn't carry the same weight as it does for me, because as a guy I have to really work to find a girl, it's pretty competitive out there. I'm still hurting badly like you wouldn't believe, and it's been a month already. Edited December 10, 2020 by mishz
Miss Spider Posted December 10, 2020 Posted December 10, 2020 I agree with you. That’s what I believe too. I broke up with one of my exes right after a trip that we took together. I had known for a long time I wasn’t that into him, but being forced into a situation where I had to spend 24/7 just made me reach the end of my rope and gave me the courage to end it. I’m sorry. 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 12 hours ago, mishz said: She even told me to "find someone else who can go at my pace". Was it too much too soon for her?
Emilie Jolie Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 13 hours ago, mishz said: And I couldn't understand her 'pace' comment, it was just an excuse, because I was always understanding if she was busy. It's really not an excuse. Sounds like a communication problem, to be honest. She obviously cared; she freaked out and bolted because she didn't know how to tell you to slow down, which is 100% fair enough. Don't take it personally . Good lesson for next time - people have different communication styles, there's a bit of a trial and error period until you find your own rythme . I know people normally say not to reach out and keep a no contact or whatever it's called, but if you feel there's unfinished business, why not put your ego to one side, take a deep breath and see if she's responsive? Address the communication thing and say something about not meaning to go too fast? If not, lesson learned for next time!
elaine567 Posted December 11, 2020 Posted December 11, 2020 15 hours ago, mishz said: She was obviously into me enough to sleep with me, have sex, stay over my place, make time for me, text me throughout the day every single day etc. You seem to be making a big deal out of the fact she slept with you, but women can sleep with men they are iffy about, are meh about, or who they frankly can't stand any more. Sounds like you set up a cosy "coupley" type routine which suited you, but it did not suit her. I guess with the new dorm she was then meeting different people, with different ideas and more exciting lives... 3
Author mishz Posted December 12, 2020 Author Posted December 12, 2020 (edited) On 12/11/2020 at 8:26 AM, elaine567 said: You seem to be making a big deal out of the fact she slept with you, but women can sleep with men they are iffy about, are meh about, or who they frankly can't stand any more. Sounds like you set up a cosy "coupley" type routine which suited you, but it did not suit her. I guess with the new dorm she was then meeting different people, with different ideas and more exciting lives... Um, she didn't just sleep with me. She'd sleep days over my place, text each throughout the day (I never double texted, she texted as much as I did), have deep conversations. It was more than just sex. And I didn't 'set up a cosy coupley type routine'. Her talking to me, seeing me, was mutual while it lasted, I don't think I rushed things. When she was busy, it was fine, I understood. It's 'coupley' to be nice to her and do cool things together? And, we in fact were a couple, should I have just treated her like garbage? Your words are rather silly. And she can certainly meet new/different people, that's fine, but your suggestion of me not having an 'exciting' life and these dorm people having one, is an interesting assumption from your part, as you don't know much about me. Edited December 12, 2020 by mishz
smackie9 Posted December 12, 2020 Posted December 12, 2020 She just decided that this relationship is not what she wants anymore. She's moved forward to do what she wants. You don't have to have a bad, uneven, out of balance relationship for it to end. Too fast, too slow? That didn't apply here. The relationship ran it's course, she lost interest and you didn't. It happens. It's normal. It's best to stop picking at the scab and let it heal. 1
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