Wiseman2 Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 One good thing about this is it's a very efficient way to get rid of someone. It seems like you have a good acid test to rule a lot of people out. The only problem is you don't know if he nexted you because of his politics or the outrageousness of the question. 1
Author Savannah1990 Posted December 3, 2020 Author Posted December 3, 2020 Hi everyone, I wanted to give you an update. He actually responded yesterday. Started first of with an excuse that he didn’t replie for that long, but that he was consumed with his mother having covid, she almost had to go the hospital but seems to be recovering now. so he didn’t really feel like spending time on datingapps. Anyway, he responded that he voted Dem as well and then explained why etc. We’ve picked up the conversation where we left it, so it feels nice to continue talking to him. I did find your answers insightful. Mayb I should consider being less direct and outspoken about politics in dating. But for me, chances of forming a good match with someone who voted Trump, are very small. So I like to know that pretty soon, rather than investing a lot of time in something and than finding it out. 2
Starswillshine Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 26 minutes ago, Savannah1990 said: Hi everyone, I wanted to give you an update. He actually responded yesterday. Started first of with an excuse that he didn’t replie for that long, but that he was consumed with his mother having covid, she almost had to go the hospital but seems to be recovering now. so he didn’t really feel like spending time on datingapps. Anyway, he responded that he voted Dem as well and then explained why etc. We’ve picked up the conversation where we left it, so it feels nice to continue talking to him. I did find your answers insightful. Mayb I should consider being less direct and outspoken about politics in dating. But for me, chances of forming a good match with someone who voted Trump, are very small. So I like to know that pretty soon, rather than investing a lot of time in something and than finding it out. Firstly, I think if you feel extremely strongly about your political leanings and are extremely passionate about them, you are probably completely right. I would offer some advice though. I was a very hard core democrat, but one of the things that turned me away from the new democrats is the blanket judgement given to people who voted opposite. Much like I ran away from conservatives who would ask the question, "If you are not Christian, how can you have morals?" Um quite easily. But anyway.... Though I am very passionate about politics and my beliefs, I would not/could not be with someone who judges someone based solely on how they voted (either deomcrat or republican because I Know people on both sides). Which is why that question would have been a moment of "RUN"! 1
Wiseman2 Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Savannah1990 said: We’ve picked up the conversation where we left it, so it feels nice to continue talking to him. Are you going to date?
Angelle Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 On 11/29/2020 at 2:01 PM, ShyViolet said: I don't think it's wildly inappropriate to ask this question. Lots of people will proudly tell you who they voted for. I'm guessing maybe he didn't want to tell you because since you made your political affiliations public, he knows that his are different from yours and he didn't want to get into it. But for a lot of democrats, being a Trump supporter is a deal breaker. If I was on a date with a person and they mentioned that they are a Trump supporter, I would walk the hell out. So if that's important to you, then you might as well find out sooner rather than later. I would not have asked who they voted for. I would just learn their values and political leanings more organically as issues come up. Same here. I don't think it's outrageous at all - especially this year. 1
stillafool Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Savannah1990 said: But for me, chances of forming a good match with someone who voted Trump, are very small. So I like to know that pretty soon, rather than investing a lot of time in something and than finding it out. I understand your point. Maybe it would be best to ask this question before the date so you won't waste your time or theirs.
poppyfields Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, Starswillshine said: Nah, im not compatible with people who judge based on someone's political affiliations. Maybe I would be jumping to conclusions as to why they were asking. In that case, it would be best to inquire why asking. I could see someone asking out of curiosity, not to judge. And to elicit an interesting conversation even if/when different from how they themselves voted. Perhaps I'm being naive in thinking two people can have a spirited but rational conversation even when beliefs are opposing? My dad was a huge Democrat, 100% on all issues; at the time I was Independent but leaned toward the right. And we had some awesome and very spirited conversations! I'd never ask until we became more of a couple, but if I were asked, I would not jump to they were judging nor would I judge. Re comparability, I don't consider political or religious differences incompatability. Nothing wrong with thinking or feeling differently about certain issues. Incompatibility for me would be if he did not respect our differences, judged them and made it ugly. That would be an immediate next for me, not that his beliefs were different from mine. JMO but the world would be a much better place if we embraced our differences versus fighting about them and ending relationships because of them. Perhaps I'm being naive when hoping for that. $.02 Edited December 3, 2020 by poppyfields 2
Starswillshine Posted December 3, 2020 Posted December 3, 2020 11 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I could see someone asking out of curiosity, not to judge. And to elicit an interesting conversation even if/when different from how they themselves voted. Perhaps I'm being naive in thinking two people can have a spirited but rational conversation even when beliefs are opposing? My dad was a huge Democrat, 100% on all issues; at the time I was Independent but leaned toward the right. And we had some awesome and very spirited conversations! I'd never ask until we became more of a couple, but if I were asked, I would not jump to they were judging nor would I judge. Re comparability, I don't consider political or religious differences incompatability. Nothing wrong with thinking or feeling differently about certain issues. Incompatibility for me would be if he did not respect our differences, judged them and made it ugly. That would be an immediate next for me, not that his beliefs were different from mine. JMO but the world would be a much better place if we embraced our differences versus fighting about them and ending relationships because of them. Perhaps I'm being naive when hoping for that. $.02 I agree 100%. I think my jump to judgement about judgement may be misfounded. But that is how I would have taken it.
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