eskimo828 Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 I’m a single female in my 20s and have been texting a guy I know through friends, and have met in person, for a while. We didn’t know each other particularly well but I replied to one of his stories about a month ago and we have texted every day since. He seemed really lovely, sending long texts and genuinely showing interest in me too by asking me questions etc. We really made each other laugh, he was always interested in my day and after a few weeks he offered to FaceTime one Saturday night over some snacks and a couple drinks. Naturally, things eventually got pretty flirty and cheeky. We had also decided to meet one time for a walk (his idea) but he cancelled last minute and was apologetic. The texts also toned down a fair bit and were less exciting. I worried he wasn’t as keen. He didn’t initiate any other plans for a while but then we met on the weekend. We ended up at his place and ended up sleeping together which was super fun and we spent the whole evening and night together. We were also chatting about all sorts, he was telling me all these stories, asking me things, we were playing card games, listening to music, etc etc. At some points we were really laughing and having fun together. We had quite a few drinks. It was so nice. In the morning, he was in a lot of pain as he had hurt his back the day before and it had gotten worse, so was a bit off. He reassured me it was nothing to do with me. He texted me as soon as I left the next morning telling me to get home safe and he will message me when he feels a bit better. He didn’t text me all day and so I shot him a quick message at the end of the day telling him I actually had a really fun time. He replied the following morning saying “I had a great time too! Hope you have a good day” I don’t know if I’m paranoid but it seemed really off for him. We would normally text multiple times a day and he’d usually text again if I hadn’t texted back (not in an annoying way). I didn’t reply to this until that evening, and I said thanks and I hoped he had a good day and his back was better. He took ages to reply but eventually sent a really basic “got painkillers” text. I replied and he didn’t. Since then ive sent him two texts which he took almost 24h to reply to. So in the space of like 4 days we’ve probably sent like 3 texts each. He’s been posting an awful lot too. Am I being paranoid? I would expect him to be texting me much more as he usually would.. however I am thinking I haven’t exactly texted him much either and maybe I should’ve? Because in fairness he did instantly text me after, and he did say he had a great time too. I have no idea what’s going on.. What do I do? TIA x
Happy Lemming Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) As someone who has thrown my back out multiple times. I can tell you that if I sleep the wrong way (after throwing it out) I will wake up in horrific pain when I first start to move. For me the severity of the pain can vary widely. I can't speak for this gentleman, though. Personally, I refuse to take pain killers, as they make me quite groggy and very sleepy. It is possible his pain medication zonked him out. What do you mean "he has been posting a lot" on social media?? Can you clarify?? Edited December 3, 2020 by Happy Lemming spelling 1
Author eskimo828 Posted December 3, 2020 Author Posted December 3, 2020 Just as in he’s posted a fair few stories, statuses and shared some things
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 He didn’t have to put in much time and effort before you became intimate with him, and he’s lost interest. He’s slow fading, hoping you will get the hint. Ugh, the slow fade is worse than being ghosted. 2
Wiseman2 Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 Sorry to hear that. Pull back and see what happens. Some guys set the table for a hookup with a flurry of texts, flirting, attention and faux intimacy. After the hookup they move on.
Happy Lemming Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 So if he is posting on social media with stories, etc.; I can make the assumption that he is NOT zonked out by the pain meds. I'm not making excuses for him, but some guys just don't communicate a lot between dates. If I take someone out on a Saturday, I'll call them on Wednesday or Thursday and try to schedule the next date. Now If the woman contacts me, I will always return any communication within 24 hours. If she calls me before I've done my date planning, I will tell her I'm working on the next date and ask for input. You know that device in your hand also makes phone calls, why not call him and talk?? Let him hear your voice. Tell him you are looking forward to seeing him again after his back is better.
Author eskimo828 Posted December 3, 2020 Author Posted December 3, 2020 I do just worry that maybe he thinks I’m not interested so has pulled back? Cos he did text instantly saying get home safe, and he did say “I had a great time too, have a good day” and I didn’t reply to that for most of the day. I sort of wanted him to do the chasing and he didn’t. Also he has told me before that he likes girls who are upfront and know what they want... maybe I should just ask him out? But I don’t wanna seem too keen?
Happy Lemming Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 2 minutes ago, eskimo828 said: maybe I should just ask him out? Sounds like a plan... Call him and discuss some date ideas (that are Covid-19 safe)?? Gauge his response, listen to his voice... you can tell if someone is enthusiastic about seeing you again from the tone of their voice.
Aus Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 NOOOOOOO..... do NOT ask him out please. as GeorgiaPeach said, he got what he wanted and is doing the slow fade. Please let him come to you and do the chasing, men might say that they are into "go getter" type gals, but something ingrained in their caveman DNA gets turned off by that. please be a go getter in all other areas of your life, career, studies, exercise, but when it comes to your dating life, all you have to do is be open, friendly and reciprocal. 2 1
ExpatInItaly Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 21 hours ago, eskimo828 said: I do just worry that maybe he thinks I’m not interested so has pulled back? Cos he did text instantly saying get home safe, and he did say “I had a great time too, have a good day” and I didn’t reply to that for most of the day. There really wasn't much to respond to in his last message, so it's not that he thinks you aren't interested. He doesn't sound that interested, though. I think I would leave it be. He's signaling that got other things occupying his time right now.
Miss Spider Posted December 4, 2020 Posted December 4, 2020 Dang, you took ‘blow his back out’ seriously, huh? I am inclined to agree that he has kind of lost interest. Doesn’t really seem like a good sign when someone drops off contact significantly after date. JMO
Wiseman2 Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 Sorry to say, but his lame text indicates very low interest and unfortunately this seems like a hit-it-and-quit-it situation. If you would like to build a relationship, next time take it slowly and get to know each other first.
trident_2020 Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 You had sex with him on the first date. In his mind you give it up to easily, you did it with him, the natural and probably correct assumption is that you did it with countless other guys, and therefore you are not relationship material. 1
Fletch Lives Posted December 5, 2020 Posted December 5, 2020 Is he sick with a bad back, or just trying to disappear? I guess time will tell, let's see if you have another date.
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