Author Alvi Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 9 hours ago, Versacehottie said: It's like an inferiority complex where they look to obtain the girls that likes tall guys to beef up their own ego through external validation. Therefore the girl who likes him at his shorter height is like a "lesser" catch, because in his mind she has lesser standards. But obviously it's an internal problem of his own self worth, but one which he takes out on girls who appreciate him as he is. Oh, that makes sense. Well, sort of. It is probably a never ending cycle of misery for the guys with the low self esteem and superiority complex. Good part is that I know quite a few short guys who are happily married. Some to taller women, some to shorter women. Did those happily married guys settled for the shorter women? Don't think they see it that way. So men's height is obviously not an issue for some/most women.
Author Alvi Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 (edited) 12 hours ago, basil67 said: You seem to be confusing age with knowledge and introspection. Some people have great social skills young and others struggle to learn them for their whole lives. You make it sound like he's deliberately self sabotaging, but reality is that he's probably not aware of how he is perceived. A person who struggles with social skills may well need feedback at 51. It doesn't mean you need to date him, but a bit of compassion and thoughtful feedback (if requested) ...as well as not making assumptions about what's going on with him never goes astray. Edited December 4, 2020 by Alvi
Author Alvi Posted December 4, 2020 Author Posted December 4, 2020 Just now, Alvi said: I read your words and decided to shoot him a nice text saying that I really enjoyed getting to know him first. I told him nicely that he should focus more on the positives and that his negative attitude probably what drives women away. And you know what? He replied saying that he made lots of mistakes in the past and will continue to make more mistakes in the future. And told me not to think for one second that I am perfect myself. So, basically my good intentions to try to help him blew up in my face. Rather than react positively for the criticism, he chose to get all defensive. But hey, can't blame him, not many appreciate being told what exactly is wrong with you. Me saying that I liked him initially got totally ignored just as expected. I blocked him, last thing I need in my life is more misery and negativity. There is something wrong with this guy, I am sure of it, but I am not going to diagnose him. Covid probably didn't help him with the things either. I am pretty sure he wants a loving long term relationship in his life, just how he goes around it probably repels women. It is up to him to seek some qualified help, if he chooses so. Thanks everybody for your views on this subject. It was a real eye-opener.
Fletch Lives Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 Alvi, you have a great attitude. That's really important. You just need to find someone like you. If you want a great partner, they have to have a good attitude. 3
basil67 Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 Alvi, it sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Of the two of you, you will most certainly be the one who has a more successful life. Good luck to you
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 On 12/3/2020 at 12:46 PM, Alvi said: I've been talking to this guy on-line. Somehow he mentioned sending tons of messages to women with no result. Meeting tons of women who don't want a second date with him. I haven't asked any of this, he volunteered this information himself. I told him, hey, I like you, why can't you focus on the one's that like you instead? He went on a longer rant about getting scammed by some woman on the internet and trying to kill himself because of that. lol. Why do people shoot themselves in the foot that way? Strangely enough I liked him, well, before reading all his rants. Not anymore, of course, but I wouldn't have minded meeting him in person. Dating is mostly about rejection but if you find one person who likes you, why complain about thousands others who rejected you before? Why not try to hold into that one person who actually might like you? A lot of men don’t want women who are in their same league. They have this idea of being accepted for who they are, while requiring the woman to be Barbie.
Miss Spider Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 Because you have to like the person back....
hokage240sx Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 If he's offering up that type of unattractive information to you, he may not be worried about turning you off. Either that or he's not very socially smart. It makes sense that you aren't interested in him. He will either have to reflect and figure out what actions he is doing wrong to create that result. Or someone will have to bring it up to him. If he's smart he will correct his ways. But if he's got emotional issues, he may not be a able to. Online dating is tough, you never know what your gonna get.
Chilli Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 Seems to be a real pattern and habit especially with the single guys, in forums anyway. l use to be always telling wtf , why are you coming into a public forum and shooting yourself in the foot all over the damn place. Anyway op , l'd def' keep walking past this one he not only doesn't sound too bright but a bit out of he;s tree too tbh. l mean talking like that just bc he got scammed , just wth .
Author Alvi Posted December 7, 2020 Author Posted December 7, 2020 Strangely enough, another guy messaged me this morning. This is the intro he sent me: "I've been on this site with really no success, i have talked to a few, but met even less. I just can't seem to find a woman who likes me for me, if I could've, i would've been off this site a long time ago. I dont think I am asking for too much, just someone, kind caring, works hard has a good heart. If you're willing to give me a chance, I would love to get to know you." What a wrong way to approach someone. Not a word about his likes, hobbies, desires. Not a single question asking about me. He is not a bad looking guy if you see his photos and has a good job if you trust his profile. But I have zero desire to reply to him. I am not sure if we ever end up on a date he would be able focus on me and solely on me, and not talk about his past failures with the women. 1
Miss Spider Posted December 7, 2020 Posted December 7, 2020 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Alvi said: Strangely enough, another guy messaged me this morning. This is the intro he sent me: "I've been on this site with really no success, i have talked to a few, but met even less. I just can't seem to find a woman who likes me for me, if I could've, i would've been off this site a long time ago. I dont think I am asking for too much, just someone, kind caring, works hard has a good heart. If you're willing to give me a chance, I would love to get to know you." What a wrong way to approach someone. Not a word about his likes, hobbies, desires. Not a single question asking about me. He is not a bad looking guy if you see his photos and has a good job if you trust his profile. But I have zero desire to reply to him. I am not sure if we ever end up on a date he would be able focus on me and solely on me, and not talk about his past failures with the women. Haha isn’t that every woman’s dream? To end up with the guy that failed with all other women? I rolled my eyes so hard at that they almost got stuck.” Since I’m desperate, want to give it a shot?” He can get out of here with that. Edited December 7, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1
SumGuy Posted December 7, 2020 Posted December 7, 2020 3 minutes ago, Alvi said: Strangely enough, another guy messaged me this morning. This is the intro he sent me: "I've been on this site with really no success, i have talked to a few, but met even less. I just can't seem to find a woman who likes me for me, if I could've, i would've been off this site a long time ago. I dont think I am asking for too much, just someone, kind caring, works hard has a good heart. If you're willing to give me a chance, I would love to get to know you." Is it something in the water where you live? There are better ways to open with an "I'm broken; please fix me" line. Wonder if he is projecting, that when he sees a profile of a woman on for a long time he thinks there must be something wrong with her and this is his way of preempting that. Quote What a wrong way to approach someone. Not a word about his likes, hobbies, desires. Not a single question asking about me. He is not a bad looking guy if you see his photos and has a good job if you trust his profile. But I have zero desire to reply to him. I am not sure if we ever end up on a date he would be able focus on me and solely on me, and not talk about his past failures with the women. His hobby is whining, his desire is to be taken care of, he is asking you if you will take care of him. Seems like he hit all those bases to me. 2
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