online dating scammers

[lil_missy]

So I just got back on online dating in the last few day and for the first time ever, I've come across what I think are scammers!

I joined Hinge, and the first guy that likes me we start talking, he is alright looking but not a model or anything. We only had one conversation but he really over shared, at first he said he is not bothered at all that I am seperated and has a child and only wish that " my child will like him if we end up together" then he tells me he is currently in Norway and planning to settle down in Australia (where I am) soon for work. Then the really weird part is unprompted, he tells me that his mom had died and that his dad is no where to be found, a complete sob story. 

A couple days later I start chatting to different guy, and at first he tells me he works on the rig in the middle of the ocean but will return to australia before xmas. that didnt ring alarm bells for me yet, but afterwards, unsolicited again he tells me he has made a bad childhood and that his father left and his mother died 3 years ago. 

After this I was like....errr no way these two guys have almost the same story right? so i blocked and reported both of them 

Has anyone else come across scammers like this? this is honestly my first experience i was so shocked, and kinda makes me wonder what makes me look like a target? =(

[Ami1uwant]

Nothing new here.  Through many OLDs there are foreigners looking to be able to get in countries like USA, Australia.  They could be real People looking to come to the country or they are looking to set you up for money wire scams.

 

one time I thought I was talking to someone local. They gave me their number which was local. Then calling it it’s wired overseas. I killed the call.

 

on some dating sites i could tell what might be scammers by their responses to atypical questions and use phrases that are idiomatic expressions that overseas non native people will not understand.

 

 

[Wiseman2]

Screen carefully for local only. After a few back and forth messages, meet briefly in public for coffee.

Anyone who won't meet in a timely fashion or engages in excessive chitchat, is someone who you block ASAP.

Never give out to much personal info.

[BrianK]

Thats the issue with Hinge, it sends you people from all over the place.  Set your mileage limit and check the box that says its a deal breaker, then you'll actually get local people.

[ShyViolet]

Don't ever waste your time with someone who says they are in another country or "far away somewhere" but they are moving to your country.  That is just a red flag right there.  Only date locally.

[Maldives]

Yep lots from the U.S. I'm normally razor sharp picking up the signs but the last one took a couple weeks as it was real grey we had video chatted she was in the U.S so was the real person in the photo until she started sharing screen shots of her shares and Forex and asking if I do anything for extra income. I blocked immediately after. If there overseas that's your red flag that's what I've learnt and they can make up any excuse they like but don't bite there bait. 

Edited November 28, 2020 by Goodguy05

[SumGuy]

@lil_missy   That seems like an over reaction or jumping to conclusions.  What if their stories were true and they just overshare, it is a thing people do.  Then you added extra crap they now need to deal with.  It is not odd statistically you encountered these things, especially if they are of a certain age and/or socioeconomic demographic.  

I agree seems like a lot of deep stuff to share early, but so what, just move on if too much. 

It really isn't a scam until they start asking for sketchy things from you, money, place to stay, meet at a sketchy place, personal information outside the normal realm of initial messaging, and I would add pics .  Sure their sob story may be a set up but so what, block sure but I wouldn't report until they cross the line. 

Also I wouldn't be looking to date any one more than 30 miles from where I live but that is just me.

Edited November 28, 2020 by SumGuy

[smackie9]

First off (if I were single and using dating sites) Talking to someone who is conveniently out of the country for work or whatever BUT is going to be arriving in my city sometime in the future...that would tell me that's a scam. That's how they all start. I learn that from Dr. Phil lol

Edited November 28, 2020 by smackie9

[Miss Spider]

I haven’t met a scammer on online dating. But one of my friends from the Internet seems to meet a whole bunch of these people. No idea 

[Ami1uwant]

To be fair...there are some legit peop,rehoused claim they live in a place when they don’t now..some reasons

 

1 it’s their home toen. They have family there or they frequently travel there for work 

2. they have plans on moving there in a few months like they are finishing school and have a job lined up in the summer to move there

3. their company is moving to that area in the next 3-6 months or they are transferring there.

 

with online profiles it’s easy for a usertoshiftlocation on their profile.

 

if you live in a large city with many travelers there you could get match without out of Towners.

 

 

 

 

[lil_missy]

16 hours ago, BrianK said:

Thats the issue with Hinge, it sends you people from all over the place.  Set your mileage limit and check the box that says its a deal breaker, then you'll actually get local people.

Yeh I know Hinge is an American app, and I've never come across scammers before on other apps so I wonder maybe this scamming is more prevalent in America. I did set the mileage to 50miles, and the guys came up with locations very close to me like within 10 miles. but it was only when we started chatting they said they were currently overseas. 

[kendahke]

On 11/27/2020 at 6:44 PM, lil_missy said:

and at first he tells me he works on the rig in the middle of the ocean

This is a tell tale sign that he's a scammer. They're always an engineer working far away from home on an oil rig.. and right before they return home, their child, whose mother is dead, gets in a bad accident or they're detained by customs over unpaid tariffs and they want $10k from you.

Cut them off right now--both of them. They are grooming you to get you to empty your retirement over them.

Don't agree to move off the app---stay on the app and do all of your communication on the app. Don't give them your phone number because then they're going to pass it around to others in their group to wear you down for the money.

Do a google image search on their pictures.

Copy and paste their profile into google and watch how many scam sights come up with the very same language.

Ask to do a facetime/zoom with them. If they tell you their camera won't work, cut them off.

Just cut them off, period.

In the meantime, report their profile as a scammer.

Edited November 29, 2020 by kendahke

[lil_missy]

12 hours ago, smackie9 said:

First off (if I were single and using dating sites) Talking to someone who is conveniently out of the country for work or whatever BUT is going to be arriving in my city sometime in the future...that would tell me that's a scam. That's how they all start. I learn that from Dr. Phil lol

lol I wish I'd seen that episode of Dr Phil! but I googled signs of online scammer and the top ones were - they are overseas and wanting to move off the app to texting very quickly which both of them did. 

[lil_missy]

12 hours ago, SumGuy said:

@lil_missy   That seems like an over reaction or jumping to conclusions.  What if their stories were true and they just overshare, it is a thing people do.  Then you added extra crap they now need to deal with.  It is not odd statistically you encountered these things, especially if they are of a certain age and/or socioeconomic demographic.  

I agree seems like a lot of deep stuff to share early, but so what, just move on if too much. 

It really isn't a scam until they start asking for sketchy things from you, money, place to stay, meet at a sketchy place, personal information outside the normal realm of initial messaging, and I would add pics .  Sure their sob story may be a set up but so what, block sure but I wouldn't report until they cross the line. 

Also I wouldn't be looking to date any one more than 30 miles from where I live but that is just me.

haha, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt as well and I'm quite naive as in take everything at face value. but it was when TWO of them had such similar stories that it clicked for me! if it was just one guy, I might have got scammed or at least emotionally invested if we kept talking! but i consider it LUCKY that two of them messaged me and there is NO chance I happen to talk to 2 guys that are both over seas and lots their parents! 

[kendahke]

12 hours ago, SumGuy said:

That seems like an over reaction or jumping to conclusions.  What if their stories were true and they just overshare, it is a thing people do. 

No, she jumped to the exact right conclusions. Their stories are lies--and even if it was true, really, you're going to share that your mom just died and you can't find your dad with a stranger over the phone? Who in their right mind even does that?

Educate yourself on how scammers work. You're out of your depth on this. This isn't the situation for polly-anna-ish thinking.

[kendahke]

11 minutes ago, lil_missy said:

I did set the mileage to 50miles, and the guys came up with locations very close to me like within 10 miles.

The scammer I dealt with said he lived 50 miles east of me--he had a google number where you can set the area code to wherever in the world you want.

DM me if you want to know how to smoke them out.  I don't want to put that on blast--you never know who is reading these boards.

Also, they use LinkedIn as a dating app, so beware on there.

[smackie9]

12 hours ago, lil_missy said:

lol I wish I'd seen that episode of Dr Phil! but I googled signs of online scammer and the top ones were - they are overseas and wanting to move off the app to texting very quickly which both of them did. 

Dr. Phil has done many episodes about men and women being scammed. He hired actual investigators to point out all the bull crap, and how patterns emerged. I try to watch as many as I can because these criminals will try different things to hide the scam better.

I'm glad your instincts caught on quickly. I myself have been approached on facebook a few times by fake accounts, using photos of handsome younger men, sending me messages thinking I'm some lonely middle age women with a mattress full of money lol. block delete! My husband loves messing with scammers on the phone....maybe we will hit one of these ones up on FB for $hiz n giggles.

Edited November 29, 2020 by smackie9

[Miss Spider]

Xxxxx

Edited November 29, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[salparadise]

18 hours ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I haven’t met a scammer on online dating. 

Are you sure?

If that's true then you must not have been doing it long, or talked to very many people. They're like a cockroach infestation. 

[salparadise]

On 11/28/2020 at 11:53 AM, SumGuy said:

It really isn't a scam until they start asking for sketchy things from you, money, place to stay, meet at a sketchy place, personal information outside the normal realm of initial messaging, and I would add pics .  Sure their sob story may be a set up but so what, block sure but I wouldn't report until they cross the line. 

Yea man, you're waaaay off the mark on this one. These are classic signs and she was savvy to recognize it. And it's a scam from the first message if their intent is deceive, gain confidence, and shake you down. You'd be a pushover with this amount of naiveté.

I kept one as a "pet" for a few months several years ago. I led him to believe that I was all in and unsuspecting. Then when he asked me to wire money I agreed to do so, but kept coming up with excuses and promising I'd do it the next day, or in two days. It was hilarious. You can make them jump through all kinds of hoops by pretending to be angry. They'll do anything not to lose a live one that they've invested in and is about to pay off.

Edited November 29, 2020 by salparadise

[kendahke]

1 hour ago, salparadise said:

Are you sure?

If that's true then you must not have been doing it long, or talked to very many people. They're like a cockroach infestation. 

Generally, they prowl for women over the age of 45--women who may have a nice retirement funding building or have property, etc.  Generally and very broadly speaking, women under 45 haven't amassed that kind of money and investment, so they don't bother with them.

[smackie9]

There is a notorious scammers group called the Black Axe. This group network with other criminals and share ideas, etc. CSIS, CIA and other agencies are realizing they have set up roots worldwide and it's a billion dollar industry.

[salparadise]

3 hours ago, kendahke said:

Generally, they prowl for women over the age of 45--women who may have a nice retirement funding building or have property, etc.  Generally and very broadly speaking, women under 45 haven't amassed that kind of money and investment, so they don't bother with them.

That makes sense. They go after men older too, not sure if it's an equal opportunity enterprise though. I went on a date with a woman who came very close to getting scammed. She was a school teacher around 50, and she knew this guy was out of the country the whole time, but she went for his story, accent and all, and believed they were in love––had made plans for the future. The mistake he made was going for a large score on the first request. She happened to be the daughter of the local sheriff and she called her father and asked for a background check on the guy. She was going to send the money if he checked out.

I could not believe she was telling me all of this on a first date. Poor woman was so vulnerable, and not savvy. She invited me to her house after the date, even after the previous experience (which had just happened).

The ironic thing about the scams is that they actually want this type of person (naive and desperate), so being somewhat transparent works as a filter that gets them to the best type of mark. Love bombing by someone they haven't even met actually works, and they get genuinely invested.

[kendahke]

1 hour ago, salparadise said:

The ironic thing about the scams is that they actually want this type of person (naive and desperate),

It's not so much that as it is they already feel invisible, they feel the chance for love has sailed without them for the last time and someone comes along who is able to make them believe that love actually could be possible for them and they want very badly to not feel invisible.  These guys spend a lot of time weaving their web and grooming. They are very skilled, which is why one has to know what to look out for early on and shut them down/report their profiles.  That's what I used to spend most of my time on dating sites doing: sussing out scammers and reporting their profiles. (You're welcome)

I actually had one act like they were a woman to try to get me to talk to "their friend".  It's just ridiculous.  There is one site out there that does a really good job  of weeding out scammers, but I forgot what the name was... my mom told me and alas, she's taken that information to the grave.

[Fletch Lives]

Everybody on dating sites is a target for scammers. Just date locally - the scammers are always out of town.