Cheated on girlfriend and told her, she says to keep in touch and responds but is very short

[Tank20]

Hey guys, so I cheated on my girlfriend of 3 years over the summer. I had a threesome with one of my guy friends and some random girl. I couldnt hold it in any longer and told her. She was very upset and we broke up. She said she believed people can change and that she wouldn't get back with me right away, but maybe in the future. It has been three weeks and we have texted a couple times and I left her a bottle of wine (because she posted on instagram she wanted one) just a day ago. But she is very vague and said she doesnt know when she wants to make a decision about possibly getting back together. This is driving me insane, because I feel like I might just be wasting my time. At what point do I move on? 

[trident_2020]

Now's a good time.

Try not to cheat on the next one, she will probably have feelings too.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

You killed the relationship, man. 

The chance that this will work out and you two will up happily back together are probably next to zero. Remember that whatever discomfort you're currently feeling pales in comparison to what she is feeling. Do you genuinely not realize that? 

Maybe you need to experience this anguish and uncertainty a bit so you don't behave so destructively with your next girlfriend. 

[schlumpy]

Move on. You are not in love with her.

[Wiseman2]

17 hours ago, Tank20 said:

Hey guys, so I cheated on my girlfriend of 3 years over the summer. I had a threesome with one of my guy friends and some random girl. I couldnt hold it in any longer and told her. She was very upset and we broke up. 

She's going to reflect and discuss this with her people, maybe go to her doctor for STD testing. It would be best to leave her alone. It  doesn't sound like your cut out for one-on-one committed relationships at this time. 

[d0nnivain]

You move on when you are ready.  She knows where you are if she wants to get back in touch.  

[Hpchic]

Should’ve thought about how insane this breakup may drive you before you went and had your threesome.

Three weeks is not long at all, she’s going to need a long time to get over this.  She’s also going to need to see a change in you, and that’s not going to happen in 3 weeks time.

[Blind-Sided]

You cheated.... PERIOD. You need to evaluate your own morals.  I'm not talking about the 3 way... but cheating on someone you say you love.   3 weeks is not enough time to heal from the betrayal she is feeling.  Leave her alone for 6 months.  Or better yet... just move on, and understand that if you actually love someone... that means holding their feelings over any of your own. 

[kendahke]

On 12/1/2020 at 9:02 PM, Tank20 said:

At what point do I move on? 

now.

"Make good choices"

If she was the one who set this bomb off in your lap, how much of a "scorched earth" policy would it take to assuage your anger?

This is over... you sliced off a limb. This isn't a paper cut. She's not obligated to sit with you while you work out how badly you feel about what you did to her. The option was to tell you boy "no" when he came to you with the bright idea. He was the one who thought this up, right?

Edited December 4, 2020 by kendahke