Is sex all he is after?

[roseears]

4 hours ago, Ami1uwant said:

There is not an issue asking even before meeting if you want to get married or have kids.  These are foundational core questions to assessing if this person is even worth dating ifyou don’t agree on these things

I’m sorry but he was making sexual innuendos before we meet about having sex with me.

Would it be normal for me to do marriage and kids innuendos before meeting up with a guy about me marrying him and having his kids? I don’t think so.

[Ami1uwant]

9 hours ago, roseears said:

I’m sorry but he was making sexual innuendos before we meet about having sex with me.

Would it be normal for me to do marriage and kids innuendos before meeting up with a guy about me marrying him and having his kids? I don’t think so.

 

9 hours ago, roseears said:

I’m sorry but he was making sexual innuendos before we meet about having sex with me.

Would it be normal for me to do marriage and kids innuendos before meeting up with a guy about me marrying him and having his kids? I don’t think so.

 

im not talking about inneundos

 

two simple questions

 

do you want to get married?

do you want to have kids..if so how many?

when you get into your 30s you can run into people at different stages of life.

 

Say someone is  35 has kids in their early 20s, now they are tens and they don’t want kids again because they are looking forward to them  going off to college.  If they got burned in marriage they might feel never again. There are people who were career focused and now in mid 30s they want marriage and kids.

[stillafool]

On 11/30/2020 at 4:35 PM, roseears said:

 

Well, when we started talking online he said he was looking for something meaningful and more serious, that he used to have casual things and was fed up of it so he has been alone for many months until he finds the right person.

If that was serious or BS I don't know. But that's what he told me. So that is why now I am confused.

He probably is looking for the right person to settle down with; most people are.  But, it doesn't mean he considered you to be that person.  In the meantime, a man still needs sex.

[roseears]

18 hours ago, stillafool said:

He probably is looking for the right person to settle down with; most people are.  But, it doesn't mean he considered you to be that person.  In the meantime, a man still needs sex.

Ouch, that hurts

[roseears]

18 hours ago, Ami1uwant said:

 

 

im not talking about inneundos

 

two simple questions

 

do you want to get married?

do you want to have kids..if so how many?

when you get into your 30s you can run into people at different stages of life.

 

Say someone is  35 has kids in their early 20s, now they are tens and they don’t want kids again because they are looking forward to them  going off to college.  If they got burned in marriage they might feel never again. There are people who were career focused and now in mid 30s they want marriage and kids.

I get that, but you didn’t get my point.

One thing is ask do you plan to get married and have kids one day? Another thing is do you want to get married and have kids with me?

His sex innuendos was a way of saying/asking if I was going to have sex with him, similar to asking/making innuendos if he is going to marry me and have kids with me. Both are too much too soon.

[roseears]

Hi guys, just an update on this. I continued talking to him and trying to talk about other things, and every time he would either deflect the conversation to something sexual or would just simply do not respond.

He would also always be very busy (with work, kids, etc) to talk about other things (would take hours to respond to a good morning text), but always available to talk about sex stuff.

So today I told him finally that it seems he is always only available to engage in sex talk but as soon as I try to talk about other stuff, he is busy or non-responsive. He said "ok if that's what you think", and then I told him that I just want to get to know him more at other levels too, but it's ok if he doesn't want to. His response? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

So I guess I am glad I was honest and direct and I think I dodged a bullet here. Last thing I wanted was to end up possibly having sex with someone who would be so closed off to anything else. 

[elaine567]

2 hours ago, roseears said:

I continued talking to him and trying to talk about other things, and every time he would either deflect the conversation to something sexual or would just simply do not respond.

He would also always be very busy (with work, kids, etc) to talk about other things (would take hours to respond to a good morning text), but always available to talk about sex stuff.

Why did you even feel you needed to have "the talk" with him?
It was blatantly obvious he did not see you as more than casual at best, a F^ck Buddy at worst.
Guys who are "serious" tend to want to get to know you, they don't speak exclusively about sex or cut you off or are suddenly "too busy" when you bring up some other subject.
He was only looking for titillation and sex, he was not interested in anything else.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, roseears said:

I told him finally that it seems he is always only available to engage in sex talk but as soon as I try to talk about other stuff, he is busy or non-responsive. He said "ok if that's what you think", and then I told him that I just want to get to know him more at other levels too, but it's ok if he doesn't want to. His response? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

That response, You really dodged a bullet. What a bozo.

[roseears]

11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That response, You really dodged a bullet. What a bozo.

Exactly! It would have been as simple as responding something like "no, I want to talk about other stuff too", or whatever. But that response and then saying nothing more just showed me I am fine letting him go.

[Miss Spider]

On 12/10/2020 at 11:47 AM, roseears said:

Exactly! It would have been as simple as responding something like "no, I want to talk about other stuff too", or whatever. But that response and then saying nothing more just showed me I am fine letting him go.

I am glad that you finally realized that this scrote is not the right person for you, but a little concerned that he basically had to drop every little bit of pretense at all  for it to sink in. I think you would waste a lot less time if you would learn to read between the lines a little bit. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes